new to forum-sinking fast

Hi all, Well I am new to this, but I have reached a point that if I do not vent or find poeple who are in the same place I will completely loose it.  I reached a new low, I actually had to call my mother to fly in from Florida to come care for me and my daughter.  I am so completely exhausted from thinking about what has happened to me and my life.  I am going to to loose my business of 17 years.  I have 2 or 3 days in a week that I dont feel dead and the rest i can't barely get out of bed.  I am sooooooo sick of counting pills and taking meds to feel not even better.  *** is all I want to scream.  The ups and downs are unbearable and I really feel like I cant even help myself.  Is it me or do others feel like this too

yes have lyme disease, with multiple co infections and other viruses now like Epstein Barr because of the lyme, and when I first fell ill i was treated with heavy steroids because they attributed my sickness with a mastoid infection.  So needless to say, the steroids completely ruined me.  I have researched Lyme + at nausium, its not that I dont know how to proceed it is the will to proceed that I have lost.  It seems like its a battle I can't win.  The downs are so down that it just sets you back just when you start to see a little light.  I am a successful independent single mother, and I am loosing everything I worked so hard on my whole life to achieve.  how do you even cope with that???? How do you not want to shrivel up???? How do you find the strength to get up in the morning when eveything you have gotten up for in the past is gone????????????

I right there with you liteupmylymelight.  I am new to all of this as well, even though I have been having issues for years I just got diagnosed last month.  It seems every time I turn around I am getting more test results that are bringing me further and further down. 

I have always been independent and not wanting to rely on anyone.  Last year I got married and my husband has always told me to let him help me with things.  I like to do things myself and feel bad having to ask anyone for anything.....until recently.  Now, he has to do just about everything and its killing me.  I have been out of work for a month and dont know when i will be able to go back.  Sometimes in the morning I dread getting up because I know the day is going to be filled with nausea, vomiting and just feeling bad.   I am on zoloft but that didnt seem to help much so my LLMD put me on abilify to help with the ups and downs.  Its only been 2 weeks but I dont feel as bad mentally.  I used to have crying spells every day but this past week so far I have had none.

This forum has been the best thing for me.  There are people here who are ALOT worse off than I am and I get inspired when I read how they refuse to give in to the disease....I admire their strength.  There are also people who are getting better, so I draw strength from them knowing that there is the potential to get well.  I get up and deal with all that I have to deal with because I love my family and want to get back to feeling like me again.  I have read so many things about having a positive attitude and everyone is right.  You have to maintain a positive attitude.

I hate that you are feeling like you are and pray that you start feeling better soon.  Everyone on this site seems to care alot about each other.  Just know that you are NOT alone and if you got to vent.....just do it. 

You will be in my prayers,

L

HANG IN THERE!!! You can and will get better. I'm doing it. It's a lot of work and takes a lot of inner strength but you can do it. I've been on antibiotics for two years now and just got in from 45 minutes of gardening and feel great. Do I have bad days? Yes. Did I lose most of my friend? Yes. But I have a wonderful family, kids, husband, job, home and my life. It is just so worth it. You can't reverse time so acceptance is the best way to deal. I still struggle and cry now and then but have learned to take deep breaths and enjoy each good day and sleep through the bad ones. It is incredibly scary but staying positive is so so important. Make sure you have a good understanding LLMD who believes in you and encourages you. Stay on this forum and post every question. Try and keep busy (easy for me to say I know) with new or old hobbies and take in the simple things of life if you can't do your usual activities. Hope you have a good day today.