Panicking badly.

I'm panicking. Scared, and very upset. I'm herxing on the Monolaurin. After I took it last night I got very anxious first and then very nauseous.

On top of that, I started Lithium Orotate, and I think that might have made everything much worse? My mind is racing, as I've said before, like a popcorn popper, but worse.

Just texted my LLMD, and she said to drink a lot of water, rest, and stop my meds for three days.

Even my dog knows something's wrong. A few minutes ago, when I was starting to panic, she came running to me, literally. That made me cry even more, but I felt a little better afterwards. Now I have dog hair in my mouth, because, I don't mean to sound pitiful, but she's the only "person" I have.

At least at the moment, I feel completely useless and alone. I was trying to think whom I could call, and there is absolutely noone.

I tried calling my ex bf, and it first, he tried to reason with me, then he got frustrated, and then mad, and said he had to go to bed. He couldn't handle it, obv.

My computer has also been hacked, literally.

M

Margaret - Please know I'm thinking of you and here for you too.

If you want to email me too, thats ok and I will be up until 1130 Pacific time

Just keep saying to yourself "This will pass"
because it will pass. Hug your dog and keep her near for comfort.

Hang in there - its going to get better!!

I'm so sorry Margaret! I was living alone and did not have the support I needed. It really amplified my fears and symptoms-everything I was going through. It was extremely difficult and traumatizing. I felt alone. I'm so sorry you feel like that. Please know that we are here and we care-you're not alone!!!

Hope you are feeling better this morning, Margaret.

My dog comes to me at those times, as well! Sometimes she comes before I even know it's going to start.

Feel free to email me if you have another episode. I'm often up in the middle of the night. I know having someone "talk me down" at those times is really helpful.

Hang in there Margaret!! I'm still sick, but slightly better. My anxiety was through the roof for a while, it will lessen. PM me if you want to talk.

How slowly did you start the Monolaurin? She told me to start very slow or it would kick my butt! I haven't had any problems with it.

Oh, I was prescribed diazepam as a muscle relaxant by my neurologist. I told her I take it when I get anxiety and she prescribed more. I don't take it often, but when I need it it really helps!

Hi all,

Thank you for the lovely and sweet responses. I am still herxing, but now it's more physical then mental, and my mind is no longer racing. It's mostly nausea and intense fatigue. And a little sad.

I definitely want to answer in greater detail, but I'm too tired right now.

AML, she wanted me to go up one pellet a week, but I can't. I'm going to have to put some serious thought into how I'm going to create a schedule for myself.

Thanks so much. Might very well email some of you and get help for the computer.

Margaret

Hi everyone,

Just an update. Thanks for keeping up with me; it helps so much!

I am so, so tired, it's unreal. In a month or so, I've gone from not being able to fall asleep until 4:30 a.m. to sleeping 12-13 hours a night, and being tired and sleepy during the remaining waking hours.

It's scary. I don't even feel like taking my dream vacation to the Caribbean anymore :)

I stopped the Lithium Orotate. I still don't understand why it's such a highly touted supplement? Maybe it's good for people who aren't already on meds like Cymbalta and Lamictal.

Simela, I think the anxiety was a bunch of things combined: the Lithium Orotate, going up on the Monolaurin, and feeling profoundly alone (and I do still feel that way, but I'm too tired to be horribly upset right now). Sounds terrible, but the one thing I do look forward to all day is going to bed. If I had my druthers, I'd rather be excited about other things, like planting a garden or going out on the town.

I think now is finally the time for me to accept my illness(es) and ask for help, but ask whom?

Oh, and Sim, I don't think AML meant that she was taking the Diazepam every day, but only on an as needed basis. You can't get addicted if you only take it once a week or whatever. I have some Klonopin for the same purpose, but I haven't refilled it in so long that I wasn't able to use it last night.

I haven't taken any abx or antimicrobials since Sunday night, although I was already starting to feel profoundly fatigued regardless.

Thanks all for being the most supportive folks in my life right now (apart for my dogs). Isn't it weird, if you have to ask yourself, "Who is the most important person in my life right now," and the answer is, "my dog?"

I just hope I can keep caring for my dogs.

M

I have gone from tired/wired to plain old tired/tired (except for the moments of panic or intense herxing). I've always loved walking, but walking the dogs yesterday was a huge struggle.

I think my adrenals must be getting near the zero mark. Stress and stressful events don't help either, but I need to let that stuff go.

Would love to keep you all posted.

((((HUGS, HUGS, HUGS))))

I'm really sorry to here this Margaret :( I so empathize. Come here when you feel like that! Email me!

I hope you are feeling better and I'll be thinking of you. I was just having a hard time and really understand just how awful that is :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:( lots of hugs and positive energy from me!!!!!

Aww, you guys are wonderful! I think I'm going to email as many folks as possible, because it's becoming very clear to me now that I'm not going to have a social life for awhile.

First things to do a.m.: Call labcorb to have them order salivary adrenals test (they don't have it, of course)!! and call Dr. F. to pay her and get my thyroid labs mailed to my house STAT. I think my thyroid levels must be about 0 as well (or, rather, very high, since that means hypothyroid).

I also have a potential Doc or NP (PCP) in the works (both Lyme-friendly, but not literate), as well as (maybe) a psychologist who won't turn me down like the other ones have.

My BIG problems now are lack of motivation, intense fatigue, and inability to drive anywhere.

I'm also going to have to scrape up the money to find someone to help me. But who??

Do you folks have any idea of how to raise money online?

Then there's the eating problem. I don't have much appetite, until I have these massive blood sugar lows. UGGHHHHH.

M