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Posted 5/20/2014 7:19 PM (GMT 0)
I have a very supporting, understanding husband. He is trying to keep our heads above water financially...as well as take care of most of the house/yard chores.
But I think it's getting to be a bit much for him, too.

Today, my son called from Hawaii (on vacation) and after the phone call I got teary...because if i wasn't so ill, we would have gone with...but a) I'm not well enough to enjoy a holiday and b) because I haven't hardly worked for over a year now, we couldn't afford a vacation like that)

Then, my husband said "You've got to hurry up and get better...so you can get back to work...so we can have a life again. Why aren't you taking the Cat's Claw yet? Why are you doing this so slowly".

I just walked away and went into the bedroom and sobbed. I couldn't even defend myself.

A few minutes later, he came to me and hugged me and apologized...and said that he just wants his wife back.

All this happened about 10 minutes before he had to leave for work.

I just needed to get this off my chest. Even the most loving, supportive husbands/boyfriends have their moments, too. This disease affects everyone in our lives.
Posted 5/20/2014 7:48 PM (GMT 0)
I think our partners suffer a lot too... mine has to deal with all of my anger and my nagging...

I'm this very independant person, don't want help from anyone and now I need to ask for help, only that gets me irritated...

My husband is starting to miss doing fun things together I think... we want to go on a citytrip to London, but we can't. It's a present from my dad for our past wedding anniversary.
I was sick before, but before treatment I could still do short trips and visit things. We would just jump into the car and drive those few hours to Paris, or somewhere in Germany, or short-by trips. Last 2 years nothing at all.

It's good though that you guys are communicating well (even if it is after some kind of outburst) :-)
Posted 5/20/2014 7:58 PM (GMT 0)
I hear you. I am not even That debilitated- but I still feel debilitated. And my husband is the kindest man. But he has to shoulder a lot more while I am ill, child care etc and sometimes he resents it. Also, he is a bit stoic abou illness so tends to not be as mushy compassionate as I want- but just last night I talked to him abot it and today he was kinder! Good luck.It is all so hard
Posted 5/20/2014 8:11 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, Girlie. My husband has been dealing with my sickness for 6 years. It definately has taken a toll on him. He is in limbo, too. He loves being with me but I have to insist he do things by himself. My daughter has been a big help to get him out of the house to enjoy some excitement. Such a sad state of affairs, for sure.
I do want to state that I have not had Lyme's disease and the co-infections for 6 years. It all started when I took 2 doses of Levaquin in 2008 which I believe brought out the dormant LD. I have been treating for a little over 1 1/2 years.

Patty
Posted 5/20/2014 8:27 PM (GMT 0)
MarieLS - What you said about asking for help...I can relate to that. I think what's most difficult for my husband is that he has been the one who has injured himself or been sick...and I have been the healthy one...and have had to take care of him on several occasions. And now the roles are reversed...I think deep down he is frightened. He's so used to this strong, confident, healthy lady...who is now scared, sad, and weakened. He would never talk about his emotions to anyone but me...and I think he doesn't want to tell me he's scared or worried as he doesn't want me to worry more. So, for the most part he keeps it inside...

Summer16 - my husband loves to do stuff with me, too... when he goes grocery shopping by himself...I know he longs for his companion. We are best friends...and he just longs for our life back.

Katebirch - I think our men are stoic because they feel that's their role in life...to be strong. And they'd rather express anger, then sadness.

Having said that - I couldn't imagine being here without my husband, because he really is behind me 100% - but it's taking a toll on him, too.
Posted 5/20/2014 10:16 PM (GMT 0)
Would hubbies consider a support group? Caretakers need support, too.
Posted 5/20/2014 10:29 PM (GMT 0)
soscared: That's a great idea...but I know my husband wouldn't participate...he just bottles it up inside. He wouldn't even consider showing anyone else his feelings. Too bad, really, because the support would be good for him.
Posted 5/20/2014 11:33 PM (GMT 0)
It's so hard to understand Lyme and Chronic illness if you don't have it.

My ex-bf was a total sh--h---, said he didn't believe in chronic lyme, and was "on the side of science." He knew something was wrong, but kept being crappy anyway, so I finally broke up with him.

Sounds like your husband is a good bit more supportive. Has he been to the LLMD with you? Have you printed out one of those sheets for friends and relatives?

