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choice to stop searching for lld

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Posted 12/9/2011 6:07 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all, i just had a thought. over the last week i have been reading the posts on this site and have not decided yet if i will start the hunt for lld again. 2 years i have rested, yoga, meditated, relaxed, and accepted my limitations. until now i have been good. by good i mean, happy at peace with being out of suicidal pain and have the ability to enjoy my family and some hobbies. even though i have to rest every couple of hours and spend 70% of my time in bed. i feel better because i letgo of all the stress and aggrivation that i lived on a daily basis while searching for a lld and a cure. I just realized something very important and i would like some opinions please. i have been more stressed out this one week that i have been in years. questioning, searching, hoping to find an lld so i will not go blind. BUT....here is my choice.yes it is the only one. i can keep searching, stressing, hoping, exhausting my limited time out of bed on looking for an lld. meanwhile my body and lyme symptoms get worse, pain gets worse, brain gets worse from lack of rest and overstress OR i can do what i have done for 2 years and relax,yoga, breath accept my limitations and allow my body to be shared with bugs that stay asleep in my nervous system as long as i dont keep pissing them off. it seems to me that the path to stress and the endless search for lld will make my health worse..much much worse much faster than the second option i mentioned. what do you think??? idea idea
Posted 12/9/2011 9:13 PM (GMT 0)
Letgo,
I write this while having a bad brain day myself, but I write this filled with care, and concern.
It broke my heart to read that you have chosen to not find a doc to get the treatment that you obviously need so badly. I was right where you are not that long ago. I could only find 1 doctor in my area that would even consider seeing me because I had the audacity to say that I had Lyme Disease.

I chose to use alternative medicine and start healing rather than waiting for the "regular" medical community to catch up to the rest of us. I am in no way trying to convince anyone that the way I went is right for them - but that doesn't mean that healing isn't out there for all of us!

The longer anyone goes without the right treatment the heavier the bacteria/toxin load their body has to try to deal with and eventually it will catch up to them, causing damage to organs, joints and brain. I know this because I went 37 years without the proper treatment.

I have no doubt that the tick-borne infections that I carry are the reason for the loss of female parts, the loss of all of my teeth (as I was very good at taking care of my teeth - it just didn't matter), 1 knee surgery that turned up nothing, the loss of my appendix and the loss of my gall bladder. I had no short term memory - and was quickly loosing all long term memory, had crushing bone pain, fingers and toes twisting and turning, and migraines several times a week as some of my worst symptoms.

Of course I can't get back the lost organs, and not all of those symptoms have gone (although to my surprise my fingers and toes are actually straightening out!), but I have had amazing progress in less than 9 months of treatment!

And this is why I am writing this. I really don't understand. If I can achieve healing - even if I only make it to 50% of what a normal, healthy adult my age is-
why would I want to stay in bed or stuck in the house not being able to do anything?

Of course no one should try to force healing on anyone - it's strictly their choice. Although it always make me want to ask why?

There is no need to answer this post - especially if I upset you - which is not my intention at all!!! I feel like I am starting to get to know you and so I care - deeply. My daughter tells me I am a very passionate person - so forgive me if I have crossed a line, please. I just hate seeing anyone give up when I really feel that to keep on fighting will bring healing - even if that person has to have others do the fighting for them!!

BTW - If I did upset you -first of all my apologies, but you can feel free to email me and tell me so - I promise I would understand that too!

No matter what though - please do take the best care of you that you can!
Posted 12/10/2011 4:23 AM (GMT 0)
hi traveler, i only choose to not get treatment because i cant find a lld. and the stress of trying to find one..going from dr to dr to dr and tests i feel will only make me worse. if i could see a dr tomarrow who would listen to me and actually treat me according to the new guidlines i would be so happy to start tx. it took over 10 years and i dont even remember how many drs. to find one who was willing to work with Dr. Shoemaker long distance. he was the first and only one who helped. after 2-8 month tx he said he could do no more. my kidneys couldnt take it. i have contacted dr shoemaker and i am reviewing the paperwork he needs to decide if he can help. this is great but....the problem is,i have to have a dr here willing to work longdistance with dr shoemaker. maybe i will get lucky again. what alternative meds are you using?? thanks
Posted 12/10/2011 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Letgo,
I don't like to get into my exact treatment protocol because it is very much tailored to my body, what it requires and what support it needs. If you want to email me though I would be happy to 'talk' with you!! Who knows?? You might come away with a few ideas to try in your situation! =)

A couple of things that are readily available to all through a health food store that most of us infected with these nasty infections has to deal with are:

A herbal mix that I am using in a daily tea for my Lyme treatment - and I'm making good progress so far! 9 months on this.

