Dad Died - I Am Getting Sicker - NEED HELP FAST PLEASE!

Hi Everyone,

FIRST, AN UPDATE SINCE MY LAST POST
My father passed away two days ago and I have been at his side every day since April 4th. Of course, I have suffered from exhaustion and adrenal fatigue - there was no way around it - I am the only family (plus my husband) responsible for his care, etc.

We are about to leave Seattle for Illinois, where he will be buried next to my mom. We will be gone for weeks.


AN UPDATE ON MY PROTOCOL
If I ever doubted I am dealing with stealth pathogens, I sure don't doubt it now. As feared and expected, this adrenal stress has thrown my body into a spiral at the absolute worst time...and now all of these symptoms create a vicious cycle because they increase my anxiety and fatigue, etc.

I mentioned in my last post that I would not increase any Buhner herbs during this time, unable to handle die-off. To clarify, I stuck to my plan and changed NOTHING during these past few months. I had only made it up to one drop a day of every Buhner herb for Lyme/Bart/Babs (I am highly sensitive to these herbs and herx like mad from one drop, so keep that in mind).


WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY BODY (sounds like Bartonella, doesn't it?????)
I feel like my body is overflowing with new symptoms that are making life and handling all of this stress unbearable. Here are all of the new and/or intensified symptoms:

PALMS OF HANDS RED AND ON FIRE

SOLES OF FEET RED AND ON FIRE

LOTS OF VIBRATIONS THROUGHOUT BODY/INCLUDING PALPITATION TYPE FEELINGS

LOTS OF TWITCHING THROUGHOUT BODY, ESPECIALLY LEGS FROM HIPS TO ANKLES

FEET SWELLING/WIDENING ON AND OFF THROUGHOUT DAY BUT NO PITTING...JUST EXPAND/CONTRACT

CAN SEE BLUE VEINS (not bulging) IN ARMS LIKE MY SKIN IS TRANSLUCENT

PAIN IN WHAT FEELS LIKE RIBS IN MY BACK, WRAPS ALL AROUND TO SIDES

BULGING VEINS ON TOPS OF HANDS LIKE AN ELDERLY PERSON - COMES AND GOES

INCREASED SENSITIVITY TO LIGHT AND SOUNDS

EYES BOTHERING ME - DRY, BLURRY VISION, PRESSURE BEHIND THEM

FATIGUE AND SPACINESS

WORSENING GI SYMPTOMS - WATERY DIARRHEA, DISTENTION, BURPING

***I am sure I am forgetting to add all of the odd things, but you get the idea


SO NOW WHAT? EVERY CHOICE SEEMS WRONG
I have kept my detoxing constant throughout this, too - detox tea, lemon water, nutramedix parsley/burbur/pinella, dry skin brush, activated charcoal.

Basically, I have changed nothing since April 4th, when my father went into the hospital. The only "change" is the emotional and physical stress since that time.

I have thought about just stopping EVERYTHING for awhile - but if I am being overrun by Bart (or Lyme, etc) then it could be catastrophic to stop right now....they could do me in!

I have thought about increasing herbs to fight what I now believe is Bartonella, but I herx a lot from any herb so I could get weaker and sicker at a time I need to get through this travel and funeral.

I have thought about doing nothing - but then I am guaranteed to continue with this misery.

Basically, I am paralyzed here, stuck in this terrible condition.


PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE chime in and give me your thoughts. Also, please do not take my lack of response as an insult or lack of interest......I am so busy right now trying to pack to leave. I will be reading and watching this thread, believe me!! I just don't have a lot of time to sit at a laptop. I will answer questions, if asked, as soon as I can find time.

Thank you so much...............Robin

Robin, first my deepest sympathies. I remember so well how devastated I was losing my dad and you losing yours makes me sad as I re-live mine.

I also think now is not the time to change anything. You are under a huge amount of stress and I don't think adding or changing treatment is a good idea until you handle your dad's affairs.

There is a grief time you need to take, and grieving and herxing are not a combo you want.

Be super nice to yourself and treat you as a patient you are caring for.

My heart is with yours as you endure your loss.

PeteZa and Girlie-
Thank you for your kind words and sharing your suggestions and symptoms........

