Lyme and work

I force myself to do it, because I have to, if I want to continue paying for medications to try and get better. Though, that's not to say that I overexert myself. I'm not going to jeopardize my health TOO much, because what's the point, if you're making yourself sicker by stretching your body and mind too thin?

I'm fortunate enough to have a job that I'd consider to be not easy, but not terribly hard either. Some days, it hurts, but, ultimately, it's nothing I can't push through, recover from, and keep striving for better.

Now, in saying what I'm about to say, I'm not trying to imply that rest, time to focus solely on yourself, without worry of having to work for the means to support your needs, isn't what is necessary for you, or anyone, but I used to be in that state of mind as well, like, I can't work like this.. I can't do X activity like this, and so on.

Then, I realized that I didn't really have a choice. There are sides of my life that went unattended for years, because of Lyme, that I really can't afford to not consider anymore.

I recently started going to school again, and it sucks. I've gotten good grades so far, but it's taken a lot of work, mentally and physically. I've cried a lot, beat myself up a lot, because it is kind of a painful experience, you know?

Of course, I try not to do these things, but some days.. I can't help it. I don't wanna feel any less than what I feel I should be in my heart. I wanna feel smart, healthy, and happy, all around. I want to be able to do things without feeling the weight of my illnesses trying to drag me down. I'm sure you can understand that.

I hate struggling, but.. that's just life. I tell myself it builds character, and just deal with it.

I got this crap 8 years ago, didn't know, didn't notice it for a couple years (very mild, slow-to-mount neurological symptoms that I attributed to not being in school, stimulating my mind, not being as social, etc), and then didn't know what I was dealing with for a couple more years after that, even though I knew I was sick with something.

I know it's not the right mentality to have, thinking that I've lost out on that time, that it's all a waste, because it's not. I've learned a lot from this, I've grown a lot, and, if/when more health comes to me, I'll really be able to apply a lot of these lessons towards bettering myself even further. It hasn't been a waste, at least not entirely.

Part of me would rather have just had those 8 years though. Normal kid, normal life.. normal relationships, been done with college, in the workplace, etc. Heck, I used to be something of a creative before all of this. I may have been able to escape that 9-5 life.

But, anyway.. I've kind of strayed from the point I was trying to make, which is that.. do what you gotta, take whatever time you can get for yourself, figure things out, appeal to your boss' empathy, sympathy, whatever - appeal to his human side, make him/her care, if you can.. same for the disability people (try to get diagnosed with something that CAN work, like fibro or CFS, though I have no experience with this.. dunno if those will work).. but.. know that someday.. you might just have to suck it up.

I don't mean to be cold, dismissive, anything like that.. I do understand, and I do feel for you.

I'd rather stay home too.. most days, but I can't.. I need to pay the internet people for my herbs, oils, and supplements, and eventually try to save to see an LLMD, and I need to go to school and get me some of them credits, so I can be a learned adult someday, and have a big boy job. lol

Anyway.. I'm sorry, if this response isn't what you were looking for..

I've found that I often use people's posts as a means to express my own thoughts and feelings on the topic at hand, or something similar. I guess I'm selfish like that..

But.. I do wish the best for you. *hugs*

edit: Granted, my health heavily impacts what I can manage, of course, and it affects my chances for success. I could very well crash and burn, one of these days, but at least I'll have tried.. right? That's all I really care about. Success would be great, but I just don't wanna have the world thinking me weak, or a quitter, when it's all said and done.

Not knowing what symptoms you're dealing with right now, my best advise is to concentrate on detoxing on the most regular basis you can, try to use natural abx or other nonpharm methods and try your best to keep stress(mental and physical) at bay. Work on keeping your immune system in top shape.

Is it possible to work as a freelancer in your profession?
In that way you would be able to create your own schedule and still have income.

Can you take a few more months off? If so, that would be the best way to go about this. It gives your body a change to be further along in healing without the added stress of working.

Lyme disease is not listed as a condition that we qualify for disability on. It's all about how much your symptoms interfere with your job. I would encourage you to see if your state has temporary disability that you can use, or the company that you work for may have some form of temporary disability.

If not, can you just work less hours weekly? That would even be a help to your healing.

If none of these are options you can use, then you have to find ways to work around it. If you don't heal, you can't continue to work, yet you can't continue to work if you don't heal. A really hard place to find yourself in, and yet so many of us do. I found myself in that situation nearly 25 years ago - only I didn't know it was all from Lyme and company.

Here is some good information for disability related to CFS.

www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/getting-disability-benefits-chronic-fatigue-syndrome.html

Acs, it's absolutely brutal and I have nuero lyme and heart problems too and I'm absolutely miserable. Luckily, I have family support so if I donly end up taking this year off, I have a place to stay with my 2 kids and food. My mom is a,nurse too so that helps. I'm actually in Canada visiting family at the moment but my symptoms haven't gotten any better. I thought maybe a change of scenery would help but it hasn't.

I could possibly be put back on the sub list so of I feel good for a day, I could potentially sub whenever I can. That way, I'm still making money.