Got news from dermy.

Oh honey ((((((hugs))))) I am so sorry to hear about your situation. I know it's scary to hear you have lupus. I don't know what scle is but I'm sure it's along the same lines of an auto immune disease (contaneous lupus maybe?) Anyways, my husband for years didn't understand. He didn't come around until I took him to my second Ruemy appt. when I was officially diagnosed with SLE. He asked the Dr. questions and she answered them. I think our spousesneed to hear how serious it is from the Dr. themselves before they really get it. If he isn't willing to go to the Dr's. with you, maybe he'll come around eventually. I really hope so! Until then you know you can always get comfort from us here. If you need someone to talk to, just let me know. We can go to the chat room and continue. I wish the best for you and will keep you in my prayers. Maybe joining a support group will help you to learn how to deal with your disease. I know you want your husband to be there for you, but in the mean time, till he comes around, you still should have support from people who DO understand. Like I said, if you need to talk, I will be here for you. How long have you been married? Do you have any children? How old are you if you don't mind me asking? It's really none of my business. The bottom line is...if you need support, we will be here for you. I will say a prayer that your husband see's how he is acting. Give him some time though, this is not just a battle you are dealing with, it's all new to him too! But life throws you curve balls and part of being in love is being supportive through good and bad, sickness and health, till death do us part. It's not like you did this to HIM! This has happened to YOU, but effects him just the same. Maybe talk to him and let him know how it hurts you and let him know that you didn't want this to happen. Of course you didn't, but saying out loud sometimes helps. I wish you well. You are in my thoughts sweetie! Take care, Jyllian

bhkhhh,
One thing I have learned from my own husband is that men feel like they should be able to solve their family's problems and when they can't they feel like they have failed. What typically happens next is that frustration takes over and they respond by slamming the door on the situation. I really think that his reaction says more about him and how he feels helpless than it does about you. Tell your disbelieving relatives that if you were going to make up symptoms you would be more creative than aches and pains. I tell people that treat me this way that I was born with a tail and that usually shuts them up ! lol
B
ps ( I was not really born with a tail)
HANG IN THERE

BHK,
I am so sorry to hear the SLE,but now you know-as hard as it is,but maybe now you can get med's to help you,I am so ,so sorry.
I do agree with Bitzi,some men need to ''fix'' a situation,but I know there is the odd day were my husband starts the ''compare'' game-I think he looks for validation and support in a weird way(he's gonna loose that finger if he doesn't stop p'ing/moaning about that wart! )
Family and friends that either don't believe or are burying their head in the sand,have to realize ,we were not put on this earth to live up to their expectations,(nor are they to live up to ours).
I said I agree with Bitzi,and I do,but there is also the possibility that this may be quite ''normal'' behaivor ,I think that only because I get that feeling from my husband sometimes,it's like they want to pretend everything is fine(medically)-my husband I use to go at each others throats before I was diagnosed,no matter what I said,he was doubtful and angry,and when I was hiding it ,he was questionable and angry as well-I just couldn't get it right. Do you think you can talk it through?
My thoughts and prayers are with you ,along with best wishes,and for the record,I care about you a great deal and would no matter what the circumstance,I think you have alot to offer and think you are a doll!xx00
crystal

bh, I'm sorry for all you are going through and what your husband said to you.  I don't blame you for being angry about what he said.  I don't know if you have heard us mention it here before or not, but there is something written called The Spoon Theory and you can find it at butyoudontlooksick.com   The Spoon Theory does a great job explaining to healthy people what it is like to live with lupus everyday.  I printed out several copies and gave them to my family and a few close friends.  It did help my husband understand things better.  Even though my husband is supportive most of the time, I still worry about the effects of my lupus on our marriage since I have very little energy for him or our relationship on a lot of days.  I try, but I'm not always able to. I hope things settle down for you soon.  At least you found out what was going on with your labs.  Just try to be gentle with yourself right now.  Take care