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Any writers here want to help me finish this? My brain has been hijacked but I like the outline!

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Posted 6/18/2015 5:01 PM (GMT 0)
If you turned me inside out,
Then maybe you could see,
The pain and misfortune,
That this tick brought into me.



I wrote some more but I just dont like it yet. I love the idea "If you turned me inside out"- I wanted to write something to share with my family. I've been having a hard time feeling... supported and understood and I wanted to remind them that I'm still struggling in a gentle, intimate way. Writing has always been a great release for me.

Any takers to help???!!!!



"Fear drives your desperation,
Panic is your fuel,
This is your darnation,
Nonchalance can be so cruel."
------- I like what I was trying to say here but it seems too.... ya know. technical I guess. AH! I hate writers block! Stupid bugs!
Posted 6/18/2015 6:55 PM (GMT 0)
In the middle...

Shaky arms and legs
Floaters in my eyes
Swelling in my brain
A life I now despise
Posted 6/18/2015 7:01 PM (GMT 0)
When you see me smiling,
It's masking my despair
I'm struggling to hang on,
But, it's more than I can bear.
Posted 6/18/2015 7:04 PM (GMT 0)
I struggle each and every day
to fight this horrible disease
Please God help me out
I'm begging you, on my knees.
Posted 6/18/2015 7:05 PM (GMT 0)
Okay - now I'm crying! Thank goodness we have this forum...
Posted 6/18/2015 7:35 PM (GMT 0)
Doctors do no harm
But lyme they do not see
The stranger that lies within
Slowly killing me
Posted 6/18/2015 7:57 PM (GMT 0)
The person that i was
I miss more each day
conflicted in desperation
seeking to find "the old me."

My days are full of struggle
my nights full of pain
the result of pretending
that i could behave
like "the old me".
Posted 6/18/2015 8:03 PM (GMT 0)
Kick myself if i could
for learning once again
to accept my limitations
as i would a new found friend.

This is not the life i wanted
not the life i chose...
For those who truly know
what this has done to me.

Standing by my side...
knowing who i am
not doubting for a moment
I am doing the best i can.
Posted 6/18/2015 8:12 PM (GMT 0)
I want you to stay beside me,
But inside you cannot see...

The pain within is hard to mask
Simply living is such a major task.

I do not want life to pass me by
Yet here I sit & silently cry.

Post Edited (happyjo) : 6/18/2015 2:28:32 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 6/18/2015 8:17 PM (GMT 0)
Girlie, I'm crying now too.

Someone needs to put this together and post it to a bunch of sites.

I would post it to inspire.com There is a new group called Invisible Diseases. I'm sure everyone on there would appreciate seeing it.
Posted 6/18/2015 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
If you turned me inside out, Then maybe you could see,
The pain and misfortune, That this tick brought into me.
Shaky arms and legs, Floaters in my eyes
Swelling in my brain, A life I now despise

When you see me smiling, It's masking my despair
I'm struggling to hang on, But, it's more than I can bear.
I struggle each and every day, to fight this horrible disease
Please God help me out, I'm begging you, on my knees.
Doctors do no harm, But lyme they do not see
The stranger that lies within, Slowly killing me
The person that i was, I miss more each day
conflicted in desperation, seeking to find "the old me."

My days are full of struggle, my nights full of pain
the result of pretending, that i could behave
like "the old me".
Kick myself if i could, for learning once again
to accept my limitations, as i would a new found friend.

This is not the life i wanted, not the life i chose...
For those who truly know, what this has done to me.

Standing by my side..., knowing who i am
not doubting for a moment, I am doing the best i can.
I want you to stay beside me, But inside you cannot see...

The pain within is hard to mask,Simply living is such a major task.

