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Psychotic episodes?

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Posted 6/1/2009 12:14 AM (GMT 0)
Okay, what is an example of a psychotic episode? I'm confused when I see that in the list of criteria along with seizures. I have panic attacks and weird crazy scary thoughts sometimes. I also am paranoid. I hate grocery shopping and this will sound EXTREMELY weird and I hope no one thinks I'm a nut job, but I have a hard time picking between the same items. For example, chicken. I will sometimes stand there picking up packages of chicken and putting them back because I'm afraid that I'm going to pick the wrong one and it will be poisoned or contaminated or something. I really freak myself out. Are these psychotic episodes or just anxiety? I do the same thing with boxed items and canned items. I hate grocery shopping. I have no idea if I have seizures. I do not have big ones I know that. My son has epilepsy. I do have moments where I don't remember how I did something. For example, I poured my son some cereal in a cup to munch on yesterday and I guess I walked into the living room and gave it to him. I was looking in the kitchen for 5 minutes for the cup of cereal and then I went in the living room and he had it. Totally weird experience. I have no memory other than pouring it and looking for it. That happens to me a lot lately. I am supposed to have an MRI soon to rule out MS, but I don't have a lot of the symptoms for MS. This happen to anyone else? Maybe I'm really going to end up in a psychiatric hospital. I sure hope not. I am so paranoid that I actually had myself convinced my husband was poisoning me for awhile. I would pour out the water bottles he put in the fridge. Am I being too honest? Am I creeping anyone out?
Posted 6/1/2009 12:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sweet Girl, as I read what you are saying my heart goes out to you. This much I can tell you. I am a mental health caseworker and I raised children with mental illness. I never understood what it felt like to have extreme anxiety with delusional features until now. It is a horrible experience. Jenna, I don't know if you have Lupus or not, but whether or not, taking meds to get the psychological symptoms under control can be a blessing. These meds are best prescribed by a psychiatrist. They are the experts at diagnosis and treatment. I pray you find the answers you seek. In the meantime, please know I don't think you a freaking anyone out. You just need a proper diagnosis and treatment. Blessings, Tammy 

Posted 6/1/2009 5:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jenna. I appreciate your honesty. Sometimes medications can have this affect. Are you taking prednisone? I had lupus cerebritis and had the same symptoms you are describing which began to intensify and become really scarey. I went to my doc and she knew immediately what was going on, we began treatment and I am fine now. You need to immediately seek medical help! Please keep us updated on your situation! God Bless You, Judy
Posted 6/1/2009 6:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jenna. I also agree this isn't creepy, you just need medical treatment. Just today I had a follow-up visit with my neurologist who said all tests were normal (thank God). My short term memory has become incredibly bad, I fall often and walk with a cane or walker, I have tremmors, and loss of sensation issues. Still all is well- it's just lupus. BTW I have had a problem with auditory halucinations. I think I hear music, doorbells, or people talking. I've been taking psych drugs for this which cures the halucinations. I'm an educated woman and not nuts. Please see a psychiatrist. He will fix that paranoia right up. (((Hugs))) Love, Butterflake

Posted 6/1/2009 7:37 PM (GMT 0)
Great reply Butterflake idea ! I hear thumping like a base drum when I have inflamation! I never thought to tell my doc. I guess I was too busy dealing with the pain, fatigue, anxiety, depression, rash.......LOL How does that song go? And the seasons they go round and round....So glad to find you folks! It's emancipating! Blessings, Tammy

 

Posted 6/2/2009 11:34 AM (GMT 0)
Ur so welcome Tammy. I hope Jenna finds it useful too. Love, Butterflake

Posted 6/2/2009 2:56 PM (GMT 0)
I notice paranoia within myself also. I don't think anyone is after me but sometimes I feel like me against the world. IDK, hard to explain. The brain fog also I know too well. Have you explained any of this in detail to your doc? I know it must be hard, you really need to know that you can trust your doc at least that's how I feel. I hope your MRI goes ok, will be thinking of you.
Posted 6/2/2009 7:01 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks! It helps to know that I'm not a nut job. I don't feel completely comfortable with my PCP to be honest. Not enough to tell her that. I have some very twisted things that go through my head at times. My husband would be so upset if he knew I actually believed he was poisoning me and that was what is wrong with me. It never really occurred to me that that was a symptom of the bigger problem. Now that I think about it more, it started occurring around the same time as all my other symptoms, progressively getting worse. However, the big elephant in the room is that it all started after I had children and gets worse after each one. It makes me consider that I might truly be depressed and it may be hormonal. Depression does cause these kind of thoughts as well and I do have an 11 month old. I will just test for all that is out there and continue to take anti depressants in the meantime. I am in the process of finding a good therapist. The panic attacks are horrible. I can't even play wrestle with my husband because as soon as I feel the least bit trapped, I launch into full panic mode and it feels like I can't breathe and I get really scared. I know it is all in my mind. It just takes a hold of me. I've had to leave the grocery store before because I could not handle all the choices I had to make. I have consider other possiblilites besides depression and Lupus. Lyme disease would also fit my symptoms. I don't however remember every having a reaction to a tick bite, but I have had many tick bites. I am interested to see if I am indeed sick because I'm depressed as my PCP thinks or depressed because I'm sick. No matter what, I am going to continue to frequent these boards. Thanks for being so hospitable. It is difficult fighting a disease that no one sees, especially when there is no diagnosis. It makes it unreal to everyone but me. Oh, and I did post a picture of my face rash in the tread Back from Jamaica. I was wondering if it looked like Rosacea to anyone. I usually get it after being in the sun, stressed out, or during a particularly bad week. Take Care everyone! You guys are great! :-)
Posted 6/2/2009 7:06 PM (GMT 0)

Jenna29 said...
It is difficult fighting a disease that no one sees, especially when there is no diagnosis. It makes it unreal to everyone but me.

Very well said... and I couldn't agree more. :-)
Posted 6/2/2009 7:34 PM (GMT 0)
Just one last note. I take anti-depressants for my depression and anxiety. I take an anti-psychotic (seroquel) for the halucinations. A psychiatrist will know just how to treat you. Love, Butterflake

Posted 6/2/2009 8:51 PM (GMT 0)
I will add a psychiatrist to my list of my doctors for sure. It's difficult talking to my husband about it because he immediately takes offense and believes that I'm not happy because of him. Why do some men do that? It is not always about them. I was looking out the window today and he snapped. He asked me if I was wishing I was somewhere else with someone else. In reality, I was just thinking that the lawn needed watering and my flowers were pretty. Depression and anxiety is impossible for my husband to grapple with. He does not understand. He thinks I could feel better if I just make myself feel better. He does not want to talk about my health anymore. It has gotten that bad. I am usually happy to see him go to work because I don't have to put on a show anymore. That makes me even more sad. I love him ridiculously so. He is very committed. He just needs more from me. He has actually laughed when I panic when we are playing around and he accidentally covers my face a little. He thinks my reaction is funny.
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