How to deal..

People, especially young people, often don't know anything about Lupus, or about MTX. Until you've had a chance to educate them, don't be surprised. And, unfortunately, some will still be quite self-centered. And sometimes, esp when we feel like your friend described, we are human and we just don't think about what we are doing/saying!!! Time will tell who your true friends are.

I'm concerned, however, about what sounds like an immediate jump from no treatment straight to MTX. I think of the various meds used for Lupus in tiers -

1) Plaquenil (which you will remain on), Prednisone (to address inflammation)
2) Imuran, Cellcept, MTX - we don't know which of these will work for an individual, so it's trial & error - perhaps your Dr will let you try Imuran or Cellcept first before MTX. Imuran did nothing for me, but Cellcept saved me big time!
3) Benlysta, IVIG, plus I think there is something new in trials

Let us know how it goes!

Thank you so much for the replies! I have been on plaqunil for two and a half months they've doubled the dose already and so far nothing they say at the three month mark is when they say its ineffective. So that's why my doctor was Saying we might want to start thinking of next options. Because of the mix of lupus and CRPS it's very hard for me to live. And part of the reason their kinda preparing me for the next step is because plaqunil didn't work for my mom and were thinking this type of lupus is genetic. My mom was diagnosed at 21, I got sick at 21. My Ana is neg my mom was neg for years same with double stranded DNA the only thing that points to lupus is high sed rate extremely high CRP (like 30 when the scale here is 1-4.9) high platelets and 2 positive lupus anticoagulants, and swelling over joints some pain breathing and fevers which is why adult stills disease is on the table but since my mom has lupus and had a similar pattern it's most likely lupus. My mom also has myasthenia gravis. I've been taking care of her since I was 12 and my dad and brother left. I became a nurse to specialize in care and now I'm down and out I'm getting married in October which is why stronger drugs scare me. On one hand they could make me feel so much better on the other they could make me look sickly, hair falling out ect. I'm on prednisone now very low dose they literally just bumped me up to 10mg. But I'm still having high fevers and with fevers I get a red hot rash on my face that looks something very similar to a butterfly rash. But goes away when the fevers gone this is one symptom my mom never had. So I dont know in Some ways I feel stuck and I'm not sure who I need to be. I'm hoping there's a new medical trial going on for plasmapheresis via IV rather than a port which could change everything I'm hoping to get in that trial. Thank you ladies for the support and I'm going to look up that spoon theory now!
Xoxo
Kate