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Lyme/Hiv resemble each other so good

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Posted 6/29/2009 2:17 AM (GMT 0)
Lymekiller, I realize that you are worried and concerned about your own symptoms but you need to try to be a little bit more sympathetic and sensitive to what others are going through. Until you walk in someone else's shoes you have no idea and no right to think you are worse off or have the answers.

This is a safe place we can all come to for support and understanding and we all should try to give the same back. You seem to have absolutely no understanding how LD can affect a person, other than the brain fog you experience. Please stop minimizing and making light of what others are going through.
Posted 6/29/2009 2:24 AM (GMT 0)
I agree, Scorpio. James was looking for support, and many members here (including Kitt) gave suggestions to help him. Nobody can really understand what anyone else is going through. Yes, lyme is a terrible disease, but so are most other diseases, and it is not fair to assume that we suffer more than anyone else on this forum. And it's also not appropriate to belittle another person's helpful response on this forum. Why don't we redirect the thread again to helping James.
Posted 6/29/2009 3:11 AM (GMT 0)
WOW. Not ANOTHER person who wants the "I'm the sickest of all" award.
Posted 6/29/2009 3:19 AM (GMT 0)
James you are not alone in this. I am sending good vibes your way. : my previous comment was not about you, James.
Posted 6/29/2009 3:24 AM (GMT 0)
When I went to the doctor who diagnosed me with Bartonella, he asked if I felt guilty or punished. Evidently that is part of the psychological damage that the disease can cause BUT it is temporary and will get better when you treat it. I did not have those feelings but I was angry and depressed. Wierd rashes can also be bart and of course lyme can inflict a lot of similar damage. I was better (not cured) two weeks after starting bartonella treatment. It is the disease, not you. Hang in there, tell the LLMD what is going on because it relates to how the bacteria are affecting you. It is diagnostic of what you have. It is nothing to be ashamed of.

We have all done things we regret. Ironically it is feeling defective and not good enough because of past mistakes that can lead to more out of control behavior, just feeding that feeling of worthlessness. Try to think about how you are a good person and the good aspects of your life. See your glass half full instead of half empty. Take a walk in a quiet place like a park, smell the air, listen to the birds, feel the sun and ask for God to keep you safe. Remember the loving thoughts directed your way from people that understand and care.
Posted 6/29/2009 3:25 AM (GMT 0)
hey guys,

thank you so much for all your support, it brings a few tears to my eyes.. i actually do mean that.. i saw that "gracies mom" called me today and left a VM, after i heard her message i broke down in tears. I was so happy that someone reached out to me that didn't even know me. It was a special moment in my life i'll never forget.. I mean never!! i called her back and we talked for a good 45 minutes about stuff and she gave me a ton of advice.. i am loaded with information now that i can move foward with.. I will be taking the HIV test and other tests to rule stuff out or IN, hope and pray i'm ruling these things out.. I'm sorry for talking about HIV in the lyme disease forum, but it has been on my mind ever since i had that one night stand 4 years ago.. And once someone gets sick, and stays sick, the past comes back into my mind and it haunts me. Thats why i say that HIV is a scare of mine, i was thinking to myself, MAN, what if i get tested for lyme and it comes back neg but pos for hiv. wow.. what a shocker huh?

but to everyone else that is supporting me, all i can say is thank you!!!! to the bottom of my heart!!! i'm a really good guy that has never felt like this before, like many say, it feels like i'm actually dying.. I was just waiting for any doc to tell me *you have 3 months*.

i'm a very pro-active person.. i might take things a little to far sometimes.. I actually do have those thoughts of ending it, but i know i won't.. i just think that way, because i've never felt like this before.. if have been sick, its usually a 2 day things and it goes away. But when you have the chronic pain and anxiety/stress everyday for the last 2 months almost... it makes you think, "why do i get out of bed" its like waking up to a nightmare..

the best part of my day or night is sleeping, i know that sounds dumb.. but sleeping makes me sad a little because i'm wasting my day, but then again it makes me happy because i'm not dealing with any stress/anxiety at the moment..

i don't know who to thank first, but i know you all support me, and i'm praying for good results about hiv. i'm just trying to knock out whamies right now and move on from one disease rule out to the other rule out...I'm hoping to rule them all out besides lyme and pinpoint that as the culprit.

i ruled out skin cancer.. one down!!

lupus-runs in the family, i'll get tested for that also....

i know i sound like a hypo, but hey, there is no way i would be doing this if it wasn't for lyme.. which is better safe than sorry i guess.. so i can say thanks to lyme for something i guess. not trying to be funny.. but hey, i haven't sounded funny on these threads for the last week. or at all..

