If your rheumy is basing his lack of diagnosis solely on the ANA report, you may want to consider getting an opinion from another rheumy.
Is any Dr giving you any treatment for any of your symptoms? It is possible to feel better even without a diagnosis.
To find a Dr experienced with Lupus - I suggest checking with the Lupus org at
www.lupus.org to find your local chapter. Then check in with the local chapter to see which local Drs are active on the advisory board -- these are generally the Drs most interested in and most experienced with Lupus in your area.
Let us know how it goes!