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New to Lyme and have severe depression. Please help!

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Posted 12/14/2015 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hi All,

I just found out that I have Lyme disease last week but symptoms have been going on for the past 5 months. It started as panic attacks, anxiety.

I have since developed a lot of physical symptoms but the most disabling and severe has become depression. I am mother of two beautiful little boys. 1 yr and 6yrs old. I also have a loving husband. I truly loved my life before all this madness started. The guilt I feel for all these crazy thoughts and not being able to be the mother and wife they deserve adds a tremendous amount of pain as well.

Now I don't know who I am anymore and have been so depressed and having thoughts of death and suicide. I haven't started treatment yet an I am just wondering does this get better with treatment?

I don't know how much longer I can handle this. I just want my life back so badly. It's been a lot to process. I didn't even know what this disease was a week ago and now I can't believe this is my reality.

Any word of hope or encouragement would mean so much to me right now. Thanks so much.
Posted 12/14/2015 6:07 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sandra29, welcome to our community!

I'm so sorry you're suffering with this...but I am glad you found us here...we can help you.


"Now I don't know who I am anymore" - That's exactly what I was saying to my husband when my symptoms started. I was distraught...
But, I can tell you honestly - that my mental health has greatly improved in the past couple years since symptoms first started. I no longer cry everyday....my anxiety is about 95% better....no feelings of depression at all.


Do you have a LLMD? That is important - you need to get treatment...and discuss your symptoms - including the anxiety and depression.

This forum is a great place for support, information...and even to just vent. I am so grateful for this community of caring people.

You're at a low point now, but hang in there...lyme disease is a treatable condition.
Posted 12/14/2015 6:30 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you girlie for you reply.

It's comforting to hear that it can get better. I am being seen by a homeopathic dr who has treated others with Lyme and seems to know quite a bit about this disease.

I have another appt this Wednesday so I will address these issues with him. I am just learning about this disease and feeling scared. But at least I finally have answers as to what is going on with me.

It's hard to know what route to take natural treatment or antibiotics? I just want to heal and be able to take care of my children.

Another question does any one feel like they are in a dream or like you are on a bad trip? It's so strange all the things that this disease can do! It's like living in a nightmare.
Posted 12/14/2015 7:10 PM (GMT 0)
Howdy Sandra29, I so can relate to your depression. Make sure you tell your homeopathic doctor. I will never forget sitting in the doctor's office crying because I was so depressed. How many nights my husband came home and said "how was your day?" and I would just stand there and cry in his arms.

The minute one symptom improved, my depression was so very much better and I became a full fledged lyme fighter. Not that I had the energy, but I definitely was not going to let lyme take away my life!

I am not 100% YET, but I am on the road and traveling there.

I feel for you because it is just me and hubby and I don't know what I would do with active children around. Hugs,

~~Annette
Posted 12/14/2015 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sandra!
Welcome to our community! I'm so glad you found us.

If you haven't ​yet​, it would be helpful for you to start with reading through the thread at the top of the forum titled,"New to Lyme?...Start here!!", as it is packed full of important information, symptom lists, helpful links and pdf's, how to detox when one has these infections, information on probiotics and much more.
​
We have members who have healed using abx, herbs/natural treatments and abx and herbs/natural treatments only. I'm in the last group, herbs/natural treatments only after having these infections for 40 years. So a good protocol is much more important than whether you choose herbs or abx.

Depression can most certainly be a part of Lyme symptoms. I'm not someone that normally has depression either, yet I've had to use antidepressants to get through some rough spots, and then I would get back off of them. I have not used any antidepressant herbs or pharmaceuticals though since healing.

Here is something that may be of help for you to read: themighty.com/2015/10/to-the-mom-living-with-chronic-illness-who-feels-inadequate/

And, when I was talking with my now adult children, they told me the thing that meant the most to them was that I was there with them and I showed how much I cared. My kids didn't get to know me as a well person until they were 29 & 30 yrs old. The fact that I couldn't do the things with them/for them that I felt I should be doing and other mom's were doing made no difference to them really. It was that I was there, and that I spent time with them and I showed my love for them.