1 herb - Houttuyniae - for my Bart infection - good progress there as well! 6 months on this.

Turmeric - for all inflammation in the body. I had to go to using the tincture as they capsules weren't being used well enough by my body.

Ginger - I had more nausea than what my doctors could figure out to do with! LOL! Seriously, none of the scripts that I tried helped enough, I stayed extremely nauseous all day long - until I started using ginger root powder in capsules! I have to take a large amount - 5 grams a day still - but my nausea is gone! I can even read in a moving vehicle now!! I've never been able to do that before using ginger.

I use Motherwort tincture for my anxiety instead of the Xanax I was on.

I have also switched to Homeopathic remedies instead of the thyroid med I was on and for supporting my adrenal glands. I find that my body utilizes these much better.

Anyway, that's a good portion of what I take, plus a few others. As I said, this is tailored specifically for me and what my body requires to function and heal.
Posted 12/10/2011 9:45 PM (GMT 0)
thanks
Posted 12/10/2011 10:38 PM (GMT 0)
You're welcome! smilewinkgrin
Posted 12/11/2011 4:36 AM (GMT 0)
Letgo, I totally understand your frustration.

A few years ago I just stopped searching for treatment because the stress of it was all too much. Even now the stress of treatment is really getting to me...so much thinking, so much researching, so much work! It's such a shame that it's such an ordeal for us as patients, but it's a complicated illness so treatment has to be complicated and confusing too, I guess.

When I stopped going to doctors though, I didn't realize I had Lyme. I had been diagnosed before, but then "undiagnosed," and at the time I believed I had something along the lines of fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue/some kind of "just learn to live with it" disease. And at the time I wasn't bedridden - I was still able to maintain somewhat of a life.

I'm not going to try to convince you of what to do, but I'm just wondering why you're having so much trouble finding a doctor? Is it a matter of insurance or just actually finding one in your area? I went to http://flash.lymenet.org/scripts/ultimatebb.cgi to find mine - I got A LOT of suggestions there (I think it's okay that I post this link?). Maybe that will help you?

I also went to see Dr. Shoemaker years ago...and had trouble finding a doctor to work with him...that was a really complicated story so it all just fizzled out and I found myself doctorless all of a sudden. Right now I am using part of his treatment in my own protocol. I KNOW it can get so overwhelming, but once you do find a doctor you can trust who is willing to work with you, and willing to listen to your suggestions and the research you've done personally...it does get a bit easier.

In my case I've had to find a lot of creative ways to avoid getting sicker from the stress of all the details of getting treatment...it's helped a lot to just accept that while the situation is really unpleasant, there's nothing I can do to change that, and all I can do is keep trying to get better. But if you need to just stop for a while, that's understandable. Treating this thing is a pretty big job, and you have to be ready for it. I hope you find some answers and some healing.
Posted 12/11/2011 5:39 AM (GMT 0)
Let Go

there is section where you can put in an email addresss for people to personally contact you.

If you don't ant to use your regular address then use a yahoo or make a new gmail address,

You put it in your profile. We can not just give you names of LLMD as part of a RULE here.

There are thousands of people who red these boards but do not post. Many time my concerns have been answered by
those people because I have an email address in my profile. ( I have never gotten spam on this email either)

It is a relly sad state of affairs if anyone comes to this board and was not able to find an LLMD.
In my opinion we have really failed at one of our MAJOR functions here.

I completely understand your reasons for letting go of the idea of stopping stressing over finding the doctor.

70% of your time in bed ...... is a lot.

If you had some other form of treatment I could see giving up the LLMD search.

Please give your self one more shot and list your email in your profile and make a post
of looking for a tick borne specialist in your area.

My email is in my profile if you wanna email me and i will send info back also.

I too have let go of the doctor route because I have ran out of money and no insurance
and spend 70% of time in bed. The most important thing is to stay out of depression but
there i too many infections not to deal with either naturopathic or medically..

your choice of course.
Posted 12/14/2011 1:14 AM (GMT 0)
Boy can I relate.
I almost envy the acceptance you experienced for two years.
Im tired of fighting. I got well and then again for the zillionth time relapsed.
I am back on treatment and I may even be herxing, its bad.
I am not supposed to mention supernatural matters I assume. That said I have never followed all of the rules. The next time our church has a healing, assuming they do I will be there and in the meantime take my meds and keep the faith..
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