This feels so hopeless. Is it?

I just ran out of Amox and have an appt w/ a new Dr on Tuesday. He is in Family Practice.  The LLMDs here are all booked and/or I cannot afford a Dr who doesn't take insurance.  Our local Lyme Association recommended this family practice to me, as 'knowledgable of Lyme'. 

I am very anxious to hear what he says and how he views treatment.  Even tho I have read and read and READ about how long treatment might take, I find myself feeling like IF this bacteria could be eradicated, it should have been after almost 3 months of this level of Abx. (3500 mg of Amox)  It FEELS like I should have killed it all by now, or else it must be incurable. Instead, my pain, fatigue and depression continue to worsen.

I am discouraged by those of you who have been in treatment for years and are still not well.  I thought I would be willing to take abx for a couple of years if necessary, but now feel scared.  I am definitely interested in more natural remedies, but am still concerned about the length of time other folks here have been on those and who must constantly keep this bacteria in check.

I do have babs as well, and my LLMD for some reason did not treat it.  I note that you all and the Drs say that if the babs is not treated, the Lyme won't get better. How and why is this??  If lyme responds to abx, then why can't the abx knock it out and leave me w/ babs?

I have done so much research and felt like I understood so much, but now feel like I'm going backwards.  I'm having trouble believing that all this makes sense.

I waiver between wanting to totally beef up my immune system and seek miracles, and giving up.  I'm getting weak and can hardly take pushing myself any longer.  My life, which should be good, feels like a total nightmare.  I have to work fulltime and supplement my income cleaning, every other week.  I have active dogs who need to be walked and taken to the woods to let loose.  I don't have any choices there. 

I am sorry to be such a whiner, knowing many of you are so much worse, but trying to support myself and my dogs, or to do any of my own chores has become miserable because of the pain and the fatigue.  Again, it feels like a living nightmare.  I really want to give up, but don't know how to do that either.

Is there any other kind of bacteria that is this difficult to eradicate?? And is it possible that this is incurable for many of us? I don't think I can fight w/ this for years, the way many of you have.

btw, I'm an almost 57 yr old woman, so it ain't easy, as it is.....

 

Post Edited (+Lyme) : 11/1/2009 3:55:39 PM (GMT-7)

Hi + Lyme

Lyme is scary. I mean- there is nothing definite about it. We still don't know the best way to treat for it, or test for it, and not even LLMD's can say how long each patient will take to get well.

BUT- even those people who have to remain on antibiotics can get well- it's just that as soon as they go off antibiotics they fall back. And many of them are on low-dose antibiotics that don't effect their life in a major way.

But I don't think you need to worry about that yet. It's not just finding the right strength and length of treatment- you also need to find the right combination of antibiotics/natural products. Lyme is sneaky- it's hard to find the right way to get at it. And most bacteria doesn't get left this long, and isn't able to infiltrate your system so much.

Also- I don't know any more details than you, but I have heard that if you don't treat babesia, Lyme won't get better.

I know what you mean about your life. I committed myself to school (and paid tuition) when my brain fog was so bad I couldn't make good decisions, and now I'm stuck with it- I can no longer get a refund, and if I drop out I loose all my student funding. I have to push myself really hard just go get through each day. I use up spoons from the next day every day, and then try to make it up on weekends except I can't...and I feel like I'm just waiting until my body gives up on me.

It can sound nice to think about giving up on treatment- but that won't make things any easier. You'll just get sicker, and things will be harder.

It sucks, and it's hard, but when you do get better it will be worth it. And with patience, and perseverance, I really think nearly everyone can get better.

I hope you find something that works for you soon- but keep your head up no matter what.

Hugs,

Nicky

Lyme,

Like ttlittlestar suggested, maybe you need a more natural aproach? Some of those protocols are not too expensive. I'm not sure how you feel about a more natural aproach but maybe do some research on it.

I also think that co-infections should be treated first. I bet that's why you're not feeling better yet.

You can do this. Do it for your dogs! Get treatment for your Babesia. Looking back now, I thought the first three months of my treatment were the worst. I'm a year and half into treatment now, but I wasn't treated for twenty years after the first exposure. Find the treatment that is right for you and keep as positive as you can. Yes, it's a rotten hand you've been dealt, but play it out!

Thank you for all the responses, everyone. It is so strange -- I actually had a better day today, I would not call it fatigue and pain free, but not the desolation that I felt over the weekend. It is so frustrating how not only our pain and suffering, but mental attitude fluxuates!

I am anxious to make a 'plan'. I went to the LLMD who does not take insurance for 2 things only: Proper lab tests, diagnosis and to at least get started on abx, til I could get into a DR who takes my ins. So I am anxious to see what the new Dr thinks and prescribes. And I will be sure to question him about successes he has seen in treatment.

I have not begun any 'natural' treatments besides my megadoses of C and garlic, along w/ other vitamin supplements. I need to get organized and make a new plan. I guess, deep down inside, I had really expected a 'cure' from the Amox. I was optimisitic and expected a rapid recovery.

And Razzle, I did a little (not a lot) of research on syphillis. What I read stated that early treatment can be as simple as one shot of penicillin and in later stages may be just several more shots over a 3 week period. So, I guess I'm finding it difficult to understand how a possibly 'related' spirochete can be so utterly more complex than the lyme spirochete.

Yes, I have read that and I understand that. I guess I am just now questioning it because it seems to make little sense.

Again, thank you everyone for your responses. They were deeply appreciated.

+Lyme, please note that garlic only really works if it is the kind that really smells. It is the odor containing part of the garlic that has the antibiotic properties. The odorless garlic does nothing. You need pure allicin.

so taking kyloic you know that garlic in a bottle- is pointless?