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Posted 8/16/2011 3:00 AM (GMT 0)
The ever astute Lynnwood noticed I haven't been posting so she knew I had yet again returned to my shell. She tried to call me but I started to cry and couldn't talk.

I was referred to a new bariatric surgeon hoping to get surgery to repair or reverse my gastric by-pass surgery.  Instead he talked me into more endoscopies to open a hole in my stomach for the food to pass thru. I'm once again having days where water won't pass. I felt like spending 4 months in the hospital (3 weeks in ICU on a vent, and almost 2 months in a coma) was plenty to go thru, but still I tolerated 4 endoscopies in an attempt to open my stomach. Tomorrow the new surgeon is going to try his own endoscopy technique. Here I go again.

I'm a fragile emotional mess and if I'm not vomitting, I'm crying. I really feel that I can't take much more. I also feel like an idiot for thinking weight loss would make me feel so much better.  Regardless, send me some positive energy okay? Love, Butterflake aka Donna 

Posted 8/16/2011 1:42 PM (GMT 0)
So sorry to hear about your struggles. I hope that they can fix the problem so that you feel better soon. I am sending positive thoughts your way!
Posted 8/16/2011 3:30 PM (GMT 0)
Hey, Donna, Good to see you posting,

I hope the new surgeon has better success than you've had previously!

Please don't beat yourself up for trying for weight loss...the idea that lower weight cures all is an insidious disease masquerading as a social imperative in the US and other parts of the world. The medications we are on almost prohibit natural weight loss and set us up to take extreme measures. You are human, you made a human choice...it is what it is, and now we go forward from here.

Maybe we can catch a movie or something later in the week?
Hugs,
Posted 8/16/2011 10:41 PM (GMT 0)
(((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

I feel for you. I hope the doctor helps you feel better soon.
I say to myself when I look in the mirror, "I'm fat. I'm over fourty. And I'm fabulous!" :-))
Posted 8/22/2011 2:04 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much for your kind words. I was able to eat some mashed potatoes today, which is at least a little encouraging. Keep that energy going. My next endoscopy is Tues. Love, Butterflake aka Donna
Posted 8/22/2011 4:23 PM (GMT 0)

Dear Butterflake,

It really is ok to cry, I just wish you didn't feel like it so often. You have been through enough, and more than your fair share, for sure. I will think of you and send a prayer for you tomorrow. Mashed taters are delish. How are you with garlic? In my book, thats the only thing that makes mashed taters better. Hope you feel well enough to catch that movie, and that you really like the new surgeon.

hugs,

suetoo

Posted 8/22/2011 5:41 PM (GMT 0)
Good hearing from you Donna!!! Will be thinking about you tomorrow and hope the endoscopy goes well!!!!
Posted 8/22/2011 11:07 PM (GMT 0)
Hope you are having a better day!
Posted 8/24/2011 12:02 AM (GMT 0)
I had my second endoscopy with the new surgeon today. His bedside sux, but I can honestly say  after working in hospitals 18 years, most surgeons act as if they could not care less about how their patients feel as long as they get the procedure correct. He attacks my  stomach agressively and when I'm in the recovery room the nausea and pain are easily a 9. Learning from last weeks procedure, I requested reglan, benedryl, and 4mg of morphine. It made today much easier. Dr. Rent a Bummer has now opened the hole to 16mm and I go back in two weeks.  Thanks so much for all your energy and prayers. Love, Butterflake aka Donna 
Posted 8/24/2011 1:04 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Donna!
Keep the faith! I'm a newbie here...I've been following your posts...and wish you good health from now on!!!!!
Posted 8/24/2011 1:18 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Donna,

So glad you felt up to posting tonight, I feel like that is good news all by itself!

16mm this week -- what was the number last week? And was there any comment about how much it stayed open? (Us with mathematical minds want to know!)

Hope things go smoothly tonight & tomorrow!
Posted 8/24/2011 6:07 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Sweetie,

Remember me--emmie? So sorry you're suffering z from all this...But there is good news: when we crawl in "the hole", the only constructive thing to do is to look up and climb out. And you are doing that! You even brought your sense of humor with you--"Dr. Rent a Bummer"!

I'm so glad I checked in here tonight. I do about once a month just to check to see if anybody from the old days has been around. Tonight I found you! I'm doing the same. I think I'm on the right combination of pharmaceuticals because unless I goof up and overdo it or life gets "stressful", I'm pretty stable. Wish I could get off of some of the meds, but every time we try to get rid of one or another, I flare up. So...as you always used to say, "Better living through chemistry". I will always remember that from you!

Butterflake, do what you need to do to get yourself through this rough patch. You'll come through and be an even wiser more beautiful woman for it! Take good care of yourself.

Love,
emmie
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