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Posted 7/14/2017 6:30 PM (GMT 0)
This is a subject that not too many people want to touch on especially me. Especially when you were accused of being crazy or having mental problems before our Lyme diagnosis. But I just feel like this needs to be talked about more. I have nobody to really talk to about this because I don't want nobody to be concerned or misjudge me. Before Lyme a year ago my mindset was pretty clear, I didn't overthink nor did I hardly ever think bad. Now my mindset has gone terribly darker. And to be honest it's scaring me so bad but I know it's the Lyme. But it still doesn't make it better. Especially since I'm a Jesus Lover but for the past few months I've been thinking blasphemous things about God, Jesus, faith ext.. not just that I feel constantly doomed I am having nightmares I fear for my kids a lot and I just seem to be thinking the ugliest things like what would happen in a horror movie. I feel like I can't think, or even pray for a couple of seconds without visually or thinking something bad in my head. I'll be playing with my kids and my mind just goes dark. I've distance my self from everyone because I just dont want to put myself around my family while like this. I don't even feel comfortable being around my kids alone. Sometimes it's not bad. But since I started treatment its just been worse. I feel better when I keep my self busy but it's also hard to do that when you feel so sick. I'm about to start seeing a counselor. But i'm also scared to start revealing too much information. Y'all understand but I feel like they won't. I don't want to be labeled as crazy or anxious or depressed. I had enough of that before I was properly diagnosed. I can't stress to you enough how this is the complete opposite of me. I'm trying to ignore the thoughts. But sometimes they just take over. I've become bitter, angry, jealous, and more. THIS IS NOT ME. Please just someone tell me that this gets better. My family deserves to have the real me back. The biggest thing for me is my faith in GOD. How Is anything going to make things right with me and HIM after what I felt in my mind/heart. How am I going to have a relationship with him if This doesn't stop? I'm just feeling horrible. It's not even fair because I was well and now i'm not just sick physically, but spiritually & mentally too.

Post Edited (Traci) : 7/14/2017 12:34:57 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 7/14/2017 7:04 PM (GMT 0)
I am so sorry to hear you going through this...I can relate a few years back. I honestly don't know how it went away. Do you have compulsions also like flipping switches, picking at skin, washing hands etc? I didn't have any compulsions. I read a book on OCD that detailed a form of ocd without compulsions as "pure-o" perhaps you could google it.

I always linked it to strep infection or PANDAS...

I chose to never specifically share that symptom with the docs, like you. I think Albert Ellis psychology books helped me at that time also. Also perhaps look into the vitamin supplement inositol and maybe even a DNA test for mthfr mutations.

Do you have an llmd, perhaps it would be safe to share the intrusive thoughts in general with them? I don't see why you would have to share the content of the thoughts.

Just never forget you are not those thoughts. It is like a phobia, you can learn to not believe the crappy thought and eventually reduce its horrible power.

You will get through this. Keep praying and consider your options. I am not a Dr just a fellow Lyme sufferer, but one who made it through a period like yours.

God bless

Doors12
Posted 7/14/2017 7:12 PM (GMT 0)
If it makes you feel any better.... I am going through the same thing. Actually my main complaint with Lyme is neuro-psychiatric with horrible headaches and besides the depression, anxiety,panic, obsessive/intrusive thoughts it almost feels like a hung-over feeling.

Oh by the way you have nothing to be ashamed about. Intrusive thoughts along the lines of OCD are usually sexual, violent,homicidal themes. Things that you would never do. Do not be ashamed and tell your doctor that you are going through a bout of pure-o's (OCD).

I am going through the same thing right now and it sucks! I started getting sick the end of March and a month later I woke up with neuro-psychiatric symptoms. I even started taking Prozac but it is not helping. I had a good few days this week but woke up again yesterday with a horrible headache, gloomy/hung over feeling, stuck with the intrusive thoughts. Mine are sexual based. It really sucks. Because I am not that person. If you want someone to talk to without feeling judged please email me.

If anyone knows how to relieve these symptoms please tell us!

Post Edited (chrisespo) : 7/14/2017 1:25:57 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 7/14/2017 7:37 PM (GMT 0)
hi Traci, sorry to hear you are going through that level of mental anguish. it's horrible, I've been there!

I was thinking about how we can get into some of these discussions in a even more anonymous format so we can share freely without the fear of even people here judging one. it would be interesting if we found a way to anonymize sensitive posts. (So it wouldn't even show as "Traci") this opens the door to more disclosure and honest feedback.

that aside, what are you doing for Neuro?

I'm a supplement guy. I've gotten a lot better from depression and fog and negative thoughts by taking lots of:

* Fish oil (in large dosis it is *brain* anti-inflammatory)
Phosphatidyl Choline
* Phosphatidyl Serine
* Vitamin D3 (10K IU per day) + K2
B5-B6
IV Vitamin C / IV Gluthatione
L-Ornithine L-Aspartate (LOLA) -- bind up Ammonia or something in the brain, clears fog.
Mucuna + L-theanine (if you have a Dopamine deficiency based depression)

While the gut is central to our immune system, the brain runs the show! IMO it's critical to address brain inflammation and provide core neurotransmitter building blocks to stabilize us while our body fights.

my suggestion if you can is to start with those (*) at a minimum. even if it just helps a little that is progress in my book.

Caramba!

Post Edited (caramba) : 7/14/2017 1:42:06 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 7/14/2017 7:41 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I had horrible anxiety and bouts of depression early on with this disease.
I was never ever depressed or had anxiety in my entire life before lyme.


Are you doing anything specifically to detox your brain?