The learning curve for Lyme is really quite brutal, but we are here to help you get through this. Just keep asking questions and reading! We can help find articles, teach you what information sources to trust and
help you understand some of what is going on.
Posted 12/15/2015 3:46 AM (GMT 0)
Depression and anxiety,panick attacks are my worst symptoms still have the depression but it is a little better so yes it does get better sometimes you have to dig down deep ,learn to breathe,meditate, long walks,yoga has really helped to handle the stess and a lot of prayer stay strong......
Posted 12/15/2015 3:56 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much for all of your replies I am in tears reading them because it gives me hope.

Traveler I really needed to hear that about your children saying that it just mattered that you were there and showed your love for them. That has helped me make a shift in my feeling guilty and that they really do need me even if I can't be there for them the way I used to or want to.

As far as treating the depression. That's what I was originally diagnosed with and prescribed antidepressants by my family md, but I did not react well to them. I tried a couple different ones and they both made anxiety and depression worse along with a lot of side effect so they are unfortunately not for me. I just hope treatment for Lyme improves them both.

I'm so glad to have found such an amazing supportive group of people who just genuinely want to help others and are paying it forward. I hope to to do the same one day.

Thanks again:)

Post Edited (Sandra29) : 12/15/2015 9:02:10 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/15/2015 5:00 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sandra,

My lyme symptoms began with extreme depression and panic attacks as well, that seemed to materialize quickly, and out of nowhere. My depression involved a lot of extreme guilt for no rational reason, major depressive episodes, horrible brain fog, etc.
Just so you know I am now much much better and the only thing that has helped my depression has been going on the antibiotics.
Don't worry, it will get better with treatment. It's sort of crazy that a disease could cause this much emotional trauma, but just know that it can be fixed.
Posted 12/15/2015 6:52 PM (GMT 0)
Be sure that your doc addresses your depression and anxiety if you have that as well. As a Homeopathic doctor, they should be able to prescribe you something other than "typical" antidepressants. Allow yourself to accept the help right now, depression is a serious illness and complicates healing if not treated properly.

Kids are amazing. They need to have an understanding of what it's like for those that are disabled or are really sick though as well. It can be a teaching opportunity - seriously. One of the things that my son wrote in a college paper was that he remembered and it made a huge impression on him that although I was sick for so many years, I still helped others. A horse was out and running across a highway - well, I'm an old horse trainer and it was obvious that the lady trying to catch the horse was afraid of it. So, even though we were on our way to do something in town, we stopped, I caught the horse for her and then helped get him back in the pasture. The lady was so grateful, yet I did very little. It was her husband's horses, and she never had anything to do with them - because they scared her but he was gone to auction.

Really, it's the little things that kids see. Just be the loving Mom you are, do what you can when you can and explain why you can't do those other things any more. Kids have a huge heart when given a chance.

And please continue to come here for support!! That's something we can do for you! And ask questions about your treatment, about healing, about life. We have a lot of really great people here that just love to help! :-)
Posted 12/15/2015 8:12 PM (GMT 0)
Also new to Lyme,keep fighting the good fight.After a "very long year" I know I have chronic Lyme,many specialists told me I was fine.....while my body and mind told me something was wrong....found a good Lyme DR and I will keep moving foward trying everything I can find to get better......as of now,I feel 30-40% better than when I started.

Interesting how we fight when we have to.Do not get frustrated,I am a middle age guy that cried over this.And I am a pretty strong person.

I finally got angry.....and became an investigator (advocate) for my health...Lyme is real and the Medical community is waking up to that now. I wish you the best.
Posted 12/15/2015 10:29 PM (GMT 0)
It's hard when you first find out you have Lyme disease. I felt overwhelmed when we found out our daughter had it after many years of being ill. I was scared and a year later found out I had it too, but didn't have many symptoms. It helps that she's not alone with it. After I started learning more about it, my fears lessened quite a bit.