Girlie, I am sorry you lost your father and had the additional pain of negative siblings making the process that much more difficult....

I know, in my current crisis, "what to do" is more important than "what the h**l is going on??!!" but I have two questions:

1. Girlie - are our shared symptoms then, in your opinion, Bartonella?

2. Can anyone explain (is there an explanation?) how this pathogen escalates and overruns during times of prolonged stress like this? I certainly had times in my life when I was under long periods of stress (lost mom suddenly in 2012) and I had no illness symptoms during THAT period. Did treatment bring them to the surface, so to speak, making me more vulnerable when crisis hit? The reason it is important is because I am a thinker and maybe I can soothe myself when I am feeling hopeless, saying to myself "this is to be expected" instead of WHAT IS HAPPENING?? If that makes sense?

ursamajor68 said...
PeteZa and Girlie-
Thank you for your kind words and sharing your suggestions and symptoms........

Girlie, I am sorry you lost your father and had the additional pain of negative siblings making the process that much more difficult....

I know, in my current crisis, "what to do" is more important than "what the h**l is going on??!!" but I have two questions:

1. Girlie - are our shared symptoms then, in your opinion, Bartonella?

2. Can anyone explain (is there an explanation?) how this pathogen escalates and overruns during times of prolonged stress like this? I certainly had times in my life when I was under long periods of stress (lost mom suddenly in 2012) and I had no illness symptoms during THAT period. Did treatment bring them to the surface, so to speak, making me more vulnerable when crisis hit? The reason it is important is because I am a thinker and maybe I can soothe myself when I am feeling hopeless, saying to myself "this is to be expected" instead of WHAT IS HAPPENING?? If that makes sense?

I thought my symptoms were all bart...(I do have more than what I share with you...lucky me) - but after treating bart (and previously lyme) - for about 7 months...I have now started Babesia treatment (on my own) - to see if that's holding me back.

I don't know how stress is involved. When my father died, I had only been on treatment for about 5 months...and the event did not exacerbate the symptoms...I was sad...but not stressed...if that makes sense.
But continued treatment - while I lost symptoms, others ramped up...new ones showed up...along with my brother and sister making my life difficult...just pure nastiness...things got worse for me.

So, not sure how the stress works...why the sadness and loss didn't seem to exacerbate my symptoms...but other stress did.

((((Ursamajor 68)))) - my thoughts and prayers are with you and trust that God will somehow bring peace, comfort and hope to you and your family during this difficult time. Please take good care of yourself, Ursamajor68.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. It's so tough to be a care giver when you have your own battle to fight. My mom went through a 3 or 4 year decline and I was the one looking after her and making decisions for her. I lost her a couple of years ago, but I still feel the results. It impacted my thyroid and adrenals the most and I'm in between doctors now. Make sure you have yours checked since they could be part of the puzzle.

I'm sorry you have to be gone so long too. I hope you're able to get a decent amount of sleep. Keep us posted on how you're doing.

(((((hugs))))

Dearest Robin,

I am so very, very sorry for your loss.. When I lost my Dad I went into shock and once the shock passed I cried for months as I was so close to my Dad. A couple of years later I lost my baby brother to cancer and I'm still dealing with that loss.. Currently I am a caretaker for my 90 year old Mom and I travel from Vermont to Long Island to see and help her. It's not easy.

Please take time for yourself to grieve.. Be kind to yourself and as PeteZa said now is not the time to change anything...

My heart goes out to you (darn, I have tears in my eyes) and I will keep you and your Dad in my prayers.

Big, big hugs,
Denise

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad 11/14 and crashed 01/15....it may have been the catapult that brought me to my knees with this disease, I don't know.

One of the things that comes to mind is that possibly you are in need of energy healing right now? You may want to look into finding a reiki practitioner where you are going? It seems as though there is not much physically you can do right now, but reiki is such a wonderful force and helps with clearing some of the other "stuff" that you drag around with you due to the stress and grief.

I wish you the best - I think that it's really hard for us "little girls" to loose our Dads....prayers being said for your healing and strength.

Jenny

jennysetter said...


I wish you the best - I think that it's really hard for us "little girls" to loose our Dads....prayers being said for your healing and strength.

So true.