saozemko said...
Thanks, it really depends onthe day what is going on. It really makes me think that it is all in my head. I mean just today, i am literally EXHAUSTED. Took all my effort to get out of bed, walking up stairs is a strain, and huffing and puffing, little to no motivation at all.. once I actually sit and stop is when the aches in the shoulders and neck start. I know I have asked this before on here but it just seems so weird to me, like this is all in my head.... I was pretty energetic lst night, was able to clean kitchens, bathrooms, read a little before bed and was not literally falling asleep while reading.. today i am sitting here at work, using all the energy i have just to type, ... what.. the.. heck...
I really feel what you're saying. I drive myself crazy trying to figure out why I feel good one day or one minute and then can't even walk up the stairs the next. I over analyze what I did that day, what medicine I took, what I ate, what could possibly cause such a dramatic and seemly random change in the way I feel. But thats no way to live. Firstly, just know its not all in your head! I've finally started to accept that I'm going to have good days and bad days and while I feel like I can't come up with any explanation, the explanation is just Lyme. Before I was diagnosed I thought all of my symptoms were in my head, I thought I was just overly tired and that everyone must feel this way. But that is so not the case. Since my diagnosis its been easier for me to acknowledge that my symptoms are real and not just in my head. Illness takes such a toll on the body and Lyme especially. We may not know why we feel good one day and bad the next and its very frustrating but life with illness is not easy and often not entirely explained.
Invisible illness makes it almost impossible to get validation for your symptoms. But this is where listening to and trusting yourself comes in. You have to tell yourself that its not in your head and that what you're feeling is real. I have really struggled with this. I would always tell myself, "well I look fine and everyone else thinks I'm fine and I'm showing up at work so I MUST be fine!" but thats so not true because I never felt fine and I never was fine and it took all of my energy to show up to school or work that day. I was sick, I just hadn't gotten any validation so I told myself that I was just making it up. Trust yourself and trust your diagnosis. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad and I know how frustrating this is! I hope answers are out there for you and I hope you feel better soon, but for now trust yourself and keep your head up! And don't be afraid to take a day off if you need to.