Hey All,
I believe it is time to share my story, as it is finally becoming a positive one, and I hope it to be motivating to others, especially with the dawn of a new year. I also owe it to those who have helped me to hear what they have done for me.
I will start by saying I was a fairly active, coherent person; sharp, quick and full of confidence.
It started with a tick bite in October of 2014 (I thought it was a spider because it was so large). I saw it on my leg and panicked and smacked it off (doh!). Little did I know what was actually being injected into me when I squished that little ****** against my skin.
Weeks later I had a small rash (just a red splotch about
4" in diameter w/ no bulls eye), after about
a month of being sick on and off work with no idea what was happening to me. The flu finally left when I went on 21 days of doxy.
As the months went on symptoms of all kinds came and went, they all had the "lyme disease" commonality, but from the reassurance of multiple Dr's I assumed I was fine. These symptoms must have just been my aging body, right? (I'm 30 now).
Over the next year my GP took random stabs at what could be wrong with me, none of which gave me any concrete answers. As I began doing more and more research I began to go down the rabbit hole into the crazy head games this disease plays with you.
Depression, anxiety, pain, not healing from wounds etc etc etc started happening regularly. This was the new me I feared. I lost 8+ months of work on and off, when I was at work, I did poorly at my job and just couldn't wait to get home and have some beers and smoke weed to forget about
the symptoms for the rest of the day. Try explaining that to your insurer/employer (as I'm sure you all know the pain of). Lost wages, the stress on my relationship with my wife. The changes that were happening were all destroying the life I was so optimistic about
. Every trip to the ER with no answers felt like another nail in the coffin. My life was falling apart in front of me.
So... I then went to this forum, and posted a short little excerpt about
my symptoms and past few years. The response was overwhelming. I finally found people that were telling me I wasn't crazy and I was probably on the right track. This was the first time I had support about
my gut feeling aside from my mom. Everyone else believed I was becoming a hypochondriac.
To cut out a good chunk which I'm sure you are all aware of, I started seeking a diagnosis and treatment. I had never had to be so in charge of my own health before, but I couldn't just take it lying down. Some of the contacts I made on this board led me to others in my area, and I began seeing the same physicians names come up.
Appointments were a long ways away, and I was fading quickly. I read and applied Buhners protocol. Things got BAD. I was an 80 year old man in a 30 year old body. Barely able to make food for myself after mustering all my might. I truly wanted to die just to have a break from the constant pestering of the bugs inside me.
After 3 months of Buhners, treatment fatigue set in and I slowly collapsed and fell back to my better feeling, but weaker self. Fast forward 3 months and I finally had an appointment with my LLMD. Within 30 minutes of starting our appointment, he had no doubt that I was dealing with Lyme, Bartonella (Lab confirmed) and suspected Babesia. I was finally prescribed anti-biotics. It was one of the few times I have cried since the hormones of my teenage years fleeted.
I currently have been taking Doxy (400mg/day), zithro (500mg/day), plaquinel (500mg/day) for 2 months. Under the advise of my LLND I have not started my Babesia meds (the anti-malarial) as she fears this will send my back into a depression for something she doesn't believe I am dealing with. She thinks it would be smarter to add then in if I plateau, and I agree. She has studied with Dr H, and has been a huge advocate for the people of my area.
So far, I have begun to sleep better, my head is straighter, my depression and anxiety are at 15-20% of what they were. I still have days where I feel like I've had too many beers (even thought I don't drink). But, I am getting better and I know it. My brain isn't on fire every day anymore. My bones don't hurt as intensely or as deeply. I am quicker with my wit again and able to keep conversations going instead of staring at people blankly, pretending I'm listening when I just can't muster the focus.
Anyways... I could write a novel, as I'm sure you all do enough reading daily, this won't be necessary. I just wanted to get out and share that I am improving, and it's thank to this community and the support I received from it.
I hope it is an inspiration to others to know that I just got home from drinking all night with some friends at a new years party that I have been unable to truly engage with in years. I survived the night, I had a blast, I HAD ALCOHOL! I also woke up happy to be alive, something that hasn't been felt in awhile for me. Drinking and partying until the wee hours of the morning will not become a regular thing for me, but i thought it was important to share because it gives a hint that a normal life likely is and will be possible again.
Sorry it is so long winded, and vague. I just wanted to share the fact that I am finally on a smoother road, and to say thank you to all of you, and wish you all a Happy New Year. Thank you all for being one of the key components to regaining my health. I hope you all find 2017 to be an even better year than 2016.
-Nothing but love,
Asmoline
