Hugs to Tammy "LovedbyHim"

(((((((((((( Tammy ))))))))))) I'm SO sorry you are going through so much. I didn't want to respond to your post in the other thread (we call that "hijacking the thread") . . . so this thread/topic is just for you sis. Any ONE of the items you listed would be hard . . . but to have all that at once is downright difficult. Did you lose your dad? I'm sorry you are needing to move. *sigh* This darned disease takes so much from us. I can't imagine having to part with my house and my fur babies. I just feel so bad for your situation. Sending you a big hug, prayers, some hot tea and . . . Blessings!

Thanks so much ladies! You bless me richly. My father did make it through the stroke, but it is a rough long haul caring for him. We(my 5 brothers and sister) take turns caring for him and I truly get exhausted from it. Losing my pets is very hard for me and I still cry off and on over my dog Bennie . Losing my home is easier, because it is too hard to take care of now. It's a beautiful little haven, but I'm just too tired. My daughter and son in law are good to me and so I hope all will go well. If not, there is always apartments. It's all good. Yes it is the disease that is altering my life, however,maybe I will have more time and enerfy to enjoy other things, like my grandchildren or going on a mission trip, or having tea with someone who needs some love. The sky is the limit if I don't have 50 chores to tend to! Thanks for caring. Tammy

Thanks everyone. I lived the spoon theory yesterday .After a long day at work, I had to nap, and then I received a call about my dad misbehaving. I went to see my father to have a talk   with him and then returned home to get my house worked on. People who want to look at my house  and goats tomorrow, don't need to walk through knee deep grass, so I had to mow. I then fed the animals, took a bath and ate icecream for dinner. I craweled into bed with pain between my shoulder blades so bad. I put a heating pad on and waited for the meds to start working. I thought to myself, I never thought I would be in this position when I was a young girl. I was a runner, training for the Boston marathon!!! Now I have pain and muscle spasms that take my breath away. I know I need to let go of what I was and embrace who I am now.  It is a struggle .Now Is not all horrible. I met new friends like you. I am going to have a deep relationship with my beautiful 2 yr old grandaughter as I live with her and love on her. Soon, when I get home from work I can sit and rest! How I long to rest more. In truth I beg God to let me not have to work such long hard hours. I don't know what to do about working. My friends all look at me and say, "It's time for you to look at disability." Some days I believe that more than others. I don't know what to do, so I just put one foot in front of the other until the day is over. Sometimes I cry so hard because the work is too hard when I am so sick. Sometimes I think, "I have brain fog so bad, what if I mess up on this report?" I make more errors. Etc. God help me to get through this mess. I feel guilty whining like this when others have it so much worse. Carol has it so much worse. Bless all of you abundantly! Tammy 

((((Tammy)))) I'm so sorry ur going thru so much at once. I can relate to lots. I have advice that I think will help u long term. Go to the Social Security disability web site now and print off the list of what's needed to apply. Start gathering that info little by little right now, including all medical records and make 2 copies of everything. That way, when u must quit it will be much easier to get ur disability packet ready and u will only need to update ur medical records. I'm sending prayers and positive energy. Ur crossing a very long bridge right now and I know it's a terrible struggle. The end of the bridge is there, just keep walking okay Sis? Love, Butterflake

Tammy,

Have you brought up the subject of disability with your doctor?

You really do have your hands full. I've learned that there is a fine line between getting enough exercise and overdoing it. If I don't get enough, my body feels it, but if I get too much, I crash and have a mini flare. Had I done as much in one day as you did, I'd be six feet under! Or at least I'd wish I were!

It sounds like living with your daughter and her family will bring you some joy. I hope they are supportive and understand what you're going through. You're blessed to have a 2 year old grandchild.

Hope you hang around.

Pat

Hi Tammy:

I'm so so sorry that you're having to deal with so much pain, exhaustion, and losses in your life. This disease is hard to deal with at times. I just wanted to encourage you to hold on and continue to forge ahead. I know how are it is to cope with things.

Just for some background info on me I've had lupus for 22 yrs now and I recently found out that I have RA pretty bad about 2 years ago. I've had fibro since 1995 and my lupus was so so bad I took cytoxin to treat my lupus and I ended up getting MDS (blood cancer) it's known as smoldering leukemia. It will continue to advance into full blown leukemia over the next few years. I was told straight up that I'm going to need a bone marrow transplant if I hope to continue to live longer.

I know that we are all struggling with our various issues. I can certainly understand the feeling of wanting to give up. I'm on oxygen 24/7 and I feel so sick all the time, I believe in miracles but I don't think I'll be getting one anytime soon. So what do I do when I'm in pain so bad that I can't think straight, and so exhausted that I can't move? I remember I've got a daughter to finish raising and I have all of you here to support me and love me.

Tammy don't give up, I know it's hard to accept that we need to be on disability. You're a wonderful person and you bring something special to the world and you are a shining star in this universe. Hang in there know that we're all here for you and we truly understand how you feel. Please take care and enjoy your grandchild. Wishing you a wonderful Mother's Day.

Hugs,
Barbara