Bartonella and Lyme Rage

Oh boy have I been there!! I've come very close to hurting someone because of being in one of those phases and being 'pushed' just a little too hard! So please be careful!!

When the 'attacks' got really serious, I would either go out and split firewood - seriously!!- or go find a big thick branch that had come down from one of the trees and beat the livin' daylights out of some poor tree!! Fortunately, our neighbors aren't that close to us!!! I can imagine what it would have looked like!!! LOL!!

Detoxing helped me, but time in treatment helped more. Be sure to keep your environment calm - calming music, watch where your thoughts are going (& correct them when they go negative), and being very aware that it wouldn't take that much to 'push me over the edge' and knowing how to talk myself down were my biggest helps. Especially knowing where my thoughts were and then correcting them if necessary. Negative thoughts lead to negative attitudes, which for us, can lead to actions that we could regret.

I'm so, so sorry that you are dealing with this! I hope this helps!

you can make a punching bad out of sand, pilowcase, thick cord to tie it to something. tree branch, I would do it outside or in garage in case it comes undone.

Well Kristo, you definitely have your plate full!! All any of us can do is our best. I bet when you do get to do the detox bath, it's some nice "me" time!!

I think I would find something to do in the basement as well!! LOL!! No need to worry the neighbors or have them calling the police thinking that you are losing it!! Giggle!

Punching bags, or even several pillows to punch might help. You may find talking yourself down helpful also. Meditation helped some for me as well. Keep on looking for things to help you deal with this anger that's not really yours. You'll get there!

It sure does have wonderfully supportive members!! I do hope that you can find one or more outlets for this! Stay creative!!

Hey Kristo -
I feel like I'm reading my story when I read yours. I am currently struggling with my Bart rages too. Yesterday I was so frustrated that my husband was listening, responded to something that I didn't even ask while his head was burried in his phone. He hears me but doesn't 'HEAR' me. I fought myself and kept myself from grabbing his iphone, jumping up and down on it and then throwing it out in the street. For me, I struggle with the rage and the anxiety with treatment. We are pulsing my abx and on days when I'm on treatment I'm more rage like and on days I'm off I'm more anxious. It's a fun balance!

I have an almost 4 year old and work two jobs in the evening and on weekends when I'm not taking care of my little one. So I'm a stay at home, work from home job who runs a company and consults on the side. I get the not having time for my stuff. I can't do the detox baths as they make me worse so I do the foot soaks 2x a day. This way I can work while doing the foot soaks. I have found that as my energy has increased the following stuff seems to help keep down my rage and also clear my anxiety for most of the day:
- Qigong: I have a video from Gaiam that you can probably find at Target or Barnes and Noble.
- Yoga: I like Rodney Yee and he has a 5 day program with a detox session and a healing session both of which are my favorite. I try to do one every other day.
- Meditation: I recently went to a meditation class. They had a woman who was stuck in the North East due to the hurricane and she was a yogi in Hawaii. She taught us 4 meditations. She practices Kundalini (sp?) yoga which has over 700 meditations. One was for anxiety. If you're interested in checking her out I can pass on her website. I do one chant (the anti anxiety one) every morning for 5 minutes.
- I have my daughter do a meditation with me. When she is calmer, I am too. When I sense that she's getting frustrated and irritable which will probably set me off, I sit her down and do a slow paddy cake type of meditation that is just the repetition of the words 'peace' and 'calm'. Happy, calm kid is happy, calm mama!

Hope something will resonate with you or you will find something that helps you. Please let us know if you find things that help you.