julymorning said...
I am beyond late stage with the Lyme. Throw in the positive RMSF results on top a year ago and the age that I am and I'm done in. I pushed for the abx's and the herxing as everyone knows bring you to the brink of death and I have decided this morning I don't have it in me to fight any more. It's coming at me from all parts and I don't have a smidgeon of the resources to deal with it.
On top of that having the only 2 people in my life not even begin to understand that this is shutting my body down beyond my control, I am just going to let it run it's course to whatever end.
I admire everyone of you that have been able to push yourselves to get through this,and prayers for all of you still fighting. It's been 24 years since my first positive test, with a probable 8 years of misdiagnosed infection prior to that, coupled with everything else that may or may not be related, I am beat.
Please don't give up! I'm far from the only one with a story like mine and have healed!! I was infected for 40 years (age 7), when I was finally diagnosed, the LLMD told me I had every single one of the tick-borne infections and that I would be lucky to heal with 10 - 15 years of treatment. The abx just wasn't the route my body could take though, so the abx made me much, much more ill.
I was bed bound and literally couldn't function. I couldn't read or write, couldn't follow written or oral instructions or follow any patterns, much less spell well enough to be online (not even spellcheckers could help!). I 'set to' though, because I knew I didn't want to live like that at least, and learned how to help my body detox and heal with a great deal of supporting different organs and systems in my body - and I healed!!
I was foolish to not recognize the signs that I was allowing too much stress in my life, so my adrenals came crashing down, taking my thyroid an immune function with it - and then got reinfected, so I'm back in treatment, but healing once more. This time I'll be paying close attention to my stress levels the whole time though!! A hard lesson to learn, but boy did I learn it!
These infections are not a quick way to go, you are much, much better off to fight for your healing. There are so many different ways that people are healing now, all you have to do is keep fighting and keep trying until you find one that works for you! I was the first one to not use a LLMD and use herbs to heal on this forum, and it wasn't easy as there wasn't a lot of support - until they saw that I started healing. To their credit, I then began to get quite a lot of support, even though they didn't have any idea what I was doing! LOL!
You will be able to find that kind of support here too. Many of the members here use something other than abx - many use a combination of abx and other alternative healing methods. It's finding what's right for you that's the hardest.
Hang in there and keep fighting, believe me, it's worth it!!