BlazerGermany said...
I am getting really really impaitient at the Moment.
I want to be in Remission. I know i have to be grateful because i am better then before and i moved from mod-severe to moderate but still. I hate being sick so Bad. Its so stupid..
I want to be at a bar drink a Beer with my Friends and listen to country music get baptized finally and live a good conservative Life and Work hard.
I cant even Work i hate this so much i am so done with this crap
When in reality i do feel better then i have before but i feel i am super plateaud and dont move forward.
I guess I feel a bit odd posting here as I've concluded that I don't have lyme so I feel like I'm not of much use.
However, your frustrations are understandable. This life comes with so many challenges. It is great that you're grateful for the improvements you have made and it is valid for you to be frustrated that things aren't moving along as we hope.
Medicine - most of the time - has promised an answer and a time frame for most illness. With everything, there are uncertainties and challenges but generally medicine generally insists that things will be okay, in the case of acute problems.
Sadly medicine being geared towards acute and not chronic problems is the reality and will continue to be. Life and death can't really wait, whereas if you're tired, it's just a case of "well you're not dead or dying." Even though a chronic illness can feel like a slow, long drawn out death at times.
Those things are great to hold on to, your goals in life. Hold on to them, work towards them however you can. Someday you'll get there.
One day at a time has been a helpful perspective for me. In some especially dark, grim moments.
I pray and hope we'll all get there some day. Whenever that is, God knows.