Hi Stacey!
Welcome to our community! I'm so glad you found us!
If you haven't yet, it would be helpful for you to start with reading through the thread at the top of the forum titled,"New to Lyme?...Start here!!", as it is packed full of important information, symptom lists, helpful links and pdf's, how to detox when one has these infections, information on probiotics and much more. And this is another good list of possible detoxing routines:
www.tiredoflyme.com/detox-methods.html Some come here and start abx and some come here and start with herbals. Some switch back and forth, and some do both. What we understand is that there is no one size fits all with these infections. We often need our own unique blend of supportive therapies and treatments in order to heal.
I'm one that tried abx first, then, after a disastrous time with them, I switched to an all herbal protocol and healed very well (although I did manage to get reinfected - ugh!).
If you have found that your body is responding to the natural treatments well, I would encourage you to either use an herbal only protocol or at least use an herbal protocol along side of the abx. Many people find out that they do much better when herbs are included in their treatments.
I would however encourage you to see a Lyme literate doctor, whichever why you choose to treat. They have been specifically trained, or are going through training, that will help you heal better.
And yes, it's quite possible that your struggles with depression were due to a herx - but sometimes that just how these infections hit us too. Please don't ever hesitate to reach out to someone when you are feeling really depressed, especially if self harm begins to be a concern. We are here (there is usually someone around), or we have some suicide prevention numbers listed in the "New to Lyme?" thread.
I would also encourage you to not use Lab Corp for your testing. They don't even use the right medium (the stuff in the petri dish) to do the testing properly. Igenex is our most reliable lab - but with as long as you've possibly been infected, it's very possible that you would still only get false negatives. Lyme inhibits (lowers) immune function, so our bodies don't make the antibodies that the tests are looking for. There are some things you can try in order to get your body to make some antibodies (one of which is draw blood while you are herxing from a treatment), but even then, your body may not produce enough antibodies to create a positive test.
I had to treat with abx for a full year before finally testing positive - and I was infected 37 years before my first test, 40 years before I found an effective protocol for me.
Keep asking questions and let us know how we can be of help!!