Lyme disease and Family not believing you are sick.

Let me start out by saying it's been a rough road for me, like I know it has been for all of us with Lyme. I had to find tooth and nail to get the first positive lyme test, only to be told I cured myself.

I have been sick for a while now, and yesterday, I had a family member email me, and tell me that they laugh about my fake sickness. That I am the big joke in their house. It almost brought me to my knees. I know she has not been encouraging me through it, but I did not realize she was reading everything I wrote on Facebook and laughing about it.

It was pretty horrible, but I had to remove her out of my life, the sad thing is she is my sister, and I love her.

I am lucky that my other sister told her off, at the point I was to upset to, but it was a very difficult time.

My question is how many people have went through this? I finally emailed her and told her I never asked her for anything, and I don't have to prove myself to anyone.


justme

I did put in on my facebook about the spoon theory, and the trailor of under our skin, I guess I can't change some peoples minds. It just takes to much energy out of me.

I didn't realize my disease was a joke, but if she was sick, I would do whatever I could to help her.

It's just sad to me.

justme

I'm so sorry you have this going on...

Don't let anyone get you down, even if it's a family member.

Not everyone has an empathic character, I've learned that through the years. It's horrible that after a long battle for recognition, then finally getting treatment and not getting any help from a close family member.

I know it sounds harsh, but we have a saying in my language (I don't know if it's the same in English): one does not choose your family... sad but true...

You answered in a good, calm way, that's difficult in situations like that... I hope it'll make her think about it...

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My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry that you have experienced this and so sorry that your sister has not stood by your side to support you during this exceptional time of need. This is a hard enough journey without adding such factors on top of it.

I have not experienced anything near this. The annoying thing for me was my father being 'convinced' that my problems were stress, anxiety or depression. No matter what my symptoms were, he would offer relaxation exercises as a solution. I already went through a psychological work up that 'confirmed' that my symptoms were not psycologically or stress induced, and yet he would tell family and strangers alike that I was going through a depression. He didn't believe otherwise until I finally got my IGENEX results.

This situation heavily bothered me. Not only did I have to convince doctor's that something was physically wrong, but I also had to convince my father. At the same time, I knew that he was doing it because he cared. He was scared and he wanted a solution for me. He knows depression and he was trying to help by offering solutions that helped him in his darkest time of need. Also, talking (even to strangers) is his way of relieving stress. I support him in finding ways to meet his need to help and to relieve his stress. I am lucky to have him.

I wish I had some words to offer you comfort. May I say that your extended family here does believe you and support you. We are here to listen, to cheer you on and to give any words of support that we can. But I am sure that you already know this. In the mean time, I will say a prayer for healing in your relationship with your sister.

Oh Justme, I am really sorry... I think you are doing the right thing by keeping your distance. If you've tried to educate her, and she won't even entertain the idea that you are sick, then that is detrimental to your healing. As you know, stress makes everything worse.

I hope you take some comfort in knowing that you did not do anything wrong. Her behavior is appalling. I hope she realizes this soon and tries to make amends.

We are here for you :)

Thank you Traveler .

It's was just difficult for me to handle, and I let it get to me today. I know that stress makes the Lyme symptoms worse, so I need to learn how to let it go.

I have my husband , my kids and two sisters in my family that stand by me. I am very grateful for the Lyme community, and everyone on this site, including you for helping me along the way. At times I don't know what I would do without this site.


justme

I totally understand you Justme. I have lost all my family to lymes. My brothers and sisters are all in the medical field and they say it is not true and more of a mental illness!! I haven't talked to my bothers and sister for about 2 years. If they see me or my husband they act like I'm not there. It is terrible. But I have had to learn that for my health I have to stay away from them anyone else that is negative because of the stress and what it does to my lymes. It is sad that the very people that you thought loved you are the most critical.  the people that care and surround yourself with them. It would be interesting I often think what would they do if all the sudden they get lymes!...................shame on our family members and medical people who treat us with such disrespect. Hang in there we understand and this website is a blessing........I care with many others.

Justme, I am sorry you are dealing with her lack of understanding, knowledge, and empathy. I feel for all of you who are going through this with family. It makes me think that maybe there are other issues they are dealing with. It's hard to understand why anyone, let alone family, could be so insensitive. Even if I thought the problems were psychological , I would still want to show how much I cared and be open-minded. My wonderful, Lyme diagnosed, husband does not have that problem because he was diagnosed with ALS with obvious physical symptoms to prove his illness. I, on the other hand, have suffered from what they call 'Clinical Depression' and I have in the past heard the typical "just get over it" or "just relax, you'll feel better if you don't stress out". Certainly it helps not to stress out, but you don't 'just get over it'. It's a real illness, just like Lyme is..and so many with Lyme - like my husband - also suffer from depression. I hope and pray that your sister will come to see that it is what it is. It certainly is no laughing matter. Cyber hugs to all.

Yuck JustMe. I'm in a negative mood today and I really would like to say pretty nasty stuff about your "sister". Not only is she a terrible sister, but she's a crappy human being and has mental issues. What normal person would ever write such an email?? What is her point? If she doesn't believe you, fine but she should keep her trap shut.

As other posters have said, even if I thought my sister was making up a psychosomatic illness, I'd still be sympathetic. If you were my friend I would tell you to not ever talk to her again. Punish her for the rest of her life for it. If you can't count on her in a crisis, you'll never be able to count on her. As Mariel said, "we don't choose our families." But we CAN choose people to be in our lives that are caring and supportive--a surrogate family! I'm sorry this had to happen to you. It doesn't help with your stress. But know that we believe you and all think your sister is, well I don't think it has to be said. She's a lousy human being and I'll leave it at that.

I know as a Catholic I should say "I'll pray for her"-- but I've never been a great Catholic. I'm working on it. If I should become so enlightened, I'll let you all know.

Don't quit trying, Justme! Keep at it!! Don't allow the stress that one thoughtless, empty human brought to you, bring you down! You can do this!!!

I had two daughters-in-law that didn't believe me, and of course, my sons wouldn't argue with them. We didn't talk for what was a long time for me (over a year). I had to just keep pushing those thoughts of them out of my mind and concentrate on what I did have going for me - a wonderful, supportive hubby, one daughter and a good doc that really cared.

Hang in there, we are here if you need to vent further to get it all out, or anything else we might be able to help with!

Justme,

Sorry your sister isn't supportive.  My sister is a nurse and she and the rest of the family choose to ignore that I have lyme.  If I was having a bad day and mentioned to my Mom that I was in a lot of pain she would say "what from" and I would say the lyme and she would just say "oh".  It's been one of the hardest things I've gone through with this disease.  Take Care, KO

I think it bad enough that we have to prove to our doctors, now it's like we have to prove to our family's as well.

I am getting to the point I really don't care what my family thinks of me, if they want to pay my bills maybe they can tell me what to do.

Thank you all for your help.

justme

I really don't know what to say.I find your words heartbreaking.

I have always found comfort and support from my children and they openly show delight at every sign of progress.

I count myself very lucky when I read how some people here are being treated by family members.

Without the love of my children and "true" friends, together with the wonderful and caring support here,I don't think I would have had the strength to make it through my darkest days.

Don't we have enough to bear? Is expecting understanding and compassion from our nearest and dearest really to much to ask ?

I think not............and wish you all better days.

Tickled