Margaret
Posted 5/20/2014 11:46 PM (GMT 0)
Margaret - Im in BC Canada - no LLMD here. I am going to a ND next week who is somewhat literate in Lyme disease and she can prescribe antibiotics. There is a LLND about 2 hours away that I may see eventually. I am still waiting for test results (the one covered under our medical plan) - going on 4 weeks now so I may just decide to do the Igenex testing when I see the ND next week.
My hubby is on board with lyme disease diagnosis. He is very disenchanted with the medical system and he keeps telling me that the body wants to heal and Im strong and he believes I will beat this.
He was just having a bad moment earlier.
He just came home on his dinner break to tell me again that hes sorry for what he said earlier - bless his heart - it takes his entire dinner break to drive here and drive back.
Posted 5/21/2014 12:34 AM (GMT 0)
That's so sweet that he took the time to come home to apologize! wow. My hubby has been pretty

supportive overall. I think they just want us to return back to our "normal" selves. If only we could just

wave a wand! I wish... Good luck with next week. I can't wait to hear what your ND says.
Posted 5/21/2014 1:06 AM (GMT 0)
Leilex - You've had your test done now, right? When do you get the results?
Posted 5/21/2014 1:16 AM (GMT 0)
Yes, finally!! I mailed them off myself at FEDEX today. I have no clue about the turnaround time :/ I'm going to try to not think about it. HA! Like that's gonna happen right? I'll post it for sure though. I always think it's gonna come back negative though. Not to be a downer, I just feel so alone with this sickness and I haven't had an answer for 6 years. So why should I get one now? *sigh*
Posted 5/21/2014 1:41 AM (GMT 0)
Girlie, are you willing to fly anywhere? It might be worth it for a good LLMD. I can't believe there are no LLMDs in BC!! What about Oregon or Washington? I know for a fact there are LLMDs in Oregon.

What a great hubby! Can you clone him? Just kidding :)

Margaret
Posted 5/21/2014 2:38 AM (GMT 0)
Actually, there is an MD in Vancouver I believe who treats Lyme, using the Marshal Protocol...and I'm not sure I want to go that route.

But so far other than him, I've only been told about ND's - apparently there is a very good LLND in Richmond, BC (ferry ride and drive for me), which I will do if need be.

I will start closer to home...and then venture further..if I need to.
My husband said to me today...."Don't worry about the money...if we have to we'll sell the house".
That makes me cry because we shouldn't have to...we should be able to get proper treatment here. If I wasn't so sad...I'd be angry. cry
Posted 5/21/2014 2:56 AM (GMT 0)
Aw, that is a tough one to hear.... don't think about that though. just take things one day at a time.

I think you've got the right idea about starting close to home. Everything will be ok in the end. It has to right?

{hugs}
Posted 5/21/2014 6:00 AM (GMT 0)
Of course it effcts the ones we love and love us.Ever had your little pet get sick,tears you up to see them ill.It the same forva spouse to see there loved one suffer..Most would say lord.put it on me. He loves but it hurts him to.see you sick. peace be with you,wayne
Posted 5/21/2014 6:07 AM (GMT 0)
Hey came back in to hug you, he just really wants to see you better, and it probably really hurts him that youre sick. Sounds like he cares.
Posted 5/21/2014 11:24 AM (GMT 0)
Sounds like he really cares Girlie...

Just go day by day, you could suddenly get better, don't think too much about what might happen in the future.

Take care,
M
Posted 5/21/2014 3:45 PM (GMT 0)
thanks everyone!
I know I am very lucky to have such a supportive, devoted husband...but I worry about him (when i'm not worrying about me!) because he is stressed, too. I worry because I know stress is hard on the body - I don't want him getting sick, too.
He told me last night that he has a lot of tools he can sell to free up some extra cash. He told me that even when I start feeling better, he wants me to stay off work for a while and keep my stress level low.
He said none of his "stuff" means anything to him...and he'll gladly part with it.
Boy, I can't wait until I'm better - I so want to make it up to him!!! I feel like I'm a dead weight now...bringing us down.
Posted 5/21/2014 4:42 PM (GMT 0)
What a sweet guy you have. A support group for husbands with sick wives would be good for them.

