Bart Melt Down

I'm having a melt down. I cannot sustain this anymore. I do not know what to do. Nothing works, I feel like crap and no one around me seems to care. Not my parents, not my friends, no one. I look very healthy, I feel quite the opposite. My skin is numb, my anxiety is through the roof, my brain zaps occur daily, I cry all the time (I'm 28 male), my life is in the dumps, I've lost all finances, I've lost everything; job, house, lifestyle, etc. Bart is in my brain and I can feel it. I can't get it out?!?

I have been treating for 5 months with limited success. I can't even get past 3 drops of Samento or 3 drops of A-bart.

It is just a constant blur of herxing. No sauna or green juice can relieve. I just herx, herx, herx. I feel so helpless and hopeless.

250mg of Biaxin put me on such a herx yesterday! Just that little dose. But the herxing never ends. I don't get it??? I can't breath properly, my brain hurts, everything sucks.

My diet is perfect greens, organic, almost vegan... I can't work. What is stopping my healing?? I'm so confused. At this point death seems inevitable...

I really wish there was a physical community dedicated to lyme disease all focused on healing. I really think Lyme patients need to be seen daily by a LLMD and treatment plan adjusted accordingly.

I need mental Lyme support for me the battle is way more of a mental than anything. I'm loosing it and just want to hang out with someone who knows. I wish I could move in with someone who has healed adapt their protocol and finally heal. Why do healing centers have to be so expensive? Why are we shunned by the world? Perhaps if and when I'm healed I will make it a point to make a free healing center for Lyme patients that work on donations. Makes sense to me. Sort of like a college for Lyme with living spaces and all.

Anyways sorry for the rant. I just really need some mental relief....btw I'm in Melbourne, Fl.

Kyle

It sucks that we have to go through this. At times I'm not sure what I am battleing. Sometimes I feel like it's candida other I feel like it's only bart. I think I would be better if I knew, but it is all unknown. Everything; treatment, duration, completing, healing. No one knows.

I clear one symptom up and get excited, it comes roaring up somewhere else. I guess I am making progress it's just so non-linear. I'd even take a slow non-linear healing over the massive gains then huge tanks. It's like a giant rollercoaster of hell.

My treatment is/was;
3 drops of Samento or
3 drops of A-bart
bunch of vitamins; zinc, vit c, ala, glutathione, etc.
healthy eating; hippocrates soup, beet/green juices, liver (my only meat)
detox; fIR sauna daily, charcoal, zeolite, chloestmysine, etc
liver supplement; ursodiol
biaxin on and off if tolerable.

Right now my numbskin is really bothering me. I had made so much progress on it, now it's getting worse and spreading!?! I feel that it is fungal related, but have no clue. No clue about anything...its terrible.

Thanks for the reply. I'm doing much better than this morning. Perhaps it was a huge 3 day flare/herx. I just don't know.

Kyle

Could there be something in your regimen that you're allergic to? If I take a multi-vitamin, I'm effed. So I stay away from those and I'm making progress.

I know this is a pain but...what about talking with your doc about going off everything and then bringing stuff back in slowly, 2 or 3 at a time (or however you want) to see what kinds of symptoms prevail.

Maybe you'll feel just as bad off your regimen as on it, which could provide some clues.

And the meltdown? Been there, and continue to be.

Oh honey! This overwhelming feeling is not you, it is the disease.
You can and will overcome!

A few things that helped me- bone broth! This is huge! This is like a prebiotic. All the things we pump into our bodies can often overwhelm or deplete our bodies. My acupuncturist said to eat more cooked food and to make bone broth. I was living on salads, which are great but incorporating more cooked food into your diet may be more comforting and help you to absorb nutrients without your body having to work so hard. I was instructed to have a at least a cup of homemade bone broth a day. Making a healing broth is uber nutritious and delicious and I highly recommend!

I've found the hydrogen peroxide/epsom salt baths have been super helpful too and I try to listen to a comedy podcast while soaking in the tub to try to laugh more and release the fear and stiffness of this time.

Also, I lovelovelove your idea of a low cost healing place for lymies! So brilliant and needed!

May you awake to a sweeter new day tomorrow.
namaste.

Do your herxes come with improvement? I thought I was herxing for a long time until I realized it was just the lyme and co wreaking havoc and I wasn't actually herxing. I started treating babesia with meds and found that it was covering up all of the other infections, so now I herx from everything.

Kyle, my appt with my LLMD was a long way off and I got depressed and I was crying a lot. It scared me because I am not a sad person, at all! I went to my GP and explained to her everything I felt and she told me a lot of things to do. First off she said, stay off the internet doing research. Everyone is different and you are not them. Secondly she said go to a support group. Not information, but a happy uplifting group that shows you that this can be beat. And she suggest spiritual help and last she gave me a prescription for an anti-depressant. I told her I would try for a week to get back on track emotionally but thanked her for the script. She was also super good about checking interactions of the script with what I am taking. I really do no want to take the script because antidepressants have to be taken daily and you cannot stop them cold turkey. Not fun in my world!! They are not in my plan, but it is a comfort that they are there.

So far, I am doing good, but I make a list in the morning and I get to it. It is an easy list and I don't have to do all of it but when I start to feel down - I move to the list. The list does have fun things on it like get your nails done, watch a movie, make popcorn. LOL Even easy stuff is hard some days, as I am sure you know.