A couple ideas:

- Nutramedix Pinella (I pair it with the Burbur)

or

Jernigan's Neuro Anti-tox - CNS/PNS


Maybe try one of those and see it it helps you..
Posted 7/14/2017 7:44 PM (GMT 0)
Lyme thoughts are not your thoughts.

Lyme feelings neither.

They go all away with treatment.

It's no wonder that many lyme patients need the KPU protocol. This was initially designed to treat mental patients, with good results.

I do think disease affects our feelings and thoughts, and I swear that I don't even remember all the dark thoughts I had been through during lyme.

they aren't you.

there is a wonderful treatment that makes me feel calm almost immediately, that is called Stress Relief. These are energetic drops, and they work like magic for us.
Posted 7/15/2017 3:47 AM (GMT 0)
I am really sorry to hear your are struggling so much, Traci. It really sucks. There is no way to sugar coat it. But please do know that you are not alone. And please always remind yourself and tell yourself that the real you does not have these thoughts. And that these thoughts are not the truth, not reality. It is the infections totally messing with your brain. AND IT IS TEMPORARY.

We are all impacted differently from these infections. While I do not have mental side effects personally, I know many others who do and it is terrible and terrifying.

And I promise you that your mind will heal as you continue to push through treatment, stay on meds, detox like a wild woman, and get yourself to the other side. I am not quite on the other side just yet, but I am determined to get there. I know we all will get there.

So stay strong, be brave and know that you are not alone and we are all here for you.
Posted 7/15/2017 2:07 PM (GMT 0)
God understands what you are going through and he is a forgiving God. It took me awhile to start thinking of Him again. With treatment this type of thinking will go away. I know how it is all consuming but I also knew it was from the infections. I am not embarrased and freely talk about those experiences. Hang in there, Traci. It will get better.

Patty. xo
Posted 7/16/2017 12:01 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone for all the replies and suggestions. I'm sorry I'm getting back to you so late but I have been feeling extremely horrible. I made a appointment with my lyme doctor and I'm going to see what else she can help me with. The first time I started treatment was two months ago I was on doxycycline for 20 days then my lyme doctor added in the cyst buster tindamax. I was taking it 3 days then I stopped all treatment because I was severely sick. I was off treatment for a month before I got the courage to get back on it. I've been on for 4 days and I already want to stop again because I'm getting so sick. I'm drinking lemon water, taking detox baths, Liposomal Glutathione supplements, activated charcoal, and dry skin brushing so far. I don't have any brain detox supplments yet but I'm going to talk to my doctor to see what else I can be doing and what she recommends. I'm going to purchase pinella and burber because of the good things I hear about it. But right now moneys really tight because i'm behind on bills and pretty close to being evicted. Is there anything else I can be doing to detox all this from my head???????? I can deal with most of the physical problems. I can't do it mentally though. I really don't want to stop treatment again. I just don't know what to do.
Posted 7/16/2017 12:24 AM (GMT 0)
Traci, can you ask your doctor to lower your dosages for now or maybe pulse them for awhile to get your bacterial load lower? When I first started treatment the herxes were quite bad but somehow I forged through them. I didn't have young ones at home to take care of like you do which has to make it more difficult. What are the worst symptoms that you are experiencing? Maybe we then know what would be helpful for you.

You definately need to take binders. Many take activated charcoal. I take 2 caps during the middle of the night. It has to be taken 2 hours before or after anything. Drink a glass of water with it to prevent constipation. Curcumin and Quercitin are good anti-inflammatories. Drink plenty of water to flush the toxins out of your system and make sure you move your bowels daily.

Patty xo
Posted 7/16/2017 12:39 AM (GMT 0)
I'm on 100mg of the doxy and 500mg of the cyst buster. I was taking the cyst buster everyday twice the first time. But now i'm taking 1 a day 3 days on and 4 days off. The doxy I still take everyday twice a day. The doxy didn't bother be too much until I started taking the cyst buster with it.

My symptoms:

extreme fatigue/Sleepiness
BRAIN FOG
Migraines
Intrusive thoughts
Anxiety, Depression, Anger
Nerve pain in face
Fullness in ears
Hearing loss that comes and goes
Confusion, (Can't think correctly)
Swollen joints
Pain through out body mainly in joints and muscles
Heart palpitations/ slow heart beat

I'm sure there's more but this is all I can think of. And thank you. I'm taking a couple of activated charcoal a day but I think I'm going to up my dosage and definitely take some and in the middle of the night to see if that will help with the neurological symptoms.
Posted 7/16/2017 3:00 AM (GMT 0)
Traci, I have healed from lyme. Actually I liken it more to remission, but that is another subject.

Anyway, I had horrible nightmares, weird thoughts, I could not complete a sentence and my husband watched as I searched for the right word. Which I am a very wordy person.....

I was not me.

Treatment and you get everything back. It is not permanent.

Hang in there and keep treating.
Posted 7/16/2017 3:31 AM (GMT 0)
Traci-

One thing that has made a remarkable different for me is doing ozone saunas. Since I've started, I have experienced a drastic shift for the better. I was hesitant to try this because of cost, time, etc. However, it has been one of the best things I have done to get better. I am not sure where you live, but try doing a google search to see if you can find a LLMD or a holistic clinic that offers this. I actually go to a raw food restaurant in Chicago that offers all sorts of detox methods (colonics, infrared sauna, hyperbaric oxygen, and ozone). And that is how I started doing it. It could help clear your head. Worth a try.
Posted 7/16/2017 3:14 PM (GMT 0)
It's the lyme. Keep telling yourself that. I think we've all had it. For me, I have constant thoughts that bad things are going to happen. I actually envision my husband falling down the stairs or falling over the balcony. It's horrible. The BEST thing that has helped it sticking with treatment and CBD oil. It really, really, really curbs the spin outs. I don't know what I'd do without it.
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