Need Some Hope Today...

After a couple of weeks that seemed better than any in recent memory, I was hit hard last night. Joint aches, racing thoughts, dizziness, nausea - the works. As much as I try to maintain a good mood, for the sake of my physical well-being, I have been failing miserably today.

I graduated college last year, after a year or two of progressively worsening symptoms, and started treatment ~10 months ago. I've gotten through this illness so far with the help of pretty rigid compartmentalization. I try not to dwell on anxiety-ridden thoughts about the future, and focus on the things I'm excited to accomplish in life (release music I've been working on, start a web-design business, travel the world, etc...). I tell myself everyday that I will reach remission... that I will feel like the vibrant, energetic person I used to be. That I'll reclaim the health I need to accomplish what I want to accomplish.

But is that realistic? Are these realistic goals? On one hand, I'm in a position financially to treat as long as I need to, and have a very talented doctor who is helping me treat in a very holistic manner, addressing my infections, immune system, mold, detox, etc... On the other hand, it seems like so many Lymies treat for years, just to attain a moderate level of management that allows them to be semi-functional.

I've been hanging on to the idea that I can still achieve all that I want to in life. That I won't be limited in the future by a lack of energy and be forced to highly regulate my lifestyle. But today I can't help worrying about the other option. That I might spend the majority of my 20's struggling with this illness, achieving a semi-functional lifestyle in which most of my previous goals aren't feasible, and living the rest of my life in a constant state of semi-disability.

I guess I'm just sad. What do you guys think? Do you know many people who've been cured (not semi-functional - legitimately feeling at 98-100%)? Is that a realistic possibility?

Any kind thoughts would be greatly appreciated

“ I guess I'm just sad. What do you guys think? Do you know many people who've been cured (not semi-functional - legitimately feeling at 98-100%)? Is that a realistic possibility?“

I do know several - some here on the forum plus several in “real life”
I live on the West coast of Canada on an island and we don’t hear much about Lyme disease here -

I would say I’m at 90% +/- 5%

I am back to work after 6+ years off due to Lyme.

Had approx 35 +/- symptoms and I have a couple left - short term memory and pain in the thoracic (left side), left arm/hand.

Feet are a little stiff sometimes in the morning when I get out of bed.

I am no longer hesitating to make plans due to not knowing how I will be that day.

Hubby and I are planning vacations (darn Covid!) when able - want to go to Hawaii and also Europe (mainly France)

Girlie said...
“ I guess I'm just sad. What do you guys think? Do you know many people who've been cured (not semi-functional - legitimately feeling at 98-100%)? Is that a realistic possibility?“

I do know several - some here on the forum plus several in “real life”
I live on the West coast of Canada on an island and we don’t hear much about Lyme disease here -

I would say I’m at 90% +/- 5%

I am back to work after 6+ years off due to Lyme.

Had approx 35 +/- symptoms and I have a couple left - short term memory and pain in the thoracic (left side), left arm/hand.

Feet are a little stiff sometimes in the morning when I get out of bed.

I am no longer hesitating to make plans due to not knowing how I will be that day.

Hubby and I are planning vacations (darn Covid!) when able - want to go to Hawaii and also Europe (mainly France)

That's great, Girlie! I can't help but smile when reading posts like yours. I'm sure feeling that well after years of illness must be incredible. It helps hearing that you know people who have been cured.

I hope you beat that last 5-10%, and never have to deal w/ Lyme or co's again.

Girlie said...
“ I'm sure feeling that well after years of illness must be incredible.“

Well not really - Even with only a few symptoms left and being fully functional - LYME is constantly on my mind.
Partly because I am still treating one week per month for maintenance at this point.

True. I understand how much the mental weight of having Lyme might affect someone even after being mostly healed. But still better than being super sick! Hopefully as time goes by, you think about it less.

“ True. I understand how much the mental weight of having Lyme might affect someone even after being mostly healed. But still better than being super sick! Hopefully as time goes by, you think about it less.“

Definitely !