Becoming your own advocate is important and will help you through it, along with this site for support and if you have a support group in your area, that would be good to join too, especially if they're open to alternative medicine too. Early on, I went to one here, but there were only a few people there and they just talked about their pic lines the whole time. I later found another one and they talked about all kinds of alternative treatments and the antibiotics too, so it's a great group with a lot of people.

Welcome to the group reminder!
Posted 12/16/2015 2:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Sandra,

If you feel that you need more help or support, email me.

Margaret
Posted 12/16/2015 3:04 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone for your replies and support! I am so glad I found this forum. It means a lot to me that you have all shared a little of your stories and took the time to help:)
Posted 12/16/2015 3:54 AM (GMT 0)
Sandra, my Lyme also started with severe anxiety and depression. I was miserable and didn't know how I was going to be able to continue. Now, my life is back in full force. Just remember you will get there and it will make everything so much more appreciated. Lyme treatment takes great persistence and patience. Best of luck to you and remember be gentle with yourself.
Posted 12/16/2015 7:48 AM (GMT 0)
Great support ..i am inspired by trav and others...i go thru ups and down cry when i cannot function like i used to.. i got orals abx but am scared after a 10 day bactrim course has triggered vasculitis. All my hormones are jacked every system seems effected..twitching is becoming more with more muscle wasting pain with more pain ...glad its not als but i dont know path feel like i got one shot to get it ....llmd say i need iv abx..need help port or picc?doing bvt and herbs is it enough to get it out of eyes ears and brain?does rife work?
Posted 12/16/2015 4:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Bluelyme!
Welcome to our community! I'm so glad you found us!!

I'm glad you are finding inspiration from this community! That's what we hope for all who are here - I know I sure did when I was in treatment!

If you haven't ​yet​, it would be helpful for you to start with reading through the thread at the top of the forum titled,"New to Lyme?...Start here!!", as it is packed full of important information, symptom lists, helpful links and pdf's, how to detox when one has these infections, information on probiotics and much more.
​

I would first ask about your detoxing and what all are you doing to help your body get rid of those toxins being created as the bacteria die off?

Honestly, from what I've seen, PICC and IV abx are only useful for those that have severe digestive issues. They come with their own set of issues and complications, so orals are the better choice whenever possible. I healed a 40 yr infection with herbs only (and believe me, by then the bacteria was very obviously everywhere in my body, including eyes and brain), so doctors saying that someone has had Lyme "too long" to do orals just don't know what they are talking about on that.

Vasculitis is a fairly common symptom with Lyme, so your treatment isn't what really triggered it, except that it's likely a herx for you.

And yes, BVT seems to be enough for some. Herbs have been proven to be very effective for most who use them, and yes, Rife works for some as well.

Should you be curious about my time line with these infections and healing you can read about that in the link in my signature line below.

Keep asking questions!! The learning curve with Lyme can be brutal! But we want you to be as well informed as possible. We have a great group of "citizen researchers" here that can be a big help!
Posted 12/17/2015 6:31 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you Traveler, your story is amazing !
I am honored for your welcome and will check out the new to lyme info.

i have been detoxing with lots of chlorella, lemon water ,some colonics
epsom salt baths and just got a fir sauna (having trouble regulating temp .mostly always cold.sweats sometimes at night and its winter...so

i just got some ivermectin but i am seeing some intersting things in bm with just the wormwood in my decoction wondering what part that might play in circulation/digestion?

for the mood swing thing i ordered some theanine and holy basil as anxiety seems to be ahead of depression. On suggestion from apitherapist. She said livedo retic and vasculitis may resolve with treatment

if i may ask what abx did you take for that year? did they resolve any symptoms?
I too may have some detox issues with methylation and liver 1 pathways.

thanks again ,hearts to sandra29,also thanks being brave and honest enough to make this thread
Posted 12/17/2015 5:50 PM (GMT 0)
Ha ha ha!!! smilewinkgrin Thank you, but I'm the one humbled and honored at being around still and for those like you who have such kind words for me.

