HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

End of the rope

Support Forums
>
Lyme Disease
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
1 23
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 12/13/2013 4:00 PM (GMT 0)
dvlsfan,
You haven't been looking for those who have recovered! I'm one, and there have been a couple other older members that have come back to tell their stories too!

And why on earth would you worry about sticking to a diet that you don't need?

Or worry about something that you likely don't have?
You said, "I fixate myself on the worst of everything because I don't want to suffer."

Yet that is exactly what you are doing to yourself - making yourself suffer, and quite a bit by what you say in your posts. This fixation is what's hurting you, not Lyme disease.

Please find something else to focus on - like a hobby and your GF. You need to concentrate on getting the tumor and low T taken care of, since those are likely what are causing your symptoms.
Posted 12/13/2013 7:44 PM (GMT 0)
I'm still trying to stay calm. I have been getting a warm feeling on and off over my chest by my heart. Hoping it is just the anxiety.

I need to get it under control. Then I read the Lyme carditis article thinking something is going to happen.

I have multiple bands on my Lyme test cdc positive but I still haven't gotten an answer from anyone on here if (since I had it when I was a kid, didn't have the rash but my knee blew up inflamed and got treated when I was a kid) that it could still be eradicated and those bands will always test reactive?

And what and igg igm ab of 4.1 is?

Can't get my mind to believe I will be ok.
Posted 12/13/2013 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
Everyone suffers in one way or another sometime during their lives, so you can't expect smooth sailing the whole way. I know it's hard to cope with at your age, but just try to change your focus some at least, because the constant worrying will have a negative effect on your health. Can your folks help you out with the financial part?

My daughter would like to get her degree too, but she can't yet and she takes it in stride. She had a long time where her brain function was way off, and she has had daily headaches and several other symptoms, but she found things to take her mind off of it so she didn't get too depressed. This was before anyone even thought about Lyme disease, so she has been through a lot in her (almost) 26 years. She was around 10 when we noticed something wasn't right and she just got diagnosed 2 or 3 years ago. So you aren't alone in your health journey.
Posted 12/13/2013 8:21 PM (GMT 0)
Hi dvlsfan,

Eradication is a term I don't like to associate with lyme. When someone gets strep throat and it resolves - the bacteria is still there, technically - though the infection is gone. It is not to say that eradication is impossible but I think highly improbable.

HOWEVER and I stress a big HOWEVER - I do think that the bulk of folks diagnosed with lyme recover and do NOT relapse. If that were not the case this forum would have way more people on it for years and years. And I've looked and emailed people that were on here years ago and 90% of the time they are unaffected from lyme.

IgM ab of 4.1 is high. That is your antibody titer (quanitity levels) It means you have a high level of antibodies circulating - which hey - that is a good thing since that is your immunity responding.

I agree with Trav, you really need to find a hobby or something that will take your mind off of your health. Some days, many days - I really did not want to leave the house. It was so hard - but my husband dragged me. I thank him for it now and it did always make me feel better even when I was tired afterwards. It really helped distract my mind also from "lyme, lyme, lyme"

~beth
Posted 12/13/2013 9:57 PM (GMT 0)
I need to join a gym or something. When I'm with my friends I mope around. I can't tell them about what's going on.

My girlfriend knows about the pit tumor. I can't tell her about the Lyme scare. She is so stressed with finals I can't distract her with my worry.

I just can't do it. Everything about Lyme is in the back of my head. Carditis death etc. not the remission stories. I'm such a mess.
Posted 12/14/2013 2:57 PM (GMT 0)
I can't do this. The worry is just too much :( went on another forum and read Lyme obituaries. Idk how I can stop this. I want to just cry.

Post Edited (dvlsfan30) : 12/14/2013 8:39:53 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/14/2013 4:41 PM (GMT 0)
You have to quit setting yourself up for the anxiety. Instead of going to a forum and reading about those who are very ill or have died from Lyme, just don't go there! Get up and go do something else - almost anything else that won't lead you into more anxiety!

This is called self control. You really do sound as if you should be seeing a counselor or someone else that can help you control this.
Posted 12/14/2013 6:39 PM (GMT 0)
Have you tried "oil pulling" for your tooth pain? It seems you like to research things (I'm the same way) so, I'll just throw out the basics here.... Oil pulling is done with light olive oil, sesame oil, or sunflower oil.... you put roughly a tablespoon in your mouth and swish it around and in-between your teeth for 15-20 minutes. Spit it out in the toilet (it may clog sink pipes) and then brush your teeth. The oil is touted to kill bacteria between the teeth and down in the gum pockets where toothbrushes and floss can't reach.

For me, oil pulling dramatically decreased my tooth pain. And it dramatically reduced further cavities. I recall my dentist saying, "....whatever you're doing, keep doing it...."