I do not want life to pass me by, Yet here I sit & silently cry.
Posted 6/18/2015 8:59 PM (GMT 0)
Love it!!!!!!!!!
Posted 6/18/2015 9:07 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks know you guys this turned out really awesome let's keep it going! I have another part I'd like to add. I'll post when I'm done making this food
Posted 6/18/2015 9:30 PM (GMT 0)
Okay IHL -feel free to edit my parts....
Posted 6/18/2015 9:35 PM (GMT 0)
Sounds like it needs a wee bit of tweaking, but your beginning was strong, & you have some heartfelt moments work ti with & edit. wink

Also, to add (inspired by Sayy's previous Ted post):

Throughout this hellish trance,
I will be forever grateful~
To those who asked me to dance :)

Post Edited (happyjo) : 6/18/2015 4:12:48 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 6/18/2015 10:10 PM (GMT 0)
Yes feel free to edit mine as well... i think this needs changing for starters

My days are full of struggle
my nights full of pain
the result of pretending < the result of my pretending?
that i could behave < my actions could resemble
like "the old me". < someone i used to be




Chasing a forgotten ghost

my body does not
remember
how it used to be

When a simple household chore
would not bring me to my knees

Multitasking was my hobby
moving fast was my game

never thinking for a moment
will this venture bring me pain?

when i shiver and i sweat
its not from running in the rain

i have no sense of normal
since that day it pierced my flesh

I no longer plan tomorrow
since my body is a nest

For the parasites that linger
and the germs that hide and rest

can i have just a moment
to forget what this has done

can i pretend i am all better
or tell the bugs that i have won.

God please help me to remember
the things you've done for me

So i am able to ask another
what can i do for you.

Post Edited (Bellyfull) : 6/18/2015 4:32:44 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 6/18/2015 10:16 PM (GMT 0)
You guys do whatever you'd like I'm going to be busy until tonight. I really love all of this so far! This is awesome!!!!
Posted 6/19/2015 12:12 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry but did not see till later. DH and I both cried. He said this is all that you have been trying to explain to me.....

To all the lymies out there
Who struggle through their days
My hope is you'll be cured
And stay that way always

The Lord is watching over us
He'll allow only less than we can bear
Stay strong, keep fighting, do not fuss
We've had more than our fair share

It's got to get better......

Sorry but that is the best I can do in the poetry dept.....

I am so thankful for all of you.....
Posted 6/19/2015 12:42 AM (GMT 0)
I know there's more to this
Than we can really see-
I feel Gods arms around me
Wherever I may be.

He turns all things good
For His glory-
That's why we
Need to share our story.

He's always in control
we are not-
We just need to trust
And be glad to play a part.

Because it's a privilege
To have this job and duty-
to be so weak and weary
But to have that inner beauty.
Posted 6/19/2015 5:02 AM (GMT 0)
Your family suffers right along with you,

The guilt and shame are crippling,

It's a joke thats just too true,

the effects are ever rippling,

You don't have a choice,

Even after you've lost your voice,

To continue the fight,

So you can hold your loved ones tight,

Year by year, month by month,

Shedding tears and taking the brunt,

Day by day, Moment by moment,

Seasons fade filled with enormous torment,

Hyper aware as you count your losses,

Bearing too many heavy crosses,

When the medical community have turned their backs,

It's apparent where human compassion has begun to lack,

7 minutes to beg for help,

Disbelief slapping your face and leaving a welt,

I've stopped wondering how they sleep at night,

I'm too busy in the fight for my life,







And blah. I ran out of steam. I'm not really feeling it right now it's not flowing. I hate how my writing turns out when I try too hard. Errgggg!!! Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to connect emotion to language better lol.
Posted 6/19/2015 3:53 PM (GMT 0)
Happy Jo that is perfect! I love it! Thank you for fixing that! Reading some of the stuff I wrote before my mind was so compromised is fascinating. It's so different now. I can really see how low my cognitive function is. It's sad, but hopefully I can get it back one day! It's still fun to try.

Thank you all for unraveling this with me! Who wants to put it all together?! I think we did really good! We should post it somewhere for others to read. I can't wait to let my family read it. I really needed something like this to share with them.

You guys are the best!
Posted 6/19/2015 5:53 PM (GMT 0)
Dancingbear's gets my vote

Post Edited (pphillies) : 6/19/2015 7:40:42 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 6/19/2015 6:55 PM (GMT 0)
Dancing bear took them all and put them together (and tweaked it a bit)....Thanks, DB!
Posted 6/19/2015 8:42 PM (GMT 0)
I wanted to mention yesterday, but forgot, this is a very welcome sight. Thanks, guys.

Poetry party.
Posted 6/19/2015 8:53 PM (GMT 0)
You guys did the hard work. I just copied and pasted. If I have time I will put the rest together this weekend. Unless someone else beats me to it. I wont mind.

Traveler will be so proud when she gets back :)

I am so glad this made you happy IHL!
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