So Big

Morning all, thanks for being here and caring for others.
I am having a time. I have multiple health issues. Each diagnosis as difficult as the next but if I was asked which was the instigator I guess I would have to pick SLE.
It is the inflammatory processes that aggravate and set trouble into motion.
Currently I struggle terribly with GI issues. In my opinion it all started in my thoracic and cervical spine. The inflammation seems to be aggravating nerves. Nerves that control everything from breathing, stomach motility, digestion.
The inflammation is mostly in my cervical spine. That pain in it’s self is unbearable at times.
It is also aggravating sinusitis, face, ear and eye pain.
In short I am a terrible mess and it has been going on for coming up two years.
The health care system is moves very slowly and sometimes not at all, especially ally when someone has chronic issues...ever notice that? If I was a CEO or a “normal” healthy person and a betting person, my money would be on the fact they would have gotten this misery taken care of long ago.
All this causes much frustration and anxiety. After all I am stuck everywhere I look.
I have had a mountain of change in the past five years all beginning with the sudden death of my brother. Just three years before that losing my Mother to cancer and five years before that my father to cancer too. Since I have moved back to the family farm, renovated a farmhouse, closed my dearest brother’s estate and grieved and still grieve it seems like every possible way one could.
But I have done it all the SLE way carefully, cautiously and skillfully, it’s why I am still here.
So now for the most part the work is over. Just grief remains and I work at that still, probably always will. But I would like to move forward now into some kind of new normal.
I know Imcan’t go find a day job. I don’t know what each day is going to bring.
But I thought maybe a start would be volunteering.
Guess what after researching the volunteer web for where I live....maybe not so easy either!☹️
The current exaserbation is miserable, was in the ER last week and they helped me allot but just with feeling better not really addressing the issue....I have specialists for that.....like a dog chasing my tail....
So SLE causes inflammation, inflammation causes illness, longtime illness is causing anger, anxiety, frustration,.....so keep busy, help others, eureka!.....volunteer and help someone else😃
...........😳 can’t as I’m to sick and can’t commit!
Stuck, stuck, stuck.😢
Anybody else ever feel like this too?
Thanks tuffymason