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Feel so defeated/hopeless

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Lyme Disease
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Posted 8/24/2016 4:19 AM (GMT 0)
It seems like the more I learn about this disease, the more I realize how unlikely it is to ever be completely well. If it's not one thing it's the other. I can't explain the amount of sadness and grief that I'm experiencing today/tonight, but I'm sure most of you know exactly the feeling I'm talking about. Sometimes I wish that I had a disease that wasn't a mystery.

I feel like I'm drowning in a sea called Lyme disease, and the more I fight, the farther under I go. cry
Posted 8/24/2016 4:32 AM (GMT 0)
Yep. Been there. Am there
Posted 8/24/2016 5:18 AM (GMT 0)
I feel this way every day.
Posted 8/24/2016 5:55 AM (GMT 0)
It is not hopeless. I know it can feel that way. Don't give in. I have been there too.

Do you have a good doctor you trust? I strongly feel that a good doctor who can figure out the pieces of your unique puzzle is really important. I have had 2 Lyme doctors. The second is much better at figuring things out and guiding me.

It is important to keep trying. If one thing does not work, try something else. You will get there. I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. It will get better.
Posted 8/24/2016 7:01 AM (GMT 0)
I just got good news from lnet ...eva sapi is releasing info on venom ..it does kill the spirochetes ..and the nurse at lyme clinic says the ones that graduate use the venom . Watch ted talks anthong holland ..buy a microscope ..
keep fighting ..i almost jumped off a bridge today but tomarrow i fight again with hope
Posted 8/24/2016 2:51 PM (GMT 0)
I know how you feel... it's very uncomfortable to live in my body... the burning, numbing, hurting, twitching.... Lyme and bart made me go from a superman to I don't even know who I'm anymore. 😭😭😭
Posted 8/24/2016 3:07 PM (GMT 0)
I'm just tired. I keep going, and my body just doesn't like it. I wish I could stop and rest, but I have to keep going. Sigh.
Posted 8/24/2016 3:16 PM (GMT 0)
Venom. Like snake venom? Sorry I'm lost. Lol
Posted 8/24/2016 4:49 PM (GMT 0)
Bee venom ..but i wanna try some homopathic rattler ...
Posted 8/26/2016 10:46 PM (GMT 0)
I feel like doing absolutely nothing today. I have no motivation to live, to fight, to do anything. I feel so restless. Nothing contents me tonight. I get in these moods and don't know how to get out. I literally don't want to exist today. Nothing makes me happy. Nothing helps. I could go visit with friends, but I have no motivation to move. I could go to a coffee shop or to a bookstore, but even that doesn't seem to tempt me to move. I could read, but that doesn't interest me at all. The only thing that seems appealing is to take my Ambien and escape the world for a while. I don't think I want to die. Just escape. This state is very dangerous for me.
Posted 8/26/2016 11:14 PM (GMT 0)
I feel you MA10, everyday is a struggle for me and for my family now because of me. I feel like a burden on them. The only thing that I look forward to is going to sleep, to escape from all the pain. I dread waking up and have zero motivation.
Posted 8/26/2016 11:22 PM (GMT 0)
It's hard to be super motivated to live our lives. Ha. I don't know many people who would be super pumped about waking up to a living nightmare. Some days are just harder for me to string together enough motivation to do anything more than just exist. And even existing makes me restless today. I think it's my old mentality of, "it's Friday night. I should be doing something," that is getting me in trouble today. Because I don't think I can physically do anything tonight. Just be here. But even being here is a struggle.
Posted 8/27/2016 12:40 AM (GMT 0)
I know exactly what you are saying. I have a part time job that I had to go to and on those days where I had to go and work, I actually felt better.

Even if all you do is walk around the perimeter of your house, make a plan and do it.

I think being busy gave my brain no time to think depressing stuff.

And then, there is always tomorrow!! The sun will come out tomorrow.
Posted 8/27/2016 12:51 AM (GMT 0)
This disease is far from hopeless brother. It is painful. It is miserable. It is hard to keep your head up but hopeless it is not and I am not aware of anything about this disease that can't be overcome. That said I feel kind of defeated myself. Thought I was on the path forward and am now suffering a major set back. But it is only a setback, not a dead end. I hope we find our ways out of this
Posted 8/27/2016 1:40 AM (GMT 0)
I hope that's what this is. (A set back.)Just my body's way of saying, "whoa, buddy. You're not as invinsible as you thought you were." I pushed it pretty hard this week, and even though I didn't push as hard as I could have, I must have still gone a little far. I've been in bed since 2:00 this afternoon, and it's now 8:30. Been asleep for most of that time. But when I've been awake, my brain has been extremely negative. I don't know if I'm getting sick or just tired, but it's been rough. All I wanted to do was use my time off work today to do something fun. But all I ended up doing was sleeping. Oh well. Maybe tomorrow.
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