New Lymie here..emotionally numb

Hello everyone. I have been scouting these types of sites for quite a few weeks now and have decided to give this board a try. You guys seem real friendly and supportive. The name is Michelle and I live in Portland, OR. For several months now I have been getting incredibly sick, symptom after symptom, psychiatric hospitalization after hospitalization.. only to find out that I'm not crazy and that I have Lyme Disease.

I just had my first Lyme doctors appointment the other day.. and so my journey begins. I'm scared. I'm lonely. I'm sick and I fear all sorts of things. I used to be young and full of life and adventure. Somehow everything stopped and changed.. and that girl who traveled to the Middle East fighting oppression and occupation is now lying in her bed fighting off the oppression and occupation of Spirochetes.

I share a lot of the same symptoms as the rest of you but I seem to be having this one symptom that is so uncomfortable and overwhelming..and I can't seem to find anyone else that has had this.

EMOTIONAL NUMBNESS..or a diminished range of emotions. It was actually one of my first symptoms which accompanied a depersonalization..but the depersonalization is gone and the numbness still survives. I can't feel love anymore or any real emotion for that matter. I will listen to a song or look at someone I love or talk to them..and no emotions accompany these moments. Sometimes I can feel a diminished or dulled feeling of anxiousness. But never good feelings. Only nothingness or dulled irritability or anxiousness. Has anyone else felt this? And how does it go away? I notice that I'm really sensitive to supplements and when I take tyrosine or tryptophan aspects of this symptom will subside for a short moment. Does this mean that the Lyme has depleted my nuerotransmitters? Does anyone know anything about this? Or why this kind of thing happens?



Michelle

How long did you experience the numbness? I think I'm going to start taking the Tyrosine daily to help with depression. I have all of these fears that I'll never get my emotions back.. like that somehow it is brain damage. I want to feel again. I used to feel so much.

Hi Michelle, and welcome to the forum.

I speak as both a Lymie and a mental health social worker when I say that you should give strong consideration to starting some form of antidepressant. The emotional numbing you feel could very well be a symptom of your Lyme, but it is also a classic symptom of depression, and given everything we deal with, depression isn't a big surprise. With luck, the right med--pharmaceutical or natural products are available--will restore some normalcy to this aspect of your life. As with any med, over-the-counter or otherwise, check with all of your doctors/naturopaths for advice on whether it is OK to take it with whatever Lyme cocktail you're on.

Any more questions, please ask us for help. This is such an isolating disease, and friends and family often don't fully get it. We're here for you.

Take care,
Scott

I'm pretty sure that this is more than a symptom of depression because it isn't sadness. I would say that it is apathy but it isn't even that. It's like I can still feel. But only at about a 2 or 3 on a scale of 10 where 10 means lots of emotional experience. I feel like it is is this physical thing and it coincides with the brain fog and other cognitive and/or psychological things that I am experiencing. When I take a deep breath, I can't feel relaxed. When I wake up.. i feel different.. not rested. When I see pictures of friends or family.. I can only feel a little bit of emotion and its so diminished that the memory and feelings stay for a second. My rational brain.. the one which can read and think is more heightened than it was before. I used to have a harder time reading and writing because I was so emotionally distracted. But I don't have that problem anymore.

I want to believe that when I start my harder ABX treatment that these things will subside..but I have this fear that it is brain damage. People say that the brain has a way of healing itself. Does anyone know what it is that Lyme does to the brain?

Being worried does not help the situation.. but I want to understand how the healing process is supposed to work.

Keeping and open thinking brain,

Michelle

My own lovely brain was very screwed up from Lyme for months!

There were times I thought I would NEVER feel better or think clearly or feel anything (other than depression) again.

Seems my head/ brain are finally healing after 6 months of abx and other treatments.

IMO-- I think you will get better too.

Hi Michelle!

Im a fellow Portlander...so hey!

When it comes to what your dealing with I don't have an "answer" but I can tell you a tidbit of my story. I went from waiting to die...to feeling so beyond positive in my every day life now. It was such a crazy intense switch of my mentality and it truly saved my life. I did this naturally. I am not a big supporter in antidepressants so I do not think they are imperative. Yet sometimes they are a decent boost to ones mind. This disease wrecks havoc on not only our bodies but also our emotions. Its difficult to be able to handle all of this. Basically what I am saying is that I understand. I've seen both sides of this & am fortunately now on a healing path I thought I could never reach.

Feel free to send me an e-mail anytime for any reason. I would love to share whatever I can to help someone dealing with what I once did. Also know you are not alone. I am here for you in tangible mode & this forum is here for you with incredible amounts of support!

What DocDelMed said is 100% the truth.

Post Edited (KaliDhi) : 4/4/2012 6:39:48 PM (GMT-6)

Hello All, I hope that everyone is feeling 'okay' whatever your okay may be:)

Me, not so much. After coming accross this thread, it interested me b/c i too deal with this problem. It's a problem in every aspect of my life, even being a mother. I have two wonderful children 12f and 4m. They are my everything, but they are also victims of this horrible disease and co's(my son has chronic myco). Especially since Ive been emotionally, sexually and spiritually numb. This began for me after my abx treatments started. It has not gotten better even through treatment, anxiety meds, trying anti depressants and even counseling. My marriage has suffered most of all. I cry occasionally, but it's usually b/c i'm just fed up. Otherwise, i cant shed a tear. I admit that i feel guilt. Maybe I've somehow numbed myself and it's not the disease. So confused.

I think some of it is a defense mechanism, at least for me. I don't know how to respond to anyone anymore. "How are you feeling?" I HATE that question anymore. The only thing I can think of is "I HURT!" but who wants to hear that all the time? Also, I just don't want my family and friends to keep feeling helpless, so I try to stay busy when I am at work or just sleep. It is sad because at times I just can't stand it. I am trying so hard to keep my job (and may still lose it). I go in the bathroom and cry because I just hurt so bad. I too was VERY active and that is another thing that makes this difficult. I loved to spend time with my family, friends, animals, volunteering, etc. Now I can't even be relied on to do the dishes. My life consists of getting up, taking pills, going to work, taking pills, going home, taking pills and straight to bed. This IS a very lonely disease and I always wonder if anyone will every understand what I am going through physically or emotionally. I am seeing a counselor, but sometimes I wonder if she even gets it. I'm ready to get off this rollar coastor ride.

 

Hi Michelle,

I have also experienced emotional "numbness."  In my case, lyme affected my adrenal levels, and this made me so low on energy that I was emotionally numb.  At the same time, I still experienced bouts of anxiety.  Furthermore, many lyme patients also have heavy metal toxicity, and heavy metals have a substantial impact on emotional well-being.  Mercury, in particular, causes people to experience depression and a general attraction to dark/sad things. 

A few holistic mental heealth centers are starting to test for and treat heavy metal toxicity before treating people with psychiatric drugs, and they are finding success with this.

Do you have a lot of WiFi, radio/cell towers, wireless smart meters near your home?  These also supress the adrenals, mess with the limbic system, and can cause/exacerbate feelings of numbness and anxiety.  The more a person is affected by electromagnetics, the more likely it is that they have metal toxicity.

As for myself, metal chelation and adrenal support have improved my emotional situation, as has receiving laser treatment at some accupuncture points.