I think I was ill before my hubby and I got married, but not to the point of it taking over my life at that time. After we were married I went downhill fast, but had no idea what was wrong. I looked fine, so nobody believed I was ill, not even my husband, until one spring where I didn't dive into gardening like usual. He knew something wasn't right when I went into the summer without doing anything outside. Poor guy would come home to find me laying on the couch, with dirty dishes in the kitchen and no dinner going. He thought he had really misread me! MDs wouldn't believe that I was sick either, so I turned to alternative medicine and got better, even though I was never diagnosed. It has just been the past few years that I learned it was Lyme disease, just going by all the symptoms I had. So any way, my husband stuck by me then and now I have it again, only nowhere near as bad, so the poor guy is stuck with 2 Lymies, but he's very supportive. He's involved with his church and that gives him a break. He's semi retired now too, which helps as well. It makes such a difference to have supportive family.
Posted 5/21/2014 4:59 PM (GMT 0)
GardenPeace - What protocol did you use? and how long were you on it before you felt better?
How long did your wellness last before you got sick again?

You may have answered all these on different posts...but I'm finding it hard to remember who did what, etc. so many different stories and treatments.

I'm not doing much....My husband is lucky to come home to a meal at the end of his work day....all I have been doing is laundry, the odd meal, and dishes. I force myself to meet up with friends - but can't invite them over - the place is too messy. I've always taken pride in having my house look nice....so it sucks.

spring/Summer is my favorite time of year - but I see it's sunny outside and i have no desire to go out. Hoping the protocol I am on will just even give me a little relief ...for me it's mostly the pain and the chills/vibrations throughout the body.
Posted 5/21/2014 5:38 PM (GMT 0)
It is a tough road girlie. I was so upset and it felt sometimes like things between the hubby and I were falling apart. He didn't understand why I was so sick and why it took so long to get better. We did start communicating better and now things are awesome. I'm healed and we go out and do things all the time.
It will get better and so will you! Its great that you have such a supportive hubby!

Please try not to worry too much about not getting chores done #1 priority right now is to take care of yourself missy! You are soooo new to treatment. Honestly after about two months of treatment I wasn't 'great' but I was back to doing a lot of chores, making meals etc. so hang in there!

~beth
Posted 5/21/2014 5:48 PM (GMT 0)
I ended up going to a classical homeopath and I was so far down that I had no place to go but up. I had my life back after about 6 months. It's not something you can do on your own, though.

It's based on the totality of your own symptoms and a good homeopath will be able to choose the correct remedies in the right order to bring about healing. Good classical homeopaths are hard to find these days, unfortunately.

That was close to 30 years ago and I think some symptoms started showing up after going through some stressful times, but still nothing like I had back then. I just went through 4 tough years, so I'm worse this year, but I think most of that is due to my adrenals and thyroid being off from the stress, so it's taking me a while to move ahead again. My original homeopath is teaching in AZ now, so I don't have access to him unless I go there for the first appointment, then use skype after that. I haven't found one as good as him yet.

One thing I should mention is that homeopathy a seperate modality and naturopathy covers many modalities. The 2 are often confused.
Posted 5/21/2014 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, Homeopathy is very different from just using natural herbs, etc.
I know homeopathy uses micrometers of substances to stimultate your body to heal...and most naturopathic doctors don't know enough about it...to effectively prescribe it. I also wouldn't go to a naturopathic doctor for acupuncture - as it is a discipline that takes a lot of knowledge, etc. to do.
The naturopathic Dr. in my home town is awful. She's just a money grabber - and pushes hundreds of dollars of supplements. But, we have one in the next town that people rave about...so that's who I am seeing next week to discuss the Igenex testing. She can prescribe abx, but I'm not sure if she will if I don't get a positive Igenex test. I'll discuss that with her when I see her.
There is starting to be more awareness about Lyme here in BC, Canada, but it's very slow. ND's are willing to do long-term abx, but I don't know if any will based on a clinical diagnosis only.

I've given up on the "free" lyme test that I had done 4 weeks ago...don't know what's taking them so long...they're just going to write "negative" on it anyway ...lol
Posted 5/21/2014 6:12 PM (GMT 0)
I'm glad you already have an understanding of homeopathy. I think everyone who goes to a naturopathic college learns the basics of it, but not many take it on since it takes a lot of studying to be good at it.

There is a husband and wife in Seattle (part of the year) who are considered very good homeopaths. I went to her once and I didn't care for her way of prescribing or the fact that she stopped to take her vitamins and a little later, stopped to make an appt. with her doctor during my time. Then there was a power outage. So I didn't feel she spent enough time with me to get the right remedy. We had a personality clash too. She was trained by a homeopath in India and they do it differently there. I don't know if her husband had the same training or not. My husband and sister-in-law were helped a lot by her though.

Let us know how your appt. with the other naturopath goes.
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