HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

stress

Support Forums
>
Lupus
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 7/28/2008 5:16 AM (GMT 0)
i have a question reguarding stress.  i have alot of it on a dailey basis.  i have 3 girls, 16, 10, and 6.  they are all going through thier own phases right now as you can imagine.  my 10 yr old who i adopted has adhd, and oppositional defiant disorder.  she, in herself is very stressful somedays.  i have noticed that recently though i feel like i can't handle very much stress at all.  i feel like i become overwelmed very easily.  i just kinda shut down at that point and i know i'm letting my kidws down cuz of this. 

i don't know why this has happened but its i can't handle my day to day life.  like someone has taken away my coping mechanism.  i haven't been dx yet and that just makes it even more frustrating, i just feel if i had a dx maybe there would be something i could do to help the situation.  can lupus cause you to not be able to take stress well.  i do feel that when i'm extremely stressed thats when i have an episode of pain and exaustion.  so i'm wondering if there are reasons why i'd be feeling like this. 

Posted 7/28/2008 4:10 PM (GMT 0)
I have experienced a lot of what you just talked about . I used to have very good coping skills before I got sick and handled stress really well. After I got sick, it was like those coping skills were ripped away from me and I just couldn't handle stress well. I think that with a chronic illness, stress triggers symptoms to get worse and too much stress sends lot of us into a flare. I know what you mean about shutting down because I do that too (I have 2 young kids). I handle stress a little better now than I did before, but still don't handle it the best. It's like someone messed with the wiring in my brain. Sometimes I just take a little time for myself and lie down in my bed and close my eyes for 10 minutes or so, and then I'm a little more ready to deal with the stress. It sounds like you are having some mom guilt, which is something I'm also very familiar with.
Posted 7/29/2008 1:35 AM (GMT 0)
I also have a very hard time dealing with even minor stress.  Stuff that would roll off of other people with no problem!  The disease itself can often be responsible for causing anxiety disorders.  Our brains and chemistry change, our coping mechanisms change, all due to the actually disease, as well as the plain old shock of getting this diagnosis and living each day with it.

 

Anxiety disorders are awful.  I have one.  I never used to.  Stress, anxiety and lupus go hand in hand.  You're definitely not alone in this and it's very common.

 

I'm learning to take long deep breaths, meditation or prayer, drinking lots of water, eating well, and getting whatever exercise I can, really helps.

 

So does talking about it!  Which you're doing! (wink wink!)

 

Ginny

Posted 7/29/2008 3:17 AM (GMT 0)
thanks so much.  its nice to know i'm not alone in this.  i'm from mi and a yr ago we moved here to indy for my dh's job.  we have no family here at all and all my friends are back in mi as well.  i think thats what makes it extra hard cuz i don't have them here to help out if i need it or for support and my dh works alot.  i'm a stay at home mom. 

Posted 7/29/2008 3:40 AM (GMT 0)
No, you're not alone.  Far from it.  That's why this forum is so great.  We all "get it"!  It's hard being away from close friends or family.  That support network is gone and it leaves you with another "loss".  Have you thought about contacting your local lupus chapter to attend a support meeting?  I did that when I was first diagnosed. It helped so much to be with other women who were going through the same things.  I made some very good friends. I learned a lot too.

 

Is it easy to talk to your husband about how you're feeling? How about your kids.  Do they help out enough at home?  All this will make your stress levels easier to manage.  They need to know that helping out is a must do, not an option. 

If you ever need to just let it out and vent or have a cry, we're here for you Domanique. We might not have faces or arms to give you a real hug, but I hope our words can give you the encouragement and support you need.  Here's a cyber hug for ya (((((hugs))))).

Ginny 

Posted 7/29/2008 5:15 PM (GMT 0)
thanks, i can talk to my dh however he works alot so i can stay home with the kids and i feel like when i do talk to him it overwelms him.  the kids do chores, they do help out when i ask, but like i said they are all going through thier own phases.  i spoiled them and did everything for them so to have to do things more hasn't been easy for them.  i haven't found the local lupus chapter.  i'll look into that.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply