(((Carol))) Depression can be so awful. For me, depression was the first symptom of lupus although I didn't know it at the time. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for 7 years. My current meds are prozac, klonopin, buspar, wellbutrin, neurontin, seroquel and ambien. I recently asked my psychiatrist if I could taper some meds and he said no. He was right. I wasn't ready.
I seriously think you should either start taking anti-ds or get a med change. Without a good mind set, you can't even think of all the fun things you can do at home. Everything seem like a burden and getting out of bed is a real effort (why should you right?) A few years ago I spent all my free time thinking about how to kill myself. It's a very sad, lonely place to be. Recently I had a major depressive episode for a few months, but thanks to my psychiatrist I only had fleeting thoughts of suicide. For me, life is so much better with the meds. Think it over. You are a part of our lives. I sure don't want you to check out early. I love you Sweetie. Donna