What helps you deal with guilt?

Hi all,

I wrote in another thread about dealing with guilt..  I know many pray..  I find that trying to accept situations that I can not change helps me..  To forgive myself that I know is not my fault helps (i.e.:  I did not ask to get infected with lyme), etc.

Also found this article that is interesing about guilt..

http://www.life-with-confidence.com/deal-with-feeling-guilty.html#wxTFAPoGs0uJdX1A

In this article it gives 7 reasons about feeling guilty.

1.  You feel guilty when you're trying to avoid something:

Whoa, that's a biggie for me.. I am the queen of avoidance!  I feel better when I start taking action instead of avoiding it.. 

2.  Reacting to a situation instead of choosing your response:

I take time out to think everything out before I react..  This took me years to learn..

And the list goes on...

What helps you deal better?

Denise

Hi seekingbalance,

I don't avoid everything especially things that have to do with my health such as detoxing and taking my supplements..  But I know I need to do certain things and I put them off because I have soooooo much to do!  For example, I knew I had to get my car inspected and I kept putting that off, then I got a ticket so the very next day I got my car inspected..  Really stupid of me but I'm not going to beat myself up over that..

As far as getting infected with lyme, I didn't ask to get infected, no one does..  You don't walk around and say "hey tick, come and infect me!"..   Or if I was born with it from my mother, I didn't ask for that either..    I think these are things we have to remind ourselves, that getting infected is NOT our fault...  No one lives in a bubble..  At least no one that I know, LOL!

When I was sick I learned to stop reaching out to people that I adored because I knew they didn't get it (after trying to get them to understand) and never would (including my family)..  I just stayed quiet and talked about other things (safe topics).   I didn't make lyme the focus of my life even though it was when I was really sick..    I also found the forums (posts) to help me the most...  That's where I received the most support, thank goodness for the lyme forums! 

Denise

I try and live in the moment and not look back and not look too far ahead. I had a lot of guilt with my kids, but the guilt was getting in the way of my relationship with them now. I can't re do the past, just where I am right now. It takes practice to ignore the guilt, but God forgives me, so why is it so hard for me?

None of us chose Lyme. Ease up on yourself and with every negative thought, tell yourself something good you did recently. Even the small things.

That is my two cents on how I deal with it. Hope it helps.

That river in Egypt? :)
I struggle with it too. Mostly wrt my children...when I think of the things I *should* be doing with them on the days I cannot get off the couch...

Gosh I too have guilt. And I know guilt can be instructive (as well as very very destructive) as mentioned by the sweet person who put the 7 tips of dealing with guilt wrote (I can't remember name I am sorry)It's instructive because I took the guilt I felt from being a non fun too tired to do anything mom to trying to reestablish a relationship with my now much older  son and thank God it is working.  The kids did suffer because of this so did (does) my husband, so I do feel like crap about it.  Thing is I don't know if he stays with me because he feels sorry for me and thinks I can't  manage w/o me.  He seems happy we laugh a lot and are like best friends but its still got to be hard for him. He went to bed,  15 min later I am in there, he groggily says what's wrong I say I can't find the ---- u bought me.  He rolls his eyes and says I try.  I then think well wouldn't they be in mi purse and I have no idea where that is.   Now I sit and I think all I have to do yet is clean myself up  and I am done for the day.  Earlier I thought I'd take a small nap turned out I slept way too long, I rode horses yesterday must have put me out of commision for today.   Do any of u find washing up to be a dreaded chore because u are tired?  well i've rambled enough, sorry bout that, but I am glad guilt was brought up thank u.  I think I have enough to fill an 8000  square foot home and I am going to have to figure out what to do with it (I was denying it until I read this post)  I am just full of wonderful little defense mechanisms.  Good night all I hope tomorrow is wonderful for all of u and I say this really really hoping praying it will be.  lisa

I have a 4 1/2 year old son and 3 year old daughter. I was probably sick with Lyme already during pregnancy with my son (horrid pregnancy w/ premature birth), but I became full-fledged symptomatic after my daughter was born. I have been ill her whole life. Maybe this is better--she is thus less aware of how ill I am, having no comparison time of when I was relatively healthy.

Guilt can also be a guide to positive action I suppose. But frequently it is all-encompassing and destructive internally, *this* is the guilt we need to find a way to deal with. Forgiving myself for real poor choices in life is something I need to work on, but the completely undeserved guilt of having Lyme is also damaging.

I suppose the only method I have right now is to try and have the energy to stop my negative thoughts and challenge them ( ask myself where is the evidence that I am to blame for having Lyme), but I still see the best medicine for this is this group :) I think I need to make sure I have a "daily dose" from here, to regain perspective.....

Thank you Lymiegirl.