celebrating birthday... hard to do

my **th birthday is coming up, a big number, and while my best friends and partner want me to throw a party, a part of me feels depressed and even embarrassed or ashamed because i have these health issues. i pictured it would be so different by this time of life. it makes it hard for me to emotionally celebrate especially when others have their health and don't really know what i am going through. I don't want to dwell on my problems or even reveal them actually, most i know are of the "think positive and everything will be ok". nothing wrong with that but sometimes i just withdraw because ..well.. i think some can understand... the struggle it takes for me to make it through certain routine daily activities.

but i want to celebrate. just not sure how to put these two together. i don't want to tell people what's going on... but deep in my heart i feel sad about what's going on even if hopeful that one day things will get better... and hope is a main word here.

have others gone through this?

ps i have a lot to be grateful for as well but that doesn't change the daily frustration i live with... and that i feel different and in a sense i cut myself off from others because of this.

thanks... this has been going on five years and i have not really celebrated for five years... it's just that this is a decade birthday and i feel i should. sorry about your vertigo, that's a tough one. i am sound sensitive which is also tough at times, makes it hard to go out to loud venues... (which is almost everywhere it seems, sometimes)... i really don't want to tell people, even casual friends, because i don't think most people know what Lyme is at all, i didn't. i didn't believe it much before it happened to me so why should they? i think that makes it harder, not having the same social support as one would for something known and measurable, like, say, (well... fill in the blank) they all s**k.

well i just got diagnosed by a chiro-neuro (i think Dr Jernigan falls into this category?). about 5 weeks ago. but it answers a lo of questions.

i got tested with for cd57 and igenex in 2010 negative but my dr now says it is not uncommon to get neg. tests and he's muscle tested me twice for borrellia. (well it was not entirely neg. but "neg. enough for my dr. to say not to worry").

i do have a lot of the symptoms (peripheral neuropathy, tinnitus, sound sensitivity, muscle soreness, headaches, lack of motivation) and never felt right about being classified as fibro though that was the closest people came. but this fits much better.

actually i've been having health issues for much longer (low thyroid, back pain, etc...).... as far back as 1985 (thyroid, migraines) and back pain (2000) so I wonder when i really even got lyme (assuming i have it) which i am more and more coming to the conclusion that i do... i am certainly being treated for it. i could have gotten it in the 90's when i visited somewhere near Lyme Conn. for all i know! but then again i live near a lyme-active area anyway.

the more i read... the more it seems to fit better than anything else. strange... it makes me wonder how many others... (oops i am digressing...)

right now i'm taking green drinks, charcoal, cats claw, golden thread, smilax, ... some detox baths. keep debating where to go from here. all kind of new to me.

i like my dr and part of me wants to rush ahead and part of me is good with him and i also have the MTHFR homozygous gene copy (just found that out too) so.... slow is good. don't want to do too fast as detoxing is hard for me to do.

Post Edited (Lotusrising) : 2/11/2013 3:46:10 PM (GMT-7)

my doctor blood tested me but i think you can get it from 23andme.com as well... thanks for your good wishes and kind words!

lots of people have the MTHFR gene mutation and i encourage everyone to get tested because it's pretty widespread ...

they put folic acid in all sorts of foods, which is actually quite harmful if you have this mutation --- so you really want to know about it and correct it, as it affects your abilities to detox.

there are some other excellent posts on this site about this gene and resources for testing as well.

When I see MTHFR I think of a very inappropriate word LOL

Oh Good!! I'm not the only one!!! Snicker, snicker!!!

Lotusrising,

I don't have any advice, except I want to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! don't allow this illness to steal your joy.

Don

Lotusrising,

I want to wish ou an early happy birthday.. And though it's tough, I like to think of it as still celebrating life. It may be a tough one with some tough times, but it wouldn't mean as much if it were easy. Nor would we appreciate how valuable our health was if we had no problems.

I have done a lot of research, and I think every lyme patient should be tested for the MTHFR gene when they are diagnosed with lyme. My doctor did the test with quest, and both my daughter and I have it. You can't clear toxins.. so you won't clear lyme. And I have to say, after learning as muscle as I have and seeing how well I respond to the therapies, I thonk this lyme would have been much easier to treat and faster as well if I knew this earlier.

I urge everyone to get the test. It can be done in so many labs. Insurance covers it if you doctor orders it. Takes a couple days to get the info back. And opugirl and Lymer, the MTHFR gene mutation, well I would like to call that mutation and it's symptoms by that word you seem to think of when you see it.. lol

Very creative, Hope2B!!! Wonderful!!!


I'm sorry we highjacked your thread, Lotusrising!!! I couldn't resist!

I do hope you have a very wonderful birthday and celebrate with a few close friends & your partner. You deserve it!

My 50th birthday () will be here in a little under 4 months myself, and have trouble wrapping my brain around the fact that for most of those years, Lyme has had control over me and for about 3 years, my brain as well.