I have been feeling wobbly shakey ,. weak etc the past couple days , been just dealing .
Then today my baby chicks heat lamp caught their cage in the barn on fire ,..then the stall caught on fire . A customer was outside picking out a puppy and came right in the house saying he thought my barn was on fire !!!
I jumped up to look and sure enough black smoke rollin out the window I ran down ( and you know if my symptoms were just anxiety or in my head they would be quickly forgotten when there was an emergency to handle , but it doesn't go away , the shortness of breath/air hunger is already bad and it just gets worse , I can't handle any external stimulation ( good or bad , even laughing brings on shaking fits and weakness etc ) ..... so I am trying to find the end of the hose , then the hose had a kink , then another kink , then the lever to turn the hose on and off was partly down so slow water pressure . I was FREAKING out , I was trembling all over to the extreme, my vision was getting dark like tunnel vision and I was shutting down , my arms didn't want to move when I told them and my legs were so shaky that I was having a hard time to stand up and do all that I needed to do . It felt like I didn't have enough strength to use my fingers to switch the shut off on the hose on . Its like that feeling when you are in a bad nightmare and you are trying so hard to run but you aren't even moving instead .
I did finally get the hose working and I stood there say omg omg omg ( lol ) and marching in place ( I wanted to run and my legs felt so jello , I couldnt think whether I should run for the phone to get fire dept here or not , I was afraid if I didn't knock down the fire than it would do so much damage before they could get here .
ONce I got it mostly out ( smoldering ) .. I walked up and talked to the old man ( customer) that was sitting up on the porch at my house ... he didn't look well , he was all gray and pasty looking , he was acting funny , he kept leaning forward and holding his knees and gasping for air . I asked if he was ok , and he said yes , but as we walked and talked I saw that he was not acting right . So I asked him if he felt lightheaded and he said no .
I think he probably has post tramatic stress disorder and was having a panic episode , and maybe has health problems to start with , he is much older . I felt so bad I am the type that is very sensitive to people's body language , but I end up "feeling" their pain . So I was getting more adrenaline and panic from feeling like he was going to have a heart attack or something . He went and sat in his truck . I sent one of the fire fighters ( my 6 yr old called 911 while I was spraying the fire ) .. to talk to him and ch eck things out . He ended up ok .
What a scary experience .. I am wiped at the moment !