a little freaked out

true statement---all so messed up. the things we learn to live with and ignore until the threshold of symptom impact lessens to reveal the symps weve learned to ignore. peeling the onion.

It's nice to hear that you guys can relate to this.

This morning, while I was getting ready for work, I had a nasty dizzy spell while I was talking to my husband. The room was slowly spinning, but I didn't flinch. He had no idea! I am able to have pounding headaches, dizzy spells, shooting pains, and keep smiling and talking like nothing is happening! It's madness.

Girlie,

Oh my God! I think (and say) that all the time!!

I used to especially feel that way when I was in the doctor's office before my diagnosis & more visually obvious symptoms. I went to a terrible doctor at UCLA who told me nothing was wrong with me, and I was probably just stressed. While she was talking to me, I was having the most intense facial pain/headache/nausea/exhaustion you could imagine. It was a SEARING pain. I was like, if you could feel for just one minute what I am feeling, you would laugh at what you just said to me.

Do I now have the occasional fantasy of sneaking into that doctor's house and putting a tiny lyme disease ridden tic under her pillow…maybe.. :)

I sometimes feel the same way, especially my father( this sounds so bad). I say that because I had huge plans this summer to, Roof my house, change all the windows, add a front porch, an addition on the back and side the whole house before snow flies. Needless to say, I relapsed 7 weeks ago real bad. Way worse than last time. I have been struggling to work on my house and my father has been helping me but now that I'm sick, he is like, 'just suck it up and lets get this done'. He has no clue what I'm going through and he's alway like, 'I just saw so and so and he looks like hell, but he's going through cancer.' So... if I had cancer you would go easier on me? Its so frustrating and depressing.

Today I was in a seminar and I got an awful pain in my chest and down my left arm. I got very light headed, I got a little freaked out, I talked myself through it. Its so weird that before this, Like most of you, probably would have gone to the hospital.

I read a lot here and you guys really help me cope with this. I don't contribute a lot because I work 60 hours a week and by the time I get home I can't even comprehend what I am reading.

Thanks Everyone
Andrew

Andrew,

Sometimes it really is hard not "looking sick," and/or having a disease people are familiar with. Although, I'm from CT, so there is a bigger understanding of how serious lyme can be, which has certainly helped me mentally cope. Compassion is SO important, and I hope you are finding it in other places.

Fighting through the pain is not worth it, though, and it certainly doesn't help the healing process. I FINALLY had to stop pretending. I just couldn't physically keep it up anymore. I had to slow down everything, work, physical activity, etc.

I went to a wedding recently, and I kept getting compliments on how great I looked - probably from all the weight loss, and I wanted to say "Thank you, cause I feel like dog crap." So I've since totally put my social life on hold. Pretending I'm a normal person is almost the MOST exhausting part of this whole thing. I emailed all my friends and just told them they won't be seeing me for a while while I recover.

Let yourself rest as much as you can!

Good one Trav! I sometimes say "looks aren't everything!"