Hi Living-free,
It was ill for more than 17 years when I was diagnosed, and I never thought that the diagnosis itself would have such an impact on me...
It literally took me months to get rid of the extreme anger and lost feeling. I was relieved I finally had an answer that explained all those difficult years, but at the same time I was sooooo angry with everything (drs, people around me that never believed me, myself for doubting myself sometimes, and much more), I would cry like a child. Felt so lost...
I think of it as some kind of a grieving process. It's better now, I got through that period.
Then there is the consequence of treatment that is darn hard on your system: the herxing, and the flaring, the side effects of the medication. Don't forget that this disease is very hard, mentally: the personality changes, the depression, the anxiety. It's a lot to handle.
But we are resilient, we can take a huge amount of stress and bounce back...
I can't count the times I was soooo lost, feeling that I reached a place beyond my limits, crying in the shower, thinking 'this is it, this is the moment I'm loosing it, this is a nervous breakdown', but up until now, I managed to bounce back each time...
Try to go day by day, there is no possibility of hurrying things. Listen to your body, it tells you a lot...
Don't loose hope, we're here when thing get bad, this forum has been of such enormous value to me... please write when you feel you can't cope anymore...
MarieLS