Lyme rage/marriage problems

I guess I just need to vent. I have emotional problems due to lyme...LYME RAGE. The thing is hubby gives me plenty of reason to be stressed..Lyme or no lyme!

let me elaborate.

First off...I have lyme. So of course I'm very sick. I work full time and he lost his job in January. He has been riding out his unemployment on the premise that his unemployment is more than what his paycheck would be if he was working anywhere around here (we relocated last year and he had a good job where we used to live, but opprtunities for him here aren't that great). But his thinking on this is just totally irresponsible! His benefits are running out in a month so he says he is going to get serious this next week and go find a job. He should have been serious about finding one MONTHS ago. Catch my drift?

My prediction: he will not find a job in that timeframe. We will live on my income which will not cover household bills and living expenses. and my lyme treatment will then be in total jeopardy since we won't be able to afford it.

Since he's not been working he has been completely lazy around the house. I work and come home expecting the house to be clean but it's not. Nothing gets done til the wknd when I'm off work since I'm too exhausted to do housework during the week. After literally crying, begging and pleading he will get a few dishes done. I just feel soooooo disrespected and let down.

Furthermore, i stress about his health as much as I do my own. He is diabetic and i watch him eat cookies, candy, drink beer---anything he desires while i stick to this very restrictive diet to better my health. He is very thin and unhealthy looking. He has skin sores that dont heal. He went to my lyme appointment and the doctor told him he probably has lyme too but he won't believe it. I feel like I'm constantly beating my head against the wall..you know? I'm a Christian but we are not equally yolked together. I don't have the guts to make him leave and my spirituality tells me to stick it out. But I know the burden of this whole thing is toxic. For me. ..my healing. I love him. He's my best friend!

I guess I need prayers for my marriage. If you pray...send one up for us. I don't know if we will make it, but i feel like I have to keep trying!

**I think I edited this well but my sleep meds are kicking in sooooo.....

Thank you girlie for responding. I just needed to vent obviously.

And obviously lyme further complicates situations that would be stressful for anyone to deal with.

Btw...I have been having those spine shivers you spoke about...and I'm starting antibiotics on Monday.
..

I hear you my fiancee has it too...more the rage ...i accidently put the wrong burner on for tea and long story short .i wqs accused of trying to burn the house down...she has aca on her hands and is getting thin...and has had foot drop and tooth cavitations and still shr asks me when am i going to think of anything about the future other than lyme.....iv abx are on their way next week. ...i am so jacked...this bleeping disease has robbed me of nearly everything in like 1 year ...love deep you love deep....i was unequally yoked and did not listen to my heart and it costed me bigtime...like ireparble

Bluelyme..I'm interested in hearing more of your "story" with lyme and relationship issues. And I'm sorry for the misery this disease has caused you!!

Girlie...I haven't asked my dr about the shivers. I haven't seen him since my initial appointment 5 weeks ago. I did get a call that I'm lyme positive per my bloodwork. I don't think I'm considered CDC positive. Tested positive for one band through labcor...excited about my appointment on Monday to learn more about all that. I have no idea what my treatment will entail. He did make it sound like he was putting me on orals. He mentioned he's not shy about putting an IV in but he said most of his patients do well on the orals...so we'll see.

Lovedeeply and bluelyme I so feel for you.

I can't imagine the relationship stress on top of lyme. I don't know how I could do that.

I have no wise words of wisdom. However I really think venting is a lot lifted off your shoulders and please feel free to vent here any time. In fact is is probably better vented here than at home.

I know this has to be horribly hard.

I am so angry at these bugs and myself and the medical system. And i am so frightened for my love ,my child and my future. But i will make a new post about all that ..

Regarding holy basil -- Clinical trials are lacking. In animal and in vitro experiments, effects of holy basil are largely attributed to antioxidant activity. Hypoglycemic activity and protective effects against noise stress have been studied, but clinical trials are lacking.

Dr. Axe says holy basil leaves are now regarded by most countries as adaptogen herbs (anti-stress agents) and have been used widely to promote health throughout the entire body.

I drink Tulsi tea and I think if it is an anti-stress it is very subtle towards my body.