Reverse Symptomatology - last symptom = crying spells

ok, so, I actually feel physically fine at this point except for leftover muscle twitches. It is amazing. My Dr. told me that it looks like I experienced healing thru reverse symptomatology where the symptoms went away in order of last to first. And the very first symptom I had was anxiety/depression. Well, I think its back bc I am crying like 3-4 times a day. But I am not crying out of nowhere, I keep digging and digging into my past with all of the things I did wrong and kicking myself for it. "If I had done this, maybe this would have been better....." - you know the story. I CAN'T STOP!! Holy cow, and its mostly about my relationship with my husband. We are so close and intimate right now, its unreal. And I keep asking myself why the heck couldn't we have been this close yrs ago? I know the kids, work, household chores, things get in the way. And we barely had time for eachother so we grew apart. But why did Lyme have to bring us back together? Why couldn't I have done this 5 yrs ago?? I just feel like I was always the one who was "too busy" bc I had 10,000 things to do in a day. I feel like part of our youth was lost. I just can't shake this. He went out a lot and drank a lot and now I am blaming myself for it. I never saw it this way before. He keeps saying how wonderful I am now, that I am a different person (yes, lyme changed me in a good way - but I couldn't have been that bad before!). So after all of the talks we had, last week was the first week he didn't go out after a meeting, and came home to me. Its almost like we have fallen in love again, but im crying bc I cant understand how we fell out of love in the first place!! I just needed to get this out, and maybe someone can say something uplifting, bc I don't want to be depressed right now if I am literally almost at the end of the tunnel with lyme and my husband is thrilled with how I have been!!! Thanks in advance for the support!

Amazing....

Remember, You do not have any control of your past. The only thing you can control is the present. Live in it!

You are both where you need to be at this very moment. All of your past has built up to this moment. And what a beautiful time it is! It's nothing short of a miracle in my book. So go with it.

Learn from your past. You say you wasted time in the past. Don't repeat it again by reliving your past. It sounds like you two have a lot of joy to share. It's not in the distant future. You are almost healed and what a treasure that is!

I know Lyme does screwy things to the brain chemistry. But try to focus on your love for one another. It will bring you into the light. Do not think of yesterday.

Oh my goodness! That is such a beautiful story. What a wonder true love is. And that's amazing that you'd go through it again. Just to reach this point.

I do not believe in coincidences in life. Things happen for a reason. My spouse and I have been married 11 years. We went through a time where we almost divorced, but we decided to stick it out. Now, I can't imagine my life without him.

In a way, I am thankful for the tribulation because it brought us to a wonderful place in our marriage. and I wouldn't change it for the world. As terrible as it was.

It sounds like the same thing for you. Falling in love is so sweet. Relish it!

Chapelle, our brains have been ravaged by this disease. It takes a long time for the nerves to heal. Do you think that the emotions you are experiencing may be because of this damage? I would say that most of the time the ups and downs we experience have nothing to do with our personality or character and everything to do with the disease. I had several brain chemistry tests done and I am taking Serenity that dr. Sponaugle developed. It really helps me. Just knowing that it's not me but the screwed up chemicals in my brain is a huge relief. This is the company that also does the tests and you can get supplements there that will help you heal your brain. Also, how is your progesterone? If it's too low (under 80) your brain will not heal.

https://www.neurorelief.com/index.php?p=testing

I am not connected to this company.

Are you sure it's not toxicity from the doxy or too much of a die off that your brain can't handle. I stopped the abx and switched to silver and haven't cried in days. I was sobbing 24/7 for months.

After what I have been through and after the progress I have seen and the labs they did I swear it's brain chemistry. I used to have these panic thoughts that I thought was me. Now if I get anxious I simply take Serenity and it goes away. My labs are nowhere near normal so I know it is not me. Lyme changes brain chemistry and we are not in charge of our thought the way we think we are.

Pharmasan Labs do the testing. You may also want to look at mold because molds will make you feel the same way. I got mine done at Realtime Labs:

http://www.realtimelab.com/healthcare-mold-and-mycotoxin-information

neuroscience:

https://www.neurorelief.com/index.php?p=cms&cid=208&pid=0

good luck!

Chapelle,

sorry you're feeling anxious and sad, and have the "what if's"

not to minimize it at all, but the good news is maybe you are really, really close to being done with lyme, and hopefully like the other symptoms that left, this anxiety/depression stuff will leave soon too.

The serenity sounds interesting; maybe this is something that will make a difference for you. I'm going to look into for my son too. Although I don't notice it too often every once in awhile he will say out of the blue, "I'm sad".

Wishing you peace despite this.

Missyouall, there is Serene by Neuroscience and Serenity by dr. Sponaugle. You get Serenity at dr. Sponaugle website. I have been on it for about 2 months now. Yes, it really works. I had a really stressful day two days ago and took 3 instead of 2 and was much better. I know it helps you with serotonin and dopamine levels. what exactly it does I don't know all I know it really helps me when this disease gets the best of me emotionally. Good luck!

Fantastic that you're feeling better physically, that's a huge start considering what you've been through. Now, to just let go of the nagging "woulda. shoulda, coulda's" which drive us crazy! I just encourage you to maintian an attitude of gratitude and don't look back. Enjoy and appreciate your wonderful marriage foir what it is today and you will find serenity.

Have you talked to a counselor about the feelings you've been having? That can really help. I can recommend kind, caring counselors who don't cost, if you'd like.  Hang in there, friend, we're rooting for you.

I have a wonderful friend who has played the role of a counselor bc she went thru a lot of what I went thru so I'm good. The trick is for me to stop thinking and stop regretting but its so hard to when I think the path to this point would have been different and better had I not been a certain way. Unintentionally of course.

The amt of stressing over issues accumulating one after another was crippling. Several deaths close then loss of child, more & issues piled up since my 30's ...now in my 60's.

Things I could not control continued until it finally wore me down..no matter how hard I fought always felt defeated in every way. The stress caused more illness even though I had plenty of positive things to keep me occupied. I opted for distraction.

It was a rude awakening after I fell ill from too much stress. The out come was not a related solution in my analogy for a life of enjoyment. A change in attitude was mine & only mine alone. I cannot change anyone else. I had to drop the negativity around me, move on or continue down the road of pain & depression. I choose freedom.

Stress in life can take a toll on our health in so many ways. I hope u are doing better perhaps talk therapy to help sort out the past to the present.

I did choose therapy then one day a light bulb went off in my head..
I could see thing so clearly. It changed my total outlook.