Dissociation / derealization / depersonalization / rage

I struggle a lot with these 3 symptoms. I feel like I do not know who my parents are. These symptoms make me feel suicidal so I use cannabis pure thc oil so I don't do anything drastic. But I feel that the oil makes my dp/dr as well as my physical pain worse sometimes, but if I don't take it I feel awfully suicidal. Quite the dilemma
Tested positive for many infections but most importantly bartonella and Lyme

silentlyme i see you are new. check out the new to lyme section.

yes those symptoms are primarily related to bart. are you treating them with anything?

silentlyme -

I'm so sorry you're struggling with those sx. They are BY FAR my worst sx - I can manage the pain and discomfort and limited existence. But the feeling of losing your mind and your connection to the world around you is absolutely terrifying---and very dangerous for some.

You're so very smart to post and share your thoughts - I think that is a critical step in managing this as well as possible. So please continue to use this forum as a lifeline. There are also good resources and hotlines listed in the "New to Lyme?" thread Rikky mentioned. Please have those handy and use them whenever you feel necessary.

The neuro-psycho issues you described are neurotransmitter imbalances that can be triggered by several means - either the infections themselves, herxing from the treatment due to neurotoxin overload, and/or GI trouble (don't forget the gut-brain connection proved with the scientific findings of the blood vessels connecting the two) so gut health and detoxing is important.

If you've partnered with a Lyme specialist to treat, please also reach out to them and let them know how you're feeling - do it more than once if they aren't responding. Perhaps you can explore with them an adjustment to your protocol - or two. You might feel a little better by slowing treatment down, and/or increasing detox and/or incorporating other support.

For the first few weeks after I started Rocephin IV for Lyme, and again when I started Vancomycin IV for bart, I had horrible, wild oscillations between several different extreme emotions like terror, remorse sadness, rage, panic, including the dissociation, depersonalization, etc... on an hourly basis, 24 hrs a day. It was the worst thing I have ever experienced.

I continued slowly titrating up detox and acclimating to the abx doses and the craziness finally slowly waned to a manageable level after a few weeks, and over a couple of years the sx are many times gone or unnoticeable. I focused on GI health AND incorporated a very strong GI binder. I also had success with Nutramedix Pinella and Burbur tinctures and incorporated an anti-inflammatory (japanese knotweed and turmeric).

It took awhile to figure out my unique formula to reduce those sx and rebalance neurotransmitters but I made a lot of progress with the above steps.

And please continue posting - you are NOT alone, many of us are experiencing the same sx.

-p

I have bart and my God, the dissociation is demonstrable. It's been by far my first and worst symptom and sometimes is so bad i have been found wandering across highways and digging through dumpsters.
I am told this is a major bartonella symptom so i have hope that this can be cleared with time on the right treatment. You're not alone and trust that you're not going crazy, despite feeling like it