Also exercise! She said even lifting cans of food while water was boiling for dinner on the stove. Exercise even in the slightest will release endorphins and those are natural happy pills for the brain.

Hugs to you and you can beat this bugger! You are young and I am sure it feels like forever because I am 64 and it sure feels like forever!!

Annette

Kyle I'm so sorry you are feeling this way but know you are not alone. We are all in this fight together and trying to tough it out. This past week has been especially hard for me with my symptoms flaring up, leaving me feeling pretty sad. But have to keep my chin up and think of all the great things in my life.

You're right it does suck that we have to go through this. But I believe everything happens for a reason and there is a reason why I am going through this difficult time in my life. How about watching some funny videos on YouTube? Or a funny movie? That always helps for me.

Praying for you and I hope you feel better soon :) hugs

Hi Kyle!
Sorry for your challenges with this mess. 3 things: 1. Biaxin is not to be taken if you have MTHFR mutation per Dr. Ben Lynch. 2. Low Dose Naltrexone (LDN) is an immune system modulator and it may help. There are great FB groups to join that will help educate you with this. Just type in LDN and they will show up. 3. Detox detox detox using 5 different things or methods 5 x day. When I become very symptomatic it usually means I need more detox.
Hang in there...we in this together:)!

Post Edited (lymey111) : 9/4/2015 2:11:15 PM (GMT-6)

Very interesting on the Biaxin and mutation. Does he say why? What about Tinidazole? Biaxin makes me really tired like noodly, not a normal herx symptom to for me. Any suggestions on a good/safe abx that could really tackle bartonella?

A-bart helps a bit, but really made my tinnitus terrible at just 3 small drops. I've got to the point where every little thing I do makes me herx. My immune system is either strong enough to help or getting weaker and I'm loosing the battle. Though I've done a ton of work on immune system boosting with FIR sauna, green juices, vegetable soups, liver dinner, liver flushes, and more. I hope this is just a 4 day herx or flare. Usually herxes last about 2 days, but this one has been by far the worst and longest if one? Has anyone had a very large herx when they thought herxing was to a minimum? Like 4 months into treatment?

The last few days have been a neurological nightmare. Major fits of depression, anxiety, ominous cloud, out of body feelings, and liver pains. AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! haha, perhaps I should slow down and detox. Is doing a few days hard detox ok? I don't want to loose any ground while detoxing, hence why I don't stop taking killers? I'm scared to loose the progress I've already made, though small...

sebreg- What is your current protocol? Are you treating bart? Even though I was chronically fatigued before bartonella I still was functional and 'normal'. It wasn't until fostering kittens and getting cat scratch from these buggers when the real hell broke loose. Bart spread like wild fire through my body and went straight to my head! Terrible.

Its like the bart has highjacked my brain telling me to stop treatment, your killing me. It has taken over all decision making. I feel like a terrible person because I walk all over everyone. I'm like a chicken with my head cut off just looking for answers and only caring about one thing in my life and that is getting better. Like OCD on health, but perhaps I'm focusing too hard and making myself worse.

All confusing.

lymey111 - Have you tried LDN? Any success? I have read a lot about it and really think it could help. I do have some LDN I tried it one night, but wasn't too sure about it. Really trippy dreams and woke up several times with very high pulses, I really thought I felt the endorphin rushes. I feel like everything makes me trip hard, like drug trip. I heard results take a week or more. The problem is do I stop taking killers and risk making progress to try LDN? I don't want to risk mixing LDN with something else that could compound results throwing down a spiral path...

I don't like mixing all these meds. I have so many but don't know which one to take religiously, I start down one path then have terrible herx or side-effects and jump ship; a-bart, samento, banderol, houttany, LDN, tinidazole, biaxin, bio-film enzymes...how much can my system really handle, plus a slew of supplements. A-bart has been by far the longest I stuck with.

I made it a month but still had terrible herxes and slow progress. I was stuck at 3 drops a day thinking I should be at least much further in 1 month. My doc wants me at 15 x2 a day? May never make it there with this terrible tinnitus and semi-hallucinations it gives me.

Do you think it is a better idea to get my nutrients through vegetable juices rather than supplements? I'm starting to get away from the idea of taking tons of pills every morning. Perhaps my liver is working too hard trying to process it all. Is the idea of strengthening the immune system so that it takes over and kills bart naturally something I should be putting all my effort into while killer supplements on the back burner and low doses? It just really is beyond me why my immune system just really doesn't care to address bartonella? It like my immune system says 'Hey what's up friend? Welcome and enjoy some free food. Do what you want, I don't care.'

I surely wouldn't suggest a few days of "hard detoxing" as that could make things a LOT worse if you have a high toxin load, and if you haven't been detoxing regularly, you will, trust me. You can set off a major herx by detoxing too fast.

It would be much, much better for you to start off slow and build up to doing much more.

Things that won't necessarily increase your herxing when started:
Activated charcoal
oil pulling
dry skin brushing (does two things - moves lymph as well as lifts off dead layer of skin)
A no sugar, lowered carb diet.
Milk thistle to help detox and protect the liver

That's all I can think of right now, but there are a lot of threads that you could do a search for, and I'm sure that others will be along shortly to add to that list!!