So much information, feeling VERY overwhelmed...Normal?

Hi,

You all have been great in responding to my initial newbie post. Lyme's seems so COMPLICATED! Reduce inflammation, but not TOO much, on the right path but then get worse with "herxing," detox a certain way in different stages... I know diseases can be complicated but man alive, what chaos a little tick can cause! I'm almost afraid to eat or drink ANYTHING now. Of COURSE, the day before my doctor called with the news, I spent $300 at the grocery store and it seems to be all the stuff I should NOT be consuming (grains, dairy, etc.) I'm used to drinking a Bragg Apple Cider Vinegar-Cinnamon drink a couple times a week and bought 20 bottles--is this drink too much for me right now (just Dx, on Doxy day 3)? My mom always touted the benefits of apple cider vinegar so I'm just used to it. I also have one cup of coffee faithfully every morning or I get a headache (Stevia packet in it with a bit of half and half).

I'm also concerned because my bulls-eye rash on my back shoulder blade looks a bit better, but the rash from behind my left ear to below my collarbone seems to have a new circular shaped "more red" area maybe two or so inches under my ear, about the size of a nickel. It was NOT there yesterday. What's up with THAT!?! Please don't tell me I could have been bitten twice--my luck cannot be THAT bad. Plus I'm already on Doxy, nothing should be getting worse--I'm thinking it should be getting BETTER.

I err on the side of caution; I'm optimistic (as PeteZa pointed out, LOL) that I'll be "cured" after my 21 day dose of Doxy, that it was caught very early, etc. However; I'm a realist, and as we all want, just to be proactive and informed. I have a high stress life as it is (all things I cannot help, losing my Mom recently after caretaking for a few years of Alzheimer's, my brother-in-law in ICU with a heart attack and my sister a mess, the loss of my 10 year old nephew from Leukemia, re-entry into workforce soon and not least by far, actively managing PTSD from the death of my 5 year old daughter several years ago that happened in front of me ...) The vacation to the Pacific Northwest was so needed--and then this.

As the "glass is always half full" kind of person, I'm lucky that way; I have patience and a good sense of humor and abundance of hope that things can always be better tomorrow. I'm just venting I guess because everyone here unfortunately knows, Lymes SUCKS--and I am only three days into it. I have to read, carefully, the newbie info thoroughly. I have to learn about the coinfections, for sure. This medicine does not make me feel good, at all. I want to push it all out of my mind and forget I have it, it seems my mind just can't open a new compartment for yet again something else. Thanks for taking time to read. Hugs to everybody here...

I love Bragg's apple cider drinks. The apple cinnamon is like drinking an apple pie. I love the grape - I pretend it is a good merlot. LOL!

Lyme is extremely overwhelming in the beginning.

Lesson No. 1 - lyme loves and thrives on stress. You have to learn to be calm. This was not easy for me.

I also had to learn to say NO. No volunteering, no bringing the casserole, no helping you move! I had to save every bit of strength to heal and just maintain my own space.

And then there was the lesson in patience. I am a type A personality with a huge dose of perfectionist in me. Anxiety was easy for me which just made depression easy for me too.

Patience needed to be painted on my living room wall. This was not an illness that was going to be done slam bam. It was going to take effort and consistency.

I had to make it the priority of my life and had to explain this to those I love.

You can do this Lynda! If I can with all the road blocks I had built into me, you surely can do this!!

And your loss of your daughter rings home to me. I watched my 38 year old daughter die of breast cancer in 2009. Hugs of comfort to you on your loss. It is not easy for a Mom to have a child die. But, my faith says that we will be together again for eternity.

Lynda, You certainly have had a lot to deal with. I am so sorry for the losses in your life.

I wanted to address the rash. I have heard many times that the rash can appear in different places and at different times. My sister-in-laws brother had a rash disappear and reappear for days from Lyme. She said it was always in a different spot. So hopefully that will make you feel better! The abx itself could probably bring it out. Also feeling worse, before you feel better is the norm unfortunately!

I am so glad you feel welcomed here! It is such a great place to vent or ask questions.

You have been through the ringer and back....so very sorry for your losses. More people on my prayer list.

I don't know if you've ever heard the phrase "life happens when we have plans" but it's clear you've lived a lot of that already and, yep, now it's Lymetime - blech.

There was a lot of unavoidable stress for me in my early days of Lyme....my business was scheduled to move the month after my first appointment with my LLMD. Prep had been going on for two years prior and the new space had to be readied. Of course, there were contractor problems.

Shortly after my business was settled in and I was starting to catch up with backlog, my mother's not-the-best-health took some turns for the worse. She's 90 miles away from me with NYC in between. I'm lucky if I get there within 2.25 hrs. That went on for months.

Good stuff happened, too....my middle son got married, my oldest son became a father for the 2nd time. And I am definitely forgetting stuff lol

All of this stuff had to "fit" within my treatment.

It was not uncommon for me to not increase one of my doses so I could maintain the status quo...and not worry about herxing which can be like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're going to get.

Setting boundaries, determining priorities and setting easy goals went a long way for me...along with cutting myself some slack. Thankfully, my immediate family was and is understanding and supportive....not so much with my two sisters.

There's always something ;)

Still, you found your way to this place and I can tell you that the information shared helped me figure out what is bringing me to healing.

It's a lot about listening to your body and trusting your gut.

Step by step we climb the mountain....and stopping to take a deep breath once in awhile is a good idea ;)

You can do this.

You are very important to more people than you will ever know. You have a grand purpose here. Our little pea brains just can't fathom the whole enchilada.

You will be fine Lynda, I just know it. You have a strength in you for others and now you just redirect that to you.

It will be a challenge, I know all too well how challenging this is. But you will not lose your love for mankind and the uplifting and encouraging you give to others. You just need to take some time to be a little more selfish about your health.

Once you get this, you can soar to wellness!! You will be back to care for others just as I have done. But right now..... you are number one. And as a mother, that is hard to accept. Mothers are never number one, but in order for those around you to have you, you have to be number one for just a wee bit.

Good luck my friend.

Lynda ..welcome to the school of hard knocks ...like we hadnt had enough. I really believe it was the trauma that reduce my immune system so that long to take a foothold. it is also very much proven that Alzheimer's is linked to lyme...you will be smarter than most docs by the end ...sending love and healing .do not count on the doxy ...try to get your 30 days of rocephin if you are cdc positive ..but do see a llmd ..if you have not been to lymenet there are a lot resources there ..please read burrascano's guidlines. ..and watch justinandcristie.ca and under our skin ...