abandoned by spouse after bad news about my lupus

LTL,
My heart actually broke so hard, that I am a ball of tears for you. I wonder sometimes when someone states they are a 'Godly' person, if they truly understand that its not that they state it so much but rather how they 'walk' it. I know you feel alone, lost, betrayed, along with the many other thoughts that come with being rejected in such a horrific and shocking manner.

One thing I learned was to lean on friends -- those friends who LOVE you through thick and thin -- and you know who they are. I have friends who are 'aquaintences' and then I have my 'friends'. They allow me to be me no matter what I do. I also found great things to read; positive things -- and no romance novels ;-). I did rely even more on my faith and found that in my tears and questions, there was comfort there that brought me to a whole new level to my faith.

In short, the stress of this will pay its toll on your already weakened body. But with a board like this (these people are remarkable) and friends and faith and music and anything that you can find that will bring more smiles, then more laughter, then more love, then more faith -- that is the path that I would strongly invite you on. One day at a time...

So today I shall bring you a smile story: I have 2 nephews (whom shall be heretofore known as N1 (oldest) and N2(youngest). They are young men now -- and I had the pleasure of picking up N2 from the airport as he went to see his family and attend the Country Music FanFare in Nashville (or Nashvegas as I like to call it). Anyway, I'm at arrivals, putting his and his friends bag into the back, we get in and I start driving away and N2 says to my 'Oh -- by the way -- I got a picture with Taylor Swift' -- I said 'ohhh yeah -- rrrright' -- he then shows me his iPhone -- and WAM. Its him and his 'idol' Taylor Swift. He then says 'yea yea -- she's legit -- and she'll legitimately be my wife next year' -- OMG -- he said it so matter of factly like 'yeah -- we'll be married - so there'. And from that moment on for the entire drive....it was a delight and a laugh fest of all the antics he and his friends had down there.

Maybe next year, I'll be havin the 'Aunt to the husband of Taylor Swift' in my signature. LOLOLOL

I am surrounding and sending you big (((((( HUGS )))))) and angels your way this day.

Redrose,
I am so sorry to hear about your CNS flare. I too am having memory problems and having my words come out wrong and staggering around like a drunk. It is very frustrating. My 79 year old mother has a better memory than me! I hope the flare is under control soon. I have never had a friend (other than my sister) that stuck with me. My mother pitted my sister and me against each other. It wasn't until 7 yr. ago that we became close. We realize what we missed out on as children. I love her dearly. When I am having a good day, my husband implies that I am faking it. Then, he freaks out when I have a bad day and can't get out of bed. Thank God that you have a new husband who loves you.

Dear LLL, and everyone,

I, too, am a born again Christian, and married for almost 37 yrs. to a man who means his wedding vows, and the 'till death do us part, part. I am so sorry about your marriage and your illness. God doesn't guarantee us an easy life, just salvation. I just and only wish I could say or do something to make you feel better. I will send prayers your way. And especially for your husband, too. I am still mad at God, I lost 6 babies to antiphospholipid syndrome, and demanded to know how a God who said He loved me so much could let me hurt so much. God's plan for each of us is not, and never, wrong. Your husband is letting you down, as well as his God, too. And he will have to answer for that. Please look up to the sky and the clouds, right now. Literally, because God is up there, and take a deep breath, and know that God won't let you down. And it's ok to cry as you need to. But even emotions take a toll on our bodies, so please try and take care of yourself the best you can,

hugs, suetoo

Hi LTL,

I'm fairly new here & waiting for my 1st appointment with the Rheumatologist (next Tuesday) Not sure what I have yet.

I can relate to your situation - I had a breast cancer scare & my husband told me "I'm not staying with a one boobed freak!" This was the man who had been declaring his love for me for 13 years. I didn't go back to the doctor for about 3 weeks, I was so scared. I'm very lucky because it wasn't cancer and I only have a 4" scar, but my husband told me it repulsed him and he didn't want me anywhere near him..........I left & took my kids with me. That was in 1986.

I have a good life now with friends that are supportive of what is happening to me at the moment.   There is no special person in my life at the moment but but I choose to believe there will be someone one day. It is hard at first but it does get easier and true friends are a real blessing.

As you are a born again christian, pray for the strength that you need and remember that He has a plan, even if it's not clear to us at this point in time.  I'm praying for you too. Keep your chin up and take care always.

 LTL whao whao!

 that is wonderful news! I hope you have someone to help you get moved. How far away are you moving? Will you still have the same doctors. I stayed with my bro and sil for a year and ahalf. It was rough going but I was able to get my bills caught up. Then I got a cute little apartment of my own. It has been much better. for me. Hopefully you can get some help with the services too that will help you even more now that your situation has changed. Congratulation and yes please don't drift away. We want to keepin touch and give and get support.

thanks for letting us know.

huge hugs

God is good! and right on time!

carol

Dear LTL,

YAY!!!!!!!!! :happydance: WAHOO!!!!!

I am SO glad for you, so happy that you've won your SSDI case!!! And today you're moving into your sister's house, so now you will be surrounded with love and positive emotions and this will be SO much better for you than the environment you had with your soon-to-be ex-husband.....as Carol said, God is good!

Still praying for you, and also praising God for what He's done so far!!
(((((((((hugs))))))))))))
JoAnn

Hi All,

I'm checking in to let everyone know that the move to my sister's in complete and I am doing well.  She has quite a bit of property on a bayou in Louisiana, and life is very relaxed here.  My sister says I'm in "rehab" here and clucks over me like a mother hen.  I feel much better about myself and my prospects for the future.  My family has been very kind to me.  God has truly blessed me with winning my SSDI case and providing everything I could possibly need.  He has given me good friends in all of you and more support than I've ever had in my life.  I feel like I have been sitting alone in the dark for a very long time, and I have now stepped out into the light and can see things with more clarity and better insight.  It is not good to be alone.  I wish I had reached out for help long before I did.  This forum is a huge source of comfort and friendship that I value greatly.  Thanks to all of  you for  your prayers, support, friendship, and love. 

LTL