A quick google search on "oil pulling" or "oil pulling lyme" will get you tons of info to read through.
Posted 12/14/2013 9:08 PM (GMT 0)
dvlsfan, are you still seeing the same therapist as you were last April?  If you are, I suggest that you change therapists as there are good ones and not so good...    In my opinion, you are making yourself sick and you really need help with the aid of a therapist.  I also suggest that you post on the anxiety forum since it appears you are really suffering from that in a big way.

I wish you the best,

Denise

Posted 12/14/2013 10:07 PM (GMT 0)
And BTW - we are NOT trying to run you off! We are only concerned for what you are really dealing with. We aren't even saying that it isn't Lyme, but that you get your anxiety under control as that will 'color' everything you see/feel. We deal with anxiety too, that's how we know.
Posted 12/16/2013 2:58 PM (GMT 0)
i am trying to keep my mind clear. i am going to go see a different therapist hopefully in the next couple days.

just feel so low. get worked up have a palp or a warm feeling over heart and fear the worst.

just sucks that all these symptoms overlap, lyme, macro adenoma (pit tumor prolactinoma) and anxiety all overlap.

so scared of living in NY with all these ticks. wish i could pack everything up my family and my gf and go to an island. probably wouldn't have met my soulmate though if i was somewhere else.

just want to be ok so we can have a nice life together. i want to grow old with her.
Posted 12/18/2013 1:48 AM (GMT 0)
Thought today was a good day. Woke up jumped out of bed and noticed my back had a slight ache hoping from the bad nights of sleep from my worry.

Chest felt great and then fell back into my worry. Went back and read article about powassan in dutchess county. The article was about a 17 year old boy who passed sadly in august about two towns over.

Article also said that the sample test showed about 1 percent of ticks in our county and a few county's below and above ours may have powassan. Not necessarily encephalitis once but some areas may have 6 percent of the infected ticks may carry it.

I am afraid to leave the house. I want to pack up my stuff and drive away but that is not financially or reasonably responsible. I want to take my family and my gf with me.

It sucks. It really does thinking like this. I check myself for ticks every night and advice my family to as well. I'm going to make sure they all use spray with feet once the cold weather dies down and people are outside

I just lay down and worry. My gf has a dog who has tick medicine etc and I'm sure my friends do as well but this worry is ruining my life. She comes home tomorrow and I'm afraid to sit in her house or bed yet alone my friends as well.

Then all my issues. It never ends
Posted 12/18/2013 2:03 AM (GMT 0)
"Chest felt great and then fell back into my worry. (*right here is where you went wrong*) Went back and read article about powassan in dutchess county."

You are trying to get yourself to stop this worry, so you must take control. Why would you even consider reading more about these things that make you worry so much?

You know, I've had Lyme and other co-infections for 40 years. It did nearly kill me, yet I refuse to allow it to keep me from being outside gardening, playing with my grandsons and dogs, even keeping livestock.

Your worry will not end itself, you must take control of it. Did you ever get in to see the new therapist? Are they helping you?
Posted 12/20/2013 6:53 PM (GMT 0)
trying to keep calm

now there might be a mold issue in my house.

they are going to come check out the house.

im having panic attacks thinking im dying now that i may have mold in me for years? i read the issues that mold can cause? or some peoples immune system is able to rid of it regularly?

nobody has had any health issues beside my mom with breast cancer which now my grandmother has, guessing my mom was suseptible to the gene, just my grandmother got it later?

what can i do to detox and make sure it helps? i saw heart issues, asthma etc?

help please. will i be ok? ready to run away for a while
Posted 12/20/2013 8:11 PM (GMT 0)
im also worried for my two brothers and my mom

we have grown up in this house.

nobody seems to have any health issues. i just cant do this

can i prevent any health issues if i have had mold in me? i read about heart issues kidney liver etc


im crying right now
Posted 12/20/2013 8:22 PM (GMT 0)
You really have to stop doing this to yourself, dvlsfan. Isn't there someone that you can call, or go see your therapist. You need more help than can be provided on this or any other forum in dealing with these irrational fears.

Do you really have many symptoms of mold illness? Is this truly something you should be concentrating on?
Posted 12/20/2013 8:53 PM (GMT 0)
I am sorry for doing this on the forum and as well as myself and family.

None of us really have symptoms or mold toxicity. But we have had a couple leaky pipes and our basement floods. It's a cement basement. The houses in our area have this type of basement with floor pumps.

There is a bit of mold in one of the bathrooms and I'm guessing where the water has overflowed in between the walls has mold.

I will just leave it at these couple questions. My family has a pretty strong immune system. Could it be that our immune system provides the antibodies to rid the toxins if inhaled? And if there is a lot more mold. And we start detoxing with some natural supplements and other stuff. Could I be ok?

I read the Long term health effects. The heart issues etc. I just don't want this to happen. We have lived many years in this house and I don want to think about what is behind the walls we may have been breathing in.

