Bad choices?

Lately I've been doing things that are just not like me. I've been careless with my finances and my orgination skilled have really become nonexistant. I have always really thought things through before I did it and aired on the side of caution. Lately I feel like I have very little self control. My brain feels like it has completely turned into a trader against me. I am probably not even getting this out right but it's bad enough to look at myself in the mirror and not recognize me phsically but to not know who I am mentally is getting to be a bit to much.

thanks carol

 

Hi Rosie, Thanks, I'm glad you understand what I was trying to say. It's so embarrassing to have weaknesses that wern't there before. I do take effexor for depression. They increased it a couple of months ago but I really don't think it's enough of the right thing. Yes your right about the plaq. at least I havn't seen anyone else taking 800ml. One doctor knocked it down to 400 just to have the other put me back on 800. I have a new rheumy to see oct. 4th so hopfully we can fix that problem. Otherwise I may have blindness to add to my problems. I don't really have a food issue but i can't seem to put the cokes down.

Thanks Sweetie I appreciate the input

love

carol

Carol, it's funny that you brought this up because I was thinking some of the same things this morning. I used to be really good about paying our bills on time and keeping our checkbook balanced and now I just let those things slide because I don't want to do them and some of our bills end up getting paid late. I keep telling myself I'm going to stay caught up on those things better, but I don't do so well. Like Rosie said, food is another issue and also shopping is another one for me. If I have the energy to shop I love to buy things. I don't go way way overboard, and I use everything I buy, but I probably enjoy it a little too much. I think the food and the shopping are because those are two things I can still enjoy when lupus has taken away so many other things in my life. When I first got sick, I remember not feeling like myself at all and it was so hard to explain. IT was like I would see myself in the mirror, but I felt like I was removed and it felt very weird. I felt like I had to try very hard to still be myself and to act like myself. I kept asking my husband and my mom if I seemed like myself. I also had a much shorter fuse than I had ever had and I snapped at my kids way more than I ever had before. Over time all of that has gotten better, althought there are still days I am kind of short tempered. I'm thinking that somewhere along the line some of the meds I've been on have helped me feel more like myself again. It is a hard thing to explain, but I do hope you'll talk to your new rheumy about it when you see him. Hopefully it will be something as easy as a med adjustment. Hopefully it won't take too long to get it figured out and that there won't be a lot of trial and error. Love and hugs

Hi okie,

Anti-d's can cause a loss or lack of inhibitions. The increase of Seratonin can cause a false feeling of 'I can do anything.' Also a compulsive feeling that makes you make decisions spontaneously. All these things can be looked up as side effects in a drug book. Don't sign any legal papers. LOL. And stay out of the mall or casino's. LOL. I'm glad you have more energy though. You just increased your Effexor and it takes 2-4 weeks to see a difference. Maybe you need to lower the dose again? Or try a different anti-d? I hope you feel better soon. Take care okie.

Kitty

Carol, I think sometimes when I start feeling better and have the energy to get out, it's almost like a natural high. When I go through a period of being too sick to do anything and then have energy again it's like 'Wooohooo, let's go' and just knowing I have a little energy again gives me that feeling of euphoria. I went shopping with a friend on Wednesday and had too much fun. I mostly bought stuff for my kids. One of the most fun things for me is to buy clothes for my daughter. She is only 5 but is way into fashion and she looks so darn cute in in the things I buy her. Everything I bought was on sale, but it still adds up. I bought myself a little manicure set to pamper myself. I think this disease puts people on an emotional rollercoaster (or at least it does for me) and sometimes it makes me feel a little bipolar. When I'm really sick, I can get pretty down, but when I'm feeling better, I get very happy and excited. I also think, like some of the others have said, that our meds probably play a role in this too. Carol, it's a good thing we don't live near each other or we'd be out at Walmart running people over in our motorized carts trying to buy everything in site :)