For Michelejc

This was discussed for two days and not a word from the Lyme forum moderator. I even said if anyone feels the need to re-open the thread, then do it.

And my reading comprehension is fine.

Michelejc, have you considered that maybe the Lyme forum moderators didn't see it yet?

Why does it bother you so much, if you don't mind me asking?

I can't imagine telling someone that's feeling suicidal to take a walk.
I'd be so ashamed of myself as a person.

I'd like to suggest a pause on posting on this topic for a while.

Ultimately, I think all sides have the best interest of destiny -- the person who made the recent post about their mental health struggle.

Michelejc was simply following the long-established forum rules around the topic. As for whether the forum rules are still relevant or should be modified in some way, that's a different matter. We could ask the new forum owners about revisiting the rules, but they don't appear to be very engaged at the moment.

Also, as Michelejc stated, they discussed this with other forum moderators, no Lyme moderators participated in that discussion, and they provided a remedy by telling other moderators to unlock the thread, if deemed appropriate. I'm guessing Girlie could still do so, if/when she sees those threads. She's on the forum less, these days, since she's (thankfully) doing much better.

As for the non-moderator members, the concern was that destiny (and, potentially, others in the future) might not get the support they need. This is understandable. However, I see this issue from both sides: (1) wanting to provide support and allow users to vent their feelings, and (2) steering those struggling folks toward mental health professionals who are trained to handle such critical and delicate conversations.

That's what should have been done in the initial thread, in addition to providing emotional peer support. I failed in doing this, too, because I felt it was too robotic and it doesn't seem that previous postings with information about the "988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline" (https://988lifeline.org) ever did much good. By that, I mean I don't ever recall anyone coming back and posting that they contacted that hotline and it made a difference. The fact is, I have no idea if anyone ever contacted them and whether it made a difference or not. Still, I should have posted the information and left it up to others to decide if they want to contact that resource.

Anything involving humans and especially their emotions (of which these recent threads are obviously full) are always going to be difficult to navigate. Things get further muddled by insult and attack. That almost always makes things worse, because, no matter how rational we try to be, humans are actually quite irrational beings. All of us, myself included. We're affected by so many things that go back to our beginning. So, it's difficult to engage with someone in a written format like this and assume we're all in the same place and have the same experiences, feelings, and even ideas about what anything means.

Years ago, while in therapy with a former partner, the therapist told me that if I'd gone through what my partner had gone through, if I'd had her same upbringing, and had her same (emotional) wounds, then I would be saying and doing the same things she was saying and doing. This is where the phrase the Stephen Covey advice to: "Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood" can really be helpful.

Thanks for attending my TED Talk. Feel free to use or ignore the information.

Dude

Disclaimer: No fingers were inserted into any bums in the making of this post.
_

Post Edited (The Dude Abides) : 6/12/2024 3:06:43 PM (GMT-8)

The Dude Abides said...
I'd like to suggest a pause on posting on this topic for a while.

Ultimately, I think all sides have the best interest of destiny -- the person who made the recent post about their mental health struggle.

Michelejc was simply following the long-established forum rules around the topic. As for whether the forum rules are still relevant or should be modified in some way, that's a different matter. We could ask the new forum owners about revisiting the rules, but they don't appear to be very engaged at the moment.

Also, as Michelejc stated, they discussed this with other forum moderators, no Lyme moderators participated in that discussion, and they provided a remedy by telling other moderators to unlock the thread, if deemed appropriate. I'm guessing Girlie could still do so, if/when she sees those threads. She's on the forum less, these days, since she's (thankfully) doing much better.

As for the non-moderator members, the concern was that destiny (and, potentially, others in the future) might not get the support they need. This is understandable. However, I see this issue from both sides: (1) wanting to provide support and allow users to vent their feelings, and (2) steering those struggling folks toward mental health professionals who are trained to handle such critical and delicate conversations.

That's what should have been done in the initial thread, in addition to providing emotional peer support. I failed in doing this, too, because I felt it was too robotic and it doesn't seem that previous postings with information about the "988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline" (https://988lifeline.org) ever did much good. By that, I mean I don't ever recall anyone coming back and posting that they contacted that hotline and it made a difference. The fact is, I have no idea if anyone ever contacted them and whether it made a difference or not. Still, I should have posted the information and left it up to others to decide if they want to contact that resource.

Anything involving humans and especially their emotions (of which these recent threads are obviously full) are always going to be difficult to navigate. Things get further muddled by insult and attack. That almost always makes things worse, because, no matter how rational we try to be, humans are actually quite irrational beings. All of us, myself included. We're affected by so many things that go back to our beginning. So, it's difficult to engage with someone in a written format like this and assume we're all in the same place and have the same experiences, feelings, and even ideas about what anything means.

Years ago, while in therapy with a former partner, the therapist told me that if I'd gone through what my partner had gone through, if I'd had her same upbringing, and had her same (emotional) wounds, then I would be saying and doing the same things she was saying and doing. This is where the phrase the Stephen Covey advice to: "Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood" can really be helpful.

Thanks for attending my TED Talk. Feel free to use or ignore the information.

Dude

Disclaimer: No fingers were inserted into any bums in the making of this post.
_

Thank you. And yes, we were following long standing rules of the entire forum.

fergleman said...
The Dude Abides made some very balanced points.

However I beg to differ. You are being disingenuous. I posted the rules and it emphatically states "THREATS" not, "I feel down and depressed and wonder what's the point in my life." Or "I'm dealing with thoughts I don't want to have nor do I know why I'm having them." Which was the gist of the thread you abruptly closed.

Lyme and coinfections can and does cause suicidal ideation and homicidal ideation


There were no threats given in the thread. Only their feelings. There wasn't even a plan of action spoken of.

These threads have been popping up for years. https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=4015767



And so what if one of the mods saw it? It's different territory. You know we had a thread in 2021, discussing that someone had actually passed away, due to the psychological damage this disease does to people, as well as the sheer difficulty of it.

https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=30&m=4270836

I don't even like ripping on people's decisions but this is an overreach. We're all here for support on these forums. This was a mistake though and you should just own it instead of acting like none of what I posted is the reality.

I'm not owning what I thought was the right thing to do. It's a slippery slope when discussing "feelings of suicide, threatening suicide", and I'm not going to put the owners of this forum in any type of jeopardy.

When you own forums, which I do, you have to be careful about what is posted on said forums.

Michelejc said...
This was discussed for two days and not a word from the Lyme forum moderator. I even said if anyone feels the need to re-open the thread, then do it.

And my reading comprehension is fine.

I for one - did not see it.
I do not read all posts EVERY day.

brantheman said...
Btw, I have decided I might have overreacted in an unprofessional manner


Sorry for that, my brain is Kinda fried.

But still I think the Moderation should be done from the mods Here that WE know, Not from an Outsider. I Hope thats understandable

Cheers and have a great day ya'll

Cheers Brantheman 👍

have a great day yourself!