just expressing my sadness

 

 

  I have such neuro stuff, 

 

  I just reached out to my mom who lives nearby,  for her to ask others to help me

 

She has always been, cold, u are 18, out of the house, kind of thing, well that happened, it was like all chords were cut then, and I should have cut her out of my life then.

 

But I am a different breed so to speak,  I guess that old fashioined, of family is imp, kind of morals...., family sticks togegther...... honor thy parents,

 

I had no clue of what I was doing, and being dyslexic, special ed, it was tough, but I made it through

 

and lived my life

 

until I got so ill.....

,

she dose not say anything ,  I gave her a phamphlet on lyme about all my symtoms.

 

 

 She does not say anything, she justs asks where I am moving too

 

 

 

   She works in medical sys.

 

 

 

I cant believe it,  she clearly does not care about me

 

If I was not so sick, I would not have reached out

 

I don't get it

 

 

I am so hurt.  My whole life , growing up, stuff, with her has been a lie.

 

 

I cant believe someone in medical field does not care about me, a daughter.

 

 

If she worked in another field,  It would not hurt as much.

 

there is some breakdown here

 

I don't get it....

 

I would think she would have more compassion, or something

 

 

I am sad.   If I had a child, I would have been helping as much as I can from day one, years ago.  I would have healthy boundaries, but I would be caring, and loving, and reaching out to community for help

 

I am so sad, crying now  

 

I have a serious illness that has affected by brain, my god... and

 

that I don't mean that much to her....

 

 

I am not on anitbotics, and I feel I need it despertly.

I am trying to go for another llmd,

I am in this horrible situation, I need my house to sell

somehow do that, and then use money for care

and god help that will help or I am done for

I appreciate your warm words and prayers, thank u so much

I need them, like we all do...

I take Dr. J neuro anitox and it helps, I ordered more, it should come tomorrow or soon

I am on countless supplements, and cholestrymne

I cant believe, this spircohetes is shapped like a screw, drilling into your tissue, etc

I use to be a professional, college edu, I am a grown adult

but since getting sick, I am autistic like now, so talking about my mom, is child like,

I would not have acted like this if I was not sick

so I know I have significant damage

I just go outside and stare at birds, just like a weirdo but I am not

I just cant help it


I am hanging on prayers to get through each second

and this page

I appreciate the support and a place to write, to get it all out there

thank u

Also, Wellbeautifulspirit, you mentioned your mother is in the health field. I do not know what she does, but am learning very quickly how few people in this field truly care. I say 'few' because I absolutely, sincerely worship and honor those of you who do care and do help -- and I have had Drs and nurses like that.

But most recently, unfortunately, I have learned that there are far too many people in this field who do not belong there. And unfortunately, this is supported by Administration. Before Thanksgiving, my dear, sweet, most loving mother in the world, who cultivated all things beautiful: flowers, birds, her special bluebirds (she worked for years to bring them there), her special hummingbirds, butterflies, and about 25 children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren who all loved her dearly and could not wait to go see her because she was so fun. She gave things she couldn't afford to give, tended to the sick and needy thru her church, was fun, funny, silly, inspirational, yet never spoke a curse word or stabbed any person in the back. She exercised regularly, did yoga, swam, ate one piece of dark chocolate per day because it was good for her, drank 1 glass of wine per day because it was good for her. She did nothing but give out love so very freely.

Telling you all of this, because she was 83. She was diagnosed w/ pneumonia and treated for a few weeks w/ some improvement. Altho the Dr still saw something in her lungs, he did not prescribe any more abx. Longer story shorter, she ended up in the ER because she could not breathe. She was still cutting up, 'smoking her pipe' as she called the vaporizer/ breathing apparatus.

Drs and nurses were completely uncaring and incompetent, you see, they don't like or care for old people. They gave her a very strong diuretic, yet w/ a bed pan she could not reach for herself. After the humiliation of wetting her pants enough times, the nurse said it would be better to go w/ no underpants at all -- 'more convenient'. Can you imagine her humiliation?? She was given huge broad spectrum of abx for the pneumonia which was never actually properly diagnosed -- it was supposedly bacterial, yet nothing grew in 2 separate cultures which wasted much precious time. When this set of abx not only did not help, WHY in God's name did they continue along that same route?? Because of the abx they had had to take her off Coumadin (blood thinner). When she developed more difficulty in breathing, a large male nurse came at her, as if in attack on this tiny 100 lb Granny (who he refused to call by name) w/ a face mask. It terrified her and she pushed it away and asked my father to get her out of there.

When my father protested this treatment, this nurse yelled, 'She's a sick old lady and she needs it' and proceeded his attack w/ no explanation whatever to my mother. My father saw it all. He saw her terror and he saw one side of her face droop and he, himself had to go running calling for a cardiologist.

She had had a stroke. I saw her the day after and she saw me and squeezed my hands. But the next few days, I watched her slowly die. Her nurse had placed a speaker at her ear playiing hard rock music, which we had to fight to change. They had her hands wrapped tightly in towels to keep them warm. It was me, not a nurse, who unwrapped the towel from the hand in which she had no feeling and was appalled at the severe swelling and that her hands (and feet) were turning black. The nurse had no concern until I showed him what her rings were doing to her fingers. 'We'll just cut those off, that's what we always do.' God, my Dad lost it! You've taken out her partial, you've removed her necklace and her bracelt and earrings and never gave a thougth to her rings?? They had never even cared or thought of her swelling hands and fingers.

Talking to the Drs was like talking to the 3 stooges. They informed us of each failure, but had no clue what was wrong. They did not work together, they did not work on her at all. They just let us in there whenever we wanted and let us watch her die.

It is this same hospital, which you may remove if you want, but I want to state it here, Memorial Mission in Asheville, NC, where my father contracted enterobactor clocae, a deadly, abx resistant bacteria during hip replacement surgery. He contracted it because operating rooms are so filty. They figured he would die, but he didn't and now must stay on Cipro the rest of his life because, as w/ Lyme, there is no way to prove he still has it and no way to prove it is completely gone.

I am sorry about the length of these stories on wellbeautiful spirit's post. I just wanted to state that in my opinion that mainstream health professionals do not care and do not have sympathy or empathy. They work under trial and error and losing the life of such a beautiful, precious angel did not appear to affect them at all. She was nothing more than just a 'sick old lady'. Yet there is not one single member of this family of 40 something who is not still suffering the needless loss of this beautiful, true, Earth Angel.

Wellbeautifulspirit, how you are treated is NOT an indication of your value or who and what you really are. You are a beautiful spirit in spite of the way you are treated. do not forget that.

I am very sorry, I know family does not believe Lyme is real. My husband does he sees it everyday, but family I have been close to for years , don't want to talk about it or deal with it. I so wish for you to get better, I hope you sell your house, and get the treatment you need.


justme

I live in the Poconos in PA.

Patty

I don't want to mention where I live on here

since I babbled too much anyways.