Good news time

OK, so I have been a little hesitant in posting this, after all my ups, downs, feeling better and sudden crashes, but I am confident that it is time I shared with you guys...

It has been about eight weeks since I started addressing my detox issues (gene mutant that I am, lol) and I am doing well, I mean REALLY well! My brain feels like my own again, I feel like I am part of the world again, I can feel stuff without getting all over emotional, I can rationalize, I feel like I have walked out from under a dark sky into the sunshine.....I feel like I actually have a future!!

What is really weird is that after almost three years I guess I had just forgotten what that even felt like....yes I know that sounds weird to some, but I know that there are a great many folks here for whom that will make total sense. That's why I am telling you guys, since my non-lyme friends don't seem to have grasped the sheer novelty of feeling like I have an actual life again, lol!

On a good day I feel about 70% well, physically, and I know that over the past year my treatments have been successfully treating my physical symptoms, but up until now I have been battling with the psych side of things in a big way, which only made the physical symptoms feel so much more debilitating - neither my brain nor my body would function properly and the mix of the two has led me to some deep, dark places. Now, for the first time I feel that when I detox I actually feel better, less toxic, both mentally and physically. I would express my joy at this by leaping up and down, but as I am in an internet cafe I will for now just smile smuggly so as not to appear too much of a complete nut job, lol!

I am still working hard at dealing with myself, but I actually feel like I am winning! For the first time I feel like I am gonna kick butt and get over this....yay!!! I celebrated in my own way by errecting a green house...yes, I know I am THAT weird, lol!

I have also stared to have some of my original physical symptoms, which I am very optimistic about as I feel like I may just be getting back to where it all began and right down to the original layers of infection. Yes, I am feeling good about this, which in itself is a huge turn around in the way that I am seeing this infection!

Although part of me says go all out and finish kicking butt, I have decided that this is too good to screw up, so I am not ramping up the herbs, I am gonna ride this 'last bit' out slowly and not mess it up. I have decided (I think, lol) not to go back on the abx, but stick with the herbs and rife, as I know now that I can tolerate them without serious herxing.

Hell fire, even if this is as good as it ever gets, I can live like this :)

Thank you one and all here, I would not have managed this without you! Fear not though, I am not disappearing just yet, lol, you may be stuck with me a while!!! I just needed to share this with folks who 'get it' and hopefully give some others here a bit of hope that it does get better, the puzzle will fit together and there is a way back.

Thanks for listening :)

So very happy for you!!!!

Wait a minute!! Erecting a green house in celebration of feeling better is weird??? Uh oh!!!! I may be weirder than I had thought!!

But
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! Woo hoooo!!! Happy dance time!!!! YIPPEE!!!

And you had better not be leaving us soon!! We have to know how the story of you doing battle with the monster (Lyme and friends) ends!!!

Yaaaaay silly sheep!

I am so so happy for you!! How sweet this is!!! This is a huge success and I am celebrating here with you:) You give so much hope to us that are where you once were.

I cannot wait for the the day to feel like - if this is as good as it gets that I can be ok with it! Enjoy your new found freedom from the hell these tbi's have shown you. I love that this has given you gratitude for the simple pleasures in life. That is the most beautiful gift that these experiences bring us.

Sending you my love and congratulations!!

Xoxo

great news, congrats !!

Congrats and it's not weird that you have forgotten what "normal" is. When we have long term symptoms, they become the new normal. I think in a way our brain rationalizes things to allow us to handle everything.

Glad to hear you are doing well. Keep it up.
Kim

Thank you so, so much guys for your cheering words of support :) I am hoping that this progresses on to cd's sucess stories thread :):)

Fantastic news!! Thank you for being so helpful even when you were feeling unwell.

Patty

silly sheep said...
Thank you so, so much guys for your cheering words of support :) I am hoping that this progresses on to cd's sucess stories thread :):)

You deserve it all...and then some :) I have no doubts we'll be reading your story on that thread :)

Such good news, Silly Sheep!!

I concur astroman!! I think a 'sample' few days would make most non-lymies baulk!!

I am adding to this post as I have unintentially become my own scientific experiment with regards to the dtox mutant genes, thanks to a logistical cock-up down at the pharmacy, I have run out of L-arganine as of yesterday. Today I feel like poop psychologically. Now, this could just be a 'bad day', or it could be the moon...who knows, lol!!

I have upped my detox and lowered my herbs, to no significant avail. Now this is not like my previous crashes, as I am aware of what is happening and holding it together really well - for which I am crediting Buhners 'brain herbs' that I am taking - but it will be interesting to see how this pans out and whether return to the L-arganine, when it appears, will make any difference, or not....I will keep you all posted on my human guinea pig status!!

Yup, Girlie, I think it's the lack of end date that is the kicker. Endurance has a lot to do with not actually being able to pin point a finish line. That is enough to drive the best of us to distraction!! I do know a few people who would baulk even given a few days taster and an end date, mind. I guess we are stronger than we think we are by comparison???

Soo, here’s a quick update!

I was really beginning to think that surely this must all be in my head, or due to something else entirely….how could one essentially very small part of my protocol make any real difference, and after all I had only missed a few doses of it. I must admit I was not feeling like a happy bunny, lol!

Anyhoodle, my L-arganine arrived this afternoon, so I took my usual dose and went off for a sulk in the greenhouse, feeling mightly peeved at the whole situation. And now here’s the interesting part – I didn’t realise that I was feeling better, I cannot pinpoint when it happened, but after a couple of hours I just realised that I did. I realised that I was no longer disconnected and tetchy etc, etc, and was actually enjoying myself again. Now that is very, very strange!! I was doing exactly the same thing that yesterday and this morning was doing nothing to make me feel any better, so go figure, lol!??!

I know that the moon is still almost full, so if it were that I should still feel like poop?? I can’t pin it on PMS or any dietary changes, and detox as I did yesterday I still continued to get worse and was still the same today. I can’t even blame the weather, lol!

Now, I know that this is anecdotal and not empirical scientific research by any stretch of the imagination, and I am not totally convinced that something that simple could have acted that fast, but I think via this unintended experiment I have deduced a couple of really important things.

Firstly, I have reached the understanding that, for me at least, no one part of the protocol is in itself the most important thing – I know that’s what Buhner gets at, but I hadn’t really taken on that point as being as significant as it is. Which therefore leads me to think that if you aren’t getting better then perhaps there is something else that needs attending to??

Which brings me to my other affirmation; that detoxing is crucial. Yes, I already knew that, but I guess that what that means for some folks is that if, like me, there is a detoxing hiccup somewhere then that is just as crucial a point to address as any bug killing. Nope, taking L-arganine alone isn’t going to cure me, but taking the other parts of the protocol without it doesn’t appear to help much either. Boy did I not enjoy those feelings rearing their ugly little heads, lol!! I am so, so glad that they have gone!!

The final thing I learned is that I do not wish to repeat this experiment, even in the interests of science, so I am having my mother ship out a crate load of the stuff and am not going to rely on the promises of the silly pharmacist…he’s off of my Christmas list, lol!!

Anyway, I am probably rambling on about stuff that most folks here already know, but you never know, it may be of use to some one somewhere!!??!!

Count me in with agreement that it's the whole protocol that's effective and not the individual elements....very much like whole herbs vs isolated constituents.

I am so happy for you, silly sheep, that you were able to identify just what was going on....and I recognize your new-found appreciation for whole protocols ;)

And, you have to know I also had that lesson ;)

Thank you for sharing as you did. You are correct that many of us can relate but those newer to this crazy journey benefit from hearing this stuff - especially when there's a happy ending :)