i will be a nervous wreck prolly after testing for hiv, but i will request some anxiety pills tomorrow "gracie's mom' advice given there. thank you

like gracies mom said.. i will rule out other stuff and send off my IgEnex papers and blood tomorrow to test for other infections that quest doesn't do.. and go from there, i will be getting in touch with DR. C in Springfield MO and hopefully recover from this disease and keep it at bay.

lymekiller. i understand you have issues like all of us do, i'm not trying to be selfish and draw all the attention my way, this is my first time dealing with this, and i'm confused about everything, i have little support at home so i come here. And everyone here has been so supportive plus 100 times. I hope i didn't do something to upset you.. i'm sorry you are having problems also, i will pray for you and everyone on here that has a rough time with the disease or knows someone close to them with the disease..


what else can i say, i love you guys and gals!!! it might sound weird, but i actually believe in you guys and i know you mean the best for me.

i will report back with results soon. hopefully positive results, not positive as in bad, but positive as in negative results.. that almost came out wrong... who wants to look at a piece of paper and it says your positive.. OUCHIE!!!! i would freak....

thanks to all...
Posted 6/29/2009 3:32 AM (GMT 0)
lk unbeknown to you but depression can and does cause folks to be fatuged along with many of issues. plz never judge till you have walked in there shoes. everyone has the right to think as they do and we all have to follow the rules.
Posted 6/29/2009 3:41 AM (GMT 0)
stutterbug, uh, please. What and who are you talking about?
Posted 6/29/2009 4:04 AM (GMT 0)
James,
Boy I was worried about you. I am so glad to hear you are going to get an appt with Dr. C. Hear he is excellent.

I remember when I didn't know what was causing my symptoms and telling my husband that I felt like something invaded my body. I think I was at the lowest point in my life at that time. I loved falling asleep, too. I was able to put my mind to rest for 6 hours or so. It was a break from all if the stress. I was depressed, angry, I hurt so bad and lived on the couch for months.

I want you to know that I hate going to doctors. I do all of my necessary appointments but avoid them at all costs. That is why I never went to the doctor when I had the Lyme rash. Assumed it was poison ivy and it would go away. Well my symptoms got so bad I had to go. "take my blood and find out what is wrong with me." as I cried in the office. You CAN do this. If I can get through all of it I have faith that you can,too. For someone that feared every doctor visit, blood test etc...fearing what they might tell me I have..I have come so far. And you will too. I believe that. It is very scary to be out of control. Must be a hang up I have but it does get better. I was right where you are now last year. I thought I had RA. Every time the TV was on a commercial would come on for Orencia. I was convinced that this is what I was dealt.

I think you are selling yourself short..you can figure this all out and you will!!!! Like I said before anyone can have a symptom of almost any disease. It doesn't mean you have it. Oh...and about the skin cancer thing...perfect example. You stare at a perfectly normal freckle for too long and it starts to look abnormal. I have done this a million times...I end up being fine. I have worried my whole life about things. Always thought the one time I DON'T worry I will end up having something. Well I have Lyme , and in a strange way it has made me stronger.

Everything you are going through is normal. I Hope you get into the doctors and please know I was thinking of you!!!! Keep your chin up.
Posted 6/29/2009 5:05 AM (GMT 0)
Hey James, I am so glad you spoke to Gracie's Mom and now have a plan in place. I'm sure she gave you fantastic advice. I believe Gracie's Mom has enough knowledge, experience and compassion that she could set up shop and treat us all herself. I know I would be first in line. lol

I know you're going through hell right now but at least you now know you're not alone. There are so many here who can relate and understand.

Take care and don't forget to check in with us to let us know how you're doing.
Posted 6/29/2009 6:48 AM (GMT 0)
james i will be praying for you also
Posted 6/29/2009 3:10 PM (GMT 0)
+LYME, I was just responding to LYMEKILLERS remark. I was genuinely shocked.
Posted 6/29/2009 4:27 PM (GMT 0)
Hey there James,

I am so glad to read your latest post and know you are doing better. I am here to support you and please know my email is open if you want to talk.

I understand extremely well how any chronic disorder can make us feel like nothing will ever get better and we feel like we are on our last thin thread but look how wonderful the members of this great forum have poured their love and support upon you to help you through. That speaks volumes to me.

I do feel your HIV test will be OK. Just believe and know we are all here in HW to care for and support all.

Blessings to you.

Kitt
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