I'm just so scared for my life right now on top of this mold scare.
Posted 12/21/2013 2:22 AM (GMT 0)
There are many people experiencing symptoms like and unlike yours. But all are dealing with Lyme Disease. While we did not ask for it, we have it, and we can get through and past it. Just maybe not in the time we would like.

Hang in there and know many others have gotten past rough times. I'm in a rough time now, but I believe I will get past this, and so will you.

Your mom is in shambles because she loves you - reason enough to keep plugging along and looking for answers. Understand how you feel, but I know the answer is out there somewhere. You will find it.
Posted 12/21/2013 6:17 AM (GMT 0)
My impression is that you have separation anxiety issues relating to your relationship with your girlfriend, your "soul mate." What is your greatest fear?

Remember what you focus on grows and at the root of anxiety is fear.
Posted 12/21/2013 7:12 PM (GMT 0)
i am trying to calm myself down. just want to be ok thats all. i want to live a happy life

i saw a ll id today while i wait for another llmd and she is running some co infection tests and is going to get me going on a treatment regardless because i had lyme before and the test is for the antibodies. she also said (which i already know, which is why i have been scared, that my symptoms overlap so its best to treat regardless)

she said i am going to be ok. its just so hard for me to believe. i want to be ok. i dont want any major ailments. i wonder if i will be able to live a happy life and marry my love.

it sucks because the anxiety is so bad. my girlfriend is home from school and i just hate these thoughts in my head when she is sleeping on my shoulder or cuddled up telling me how much she loves me.

i read too much bad like the doctor said. i read too much in general because only few people come back to tell that they are back to a normal life. i read so much into the bad problems.

i just hate reading bacteria resistance and coming back etc.. idk why i do this to myself but i just feel so as if i wont get to start my career yet alone finish school. i am already behind because of anxiety keeping me from sitting down and doing the work.

i can go on but i will stop for now.
Posted 12/21/2013 7:25 PM (GMT 0)
dvlsfan, I am surprised with your mother being a nurse, that you are not in psychiatric treatment.  That is where you need to be right now.

You can not get better from anything as long as you are having these obsessive and negative thoughts.

Find a good psychiatrist and get the help you need.

I wish you the best,

Denise

Posted 12/29/2013 5:06 PM (GMT 0)
well heres an update

i actually had a great christmas eve and christmas with family and my girlfriend

i had been symptom free for a few days. my mind was clear and feeling great.

had a really stressful day yesterday at work and the annoyance of being there had brought back some thoughts. and then what do you know, i started having hot feelings in my chest from anxiety and a headache from being so mad at everyone.

so of course i thought the worst and ended up waking up in the middle of the night having an anxiety attack thinking something was wrong with my heart. and i am back to having some teeth pain. hopefully from clenching in my sleep from the anxiety.

the only thing i am currently taking is the lexapro and cabergoline still. waiting for blood work on co infections before i start any treatment incase it is lyme.

i did not follow any dietary restrictions and had a great holiday. only time i was tired was from the long days of work catering for the holiday.

trying to ease my mind and see if it all is really just stress related and the macroadenoma.

staying hopeful. and am going to go see a new therapist soon. dont want to think about the bad stories i have read, or think about bad things happening to me.
Posted 12/29/2013 7:09 PM (GMT 0)
That sounds much better! I'm glad you enjoyed the holidays and felt good. It sounds like you handled the stress better. You might try a mouth guard in case you're grinding your teeth at night. You can get them at department stores or drug stores.

Hang onto that hope and continue to not think about the bad stories. Those stories aren't you.

Have a good day!
Posted 1/5/2014 9:33 PM (GMT 0)
dont think i can take this anymore

just have no hope

constantly worrying about the lyme, and ticks crawling on me at night

look in the mirror and think that im losing my teeth and that i have gum disease at 24. when i floss it looks like the floss can go up my gum to the side of my teeth into the gum yet the dentist said my gums are fine.

worrying if i lose my teeth i wont be able to get impants and then all the negatives of having dentures.

it never ends for me. plus the pit growth, tuesday is my next appt to see if the medication has made any improvements on my prolactin

slighty low vitamin d.


scared for my heart and my health. never thought at this age i would want to give up.

i just have the mind set that i wont be ok.

went to a wedding on nye. made me look at my gf and think of a great wedding but i feel i wont get there.

she is the sweetest thing. knows about my pit tumor but not much about ld in general. i dont want to scare her.

just want to be ok. i pray everyday to just make it to 40 at least. i still read so much bad. i dont want to live in pain.

Post Edited (dvlsfan30) : 1/5/2014 2:38:46 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 1/5/2014 11:18 PM (GMT 0)
It still sounds like to me that you need a better therapist if you are still being controlled by these types of thoughts, Dvlsfan. You need more help that you are getting.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
123