Looking for the train that hit me!

Has anyone seen the locomotive that ran over my body? I'd like some justice!

All kidding aside, (I have to laugh to keep from crying) I appear to be having one heck of a flare up beginning. In the last month I've had a uti, bronchitis (thankfully no pneumonia) and developed an ulcer from celebrex. I think it has taken it's toll and last night I started getting pain everywhere. Even my eyeballs hurt. Lying still hurts.

I see my rheumy on Thursday and I tend to not complain much. I'm trying to set my mind to express to her how things have really been and that I feel my lupus is not under control instead of my usual "things could be worse" attitude. I'm afraid that if I open the floodgates I will end up a blubbering mess in her office and they will have to call a janitor to clean me out of there.

I don't even know where to start! What do I say? Why do I freeze up when I get there? And how do I deal with this pain in the meantime? Help!

Are you sure it was a locomotive and not the steamroller that lurks in my house?

I loved your post even though I hate to hear that you're suffering. It reminded me of my parents when, in their later years, I'd take them to the doctor and when asked how she was doing, Mother would chirp, "I'm fine" even though she might have a migraine.

But it is hard to find a balance between not wanting to complain and not being totally honest. I'm sure you'll find a way, even if you have to write it down for her. Good luck! I hope she finds a way to help you.

Need to write down the complaints too.

I alway remember later what I wanted to say.