Of course you can ask me any questions! Just be aware - I will answer! LOL!

I used only high dose Minocycline - 900 mgs a day. My LLMD at the time thought it was best to "hit it hard" since I was so sick - of course, now we know that's not a good approach!! It didn't relieve one symptom. It made me so very ill because the need for detoxing was not well known back then either, other than drinking lots of water. I ended up bed ridden, severely cognitively & neurologically compromised, having seizures, couldn't stand on my legs for more than 7 minutes at a time, and so much more. I couldn't even stand having things touch my skin, including clothes, sheets or water, it was simply too painful.

With the help of someone that remains dear to me from this forum, I learned how to get my body to detox, then used herbs only to heal since it seemed pretty obvious that abx wasn't going to work for me. And then you have read the rest of my story.
Posted 12/17/2015 5:55 PM (GMT 0)
I'd recommend St. Johns Wort. Many people say it works wonders for depression, even better than pharmaceuticals in many cases. Plus I believe Traveler used it along with other herbs to cure lyme.
Posted 12/17/2015 7:59 PM (GMT 0)
Hey guys

Thought I'd give an update after my dr appt yesterday.
Turns out I have Lymes, Epstein Barr, adrenal fatigue (which I thought was my original problem and saw him in the first place) and a parasite. Things just keep getting more interesting!!

So wow lots going on. He has started me out on homeopathic remedies and a supplement for depression and anxiety so we shall see. I so hope to see some improvements!!

Thanks again for all the thoughtful replies they help more than you know😊
Posted 12/18/2015 12:08 AM (GMT 0)
Well, you now know what was going on with your health! Congrats on that part.

When do you start treatment for Lyme? Did you get started on anything for you adrenals? Also, did you get your thyroid checked as well then?

Please do let us know how you are doing and of course, if you have any questions!!
Posted 12/18/2015 2:37 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Traveler,

So I started treatment for Lymes today on a homeopathic remedy called Des Bio Borellia/Babesia series therapy.
Have you heard of it?

And yes we checked thyroid and it is on the hyper side but is starting to turn hypo.

For Adrenals I have been taking ashwaganda, Vit c, b vitamins, zinc and magnesium. And he started me on a glandular at a very low dose yesterday. So we will see how things go.

In your opinion What do you think the best way to detox is? Since I'm staring treatment I want to be proactive with it.
Posted 12/18/2015 1:24 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Sandra, a belated welcome, lol!

If you go to the 'sticky' post at the top of the posts page you will see 'New to Lyme' thread. If you look in there you will find some great advice on detoxing. I cannot stress enough, and I am sure others will say the same, that detoxing is vital and certainly get proactive with it ASAP :)

I drink lemon water, dry brush, have epsom salt baths, do oil pulling and take activated charcoal. They certainly help. DETOX, detox, detox....then detox some more!

I also started taking SAMe for my depression and extreme anxiety and I have personally found it to be extremely helpful (like I am no longer an emotional basket case...mostly, LOL!) You may want to ask your doc about it as to whether or not it might be helpful for you?
Posted 12/18/2015 6:37 PM (GMT 0)
Thank silly sheep!

I just ordered the dry brushes and activated charcoal! I will ask doc about SAMe as well:)
Posted 12/18/2015 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
An even more belated welcome to you, Sandra29!

You have been given great information already.

I can only confirm that we are here to help you as much as we can. Everyone's path is different with these infections but, many things are the same. The biggest thing that is the same is the need to detox, detox, detox ;)

People do heal from these infections. It takes longer than probably any one of us would like but it does happen.

You need to be confident that you can heal from these infections....positive thinking goes a very long way.

We'll be here for you throughout your journey for as long as you'd like company ;)
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