Praying for God to take me away

Hi all,

I'm am absolutely at wits end. Just under 2 years treating and I've made zero progress. Went off antibiotics 3 days ago, and this evening all my symptoms came rushing back. I maintained the herbs that I thought were helping but I guess they weren't doing much. I had to drop out of grad school cuz I couldn't handle it and so I could focus all my efforts on treatment. My parents have allowed me to make this my full time job for the past year. 3 LLMD's, 2 years of every antibiotic, herb, and supplement I've ever come across. Anxiety and depression are my worst symptoms and they are taking a toll. I'm just so disappointed and I can't imagine ever being healthy. This isn't a life I'm living, it's a nightmare.

I'm so sorry Dazedpete...btw-I've felt THE SAME all day todAy But it's because my sister's and mother are ganging up on me..I expressed what I need and instead of them saying sorry that they havent been there for me, they are accusing me of needing people too much-that people have their OWN LIVES!!! So, basically they've rejected me-I'm goin mental as I feel SO ALONE!!!

I am so sorry DazedPete1, I asked Jesus to take me last August before I went into the hospital (at this point Lyme, Babesia and Bartonella almost killed me). Luckily, the treatment I was given saved my life, however the doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, I just finally found after still suffering. So I can absolutely understand where you are coming from.

For whatever reason, the Lord is having you go through this trial. I don't understand why your treatment isn't working and I can understand that you must feel very alone, BUT YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Jesus will never leave you. He would not bring you through this to let you fall. You HAVE to believe that you will be healed and that HE will heal you. I couldn't say it any better than sweetpeaisme. I pray this scripture will bring you comfort:

Then your light shall break forth like the morning, Your healing shall spring forth speedily, And your righteousness shall go before you; The glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard. ‭Isaiah‬ ‭58‬:‭8‬

The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and His ears are open to their cry. When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their distress and troubles. Psalm 34:15, 17

God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Psalms‬ ‭46‬:‭1‬

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it abundantly. John‬ ‭10‬:‭10‬

You will be in my prayers!

A return of sx that quickly points to a Bart or Babs co-infection, which can take years to find the right remedies to get under control. Two years of treatment may seam like a long time, but many of us have been treating much longer.

I've accepted the fact that I will need to be on some combination of herbals and maybe even an Rx ABX for maintenance for the rest of my life, or until they finally find a cure. I don't mean to sound too negative to your plight, you not alone in this battle.

To sweet pea & the rest of u. You are in my prayers too! 🙏 I liked video below about Lyme. Felt like I wasn't alone when watching below video.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AegNMY0qWEk

I agree with tickbite666. Even if you have been treating for a long time, if you haven't been treating the right infections you will see little improvement. "Every herb and supplement?" If you give me your list, I'll give you mine.

Our daughter was treated with heavy-duty antibiotics for bartonella for 2 years - biaxin, azithromycin, rifampin, plaquinel, minocycline, tindamax, malarone. Many combinations and permutations.

Through Igenex testing she had been found to be positive for bartonella and IND for lyme. All of her symptoms were bartonella, she had 0 symptoms of babesia and tested negatively for it.

When we began this journey I intuitively knew that herbs would be her ultimate healing and I started reading ALL of Stephen Buhner's books. But I was unsure of myself and had been taught that mainstream medicine had all the answers; could properly test for any organism and would give the proper drug or antibiotic. My conceptions were Oh so very wrong.

So we started out by going to our LLMD. She was good. She knew her antibiotics. Knew all the tests that had to be done, but realized also that they could return false negative.

After 1.5 years of going after bartonella the LLMD started treating asymptomatic, negative testing babesia. But the antibiotics she used were not very effective, and although there was a little improvement overall, it didn't last. At that point she gave up.

So I immediately started Buhner's full bartonella protocol to make sure K wouldn't relapse. And what do you know, it held her for 8 months at the place where she had gotten with all of those antibiotics.

Not until I started K on Buhner's babesia herbs did she start experiencing a more complete improvement. She obviously needed to treat the asymptomatic underlying protozoan infection before she could heal from the bartonella and lyme infections.

Seriously, herbs have improved her condition far more than all of the above mentioned antibiotics ever did. They are more broadly antimicrobial and tend to cover infections that we don't even know we have. Some have compounds that stop the bacteria from being able to develop resistance (efflux pump inhibitors) and some help improve microcirculation to move the compounds more freely around the body. But you have to understand what you are doing.

Please don't ask God to take you away.

You need to let go of the resistance you have toward your infections. The resistance fills your mind with panic and anger and leaves no room for the intuition that is God giving you as his form of direction.

To receive intuitive knowledge you need to still your mind. Practice being in the moment, practice meditation. Your ego is based on thinking about the past and the future and will make you either very depressed or very anxious. It is only in this very moment that life actually happens.

I'm frustrated too. I'm so sorry dazedpete. I give up probably 6 times a day lately. I give up and then scrape myself back up off the floor and do it all over again.

Right now I'm writhing around the couch trying to get comfortable in my own skin. It's impossible. I just have to live like this.

One cool thing. I went to the Lyme less live more website and signed up. I can watch the videos for 12 days. They aren't focused on treatment and it's given me some other stuff to think about. You should go check it out and get your mind thinking about some other stuff for a few days until you can regroup. I'm still miserable, but the shift in focus helps a little.

We can be super frustrated together. I'll be your frustration buddy!

So sorry dazedpete try and hang in somedays i want to give up but i wont....

Yes, I get those thoughts once in awhile, i.e. "either let me get better or let me die." However, I've found that acceptance helps, along with allowing myself tiny moments of happiness, or getting satisfaction out of small things.

Margaret