Posted 4/4/2021 4:23 PM (GMT 0)
I find stores greatly overstimulating. The buzzing and glare of the lighting, the ambient noise, the whooshing HVAC, the chemicals in the cleaning products and on other customers, the endless array of colors and shapes piled high down each aisle, people and carts and things to read and process and choose.
For me, a few things are going on. One, my system simply is sensitized to all those inputs - sound, light, movement, odors, etc. Two, when I have been feeling bad, chances are I have been isolated and sedentary, and not accustomed to being out in the world; it's akin to agoraphobia, perhaps, and I feel my brain shut down and get overwhelmed in a stimulating place like a supermarket. Third, I think my system overreacts to the normal amount of adrenaline pumped out of my adrenal glands as though something big is happening.
Often I will feel okay on the day I attempt a shopping trip, and then end up feeling like it was a bad idea after all. But it isn't really. I think it's a matter of reacclimating, at least for me, because I have spent such long stretches isolated. Overstimulation is a big deal for me but gets better gradually. It makes sense that a system used to being in a controlled, quiet house most of the time would shut down if taken to a carnival. Desensitization training seems to be what I need in those circumstances.
In your example specifically, I know I'd be reacting to the chemicals in the air at a shop with bike supplies - the rubber tires off-gassing, the chain grease, etc.
Not sure if any of this resonates with you, but I can say that I definitely understand how frustrating it is to want to be in the world and do something, and to have your body check out. I look forward to the day when I find my body more reliable!