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I hate feeling like a stranger in my own body

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Posted 4/5/2011 12:43 AM (GMT 0)
I try to keep fighting everyday. But dealing with Neuro lyme is uncomfortable... I feel so out of it! I just want to feel like myself againg && recognize myself when i look in the mirror.. Has anyone suffered this & felt better?
Posted 4/5/2011 12:40 PM (GMT 0)
I found that it does take some time to feel better. There were days I felt so out of it I cried and cried. But those days are over now and the good days are far more frequent and last longer.

Bad days or bad 1/2 days still creep in.....but in my case the bad days are like clockwork IF I don't get a good nights sleep. But that's just me.

There are days I feel completely normal--- like my old self. My LLMD says that days like this will become waaaay more frequent.

I am seeing progress and enjoy the great days as much as I can......and I try not to let the bad ones get me down.

You just have to hang in there.
Posted 4/5/2011 1:52 PM (GMT 0)
Yes, fighting neuro lyme is uncomfortable -- what an understatement! At times it seems like you are actually at war with your own body.

I am nearing the end of my treatment and can assure you you will feel better. I feel quite good most days and even have days where I think I might be able to take over the world... or at least my world! There are still some days I am not quite up to par, but I am told by my family that everybody has those and I should not be pushing myself so far.

Keep fighting -- it is so worth it!
Posted 4/5/2011 2:00 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much, You truley made me smile. Im glad i can speak with people that relate to me & has felt better :) thank you
Posted 4/5/2011 2:42 PM (GMT 0)
Achieving~
Should we be concerned that you really might take over the world? smilewinkgrin giggle!!!
Posted 4/5/2011 3:33 PM (GMT 0)
I have been the most ill over the last 12 years - although I was infected the first time back at the age of 5- I have had many days like you speak of! It's a terrible feeling, but don't let yourself get 'stuck' there!

I have had to basically remake myself- but it has worked out well for me. I am now who I have really always been!!! My 'core self' is being recognized and believe it or not - my tick-borne infections have been a 'help' ...almost! It has made me slow down. I have discovered that I really like to take the time to help people, and have a garden every year - for just a couple of examples.

This disease does not have to change who you are. Maybe, like me, you might be better able to see who you want to be since so many of us are forced to slow down???

What ever ends up happening, don't let these infections take any more of your life than necessary. Always fight for your health!!!

PS - this is supposed to come across as something akin to inspiration!! smilewinkgrin
Posted 4/5/2011 11:00 PM (GMT 0)
Yes you will feel better. I have had to change my lifestyle from a workaholic, control freak to a more relaxed and more refined self but who says thats all bad. I have many more good days than bad as long as I keep the stress away and take care to get enough rest and detox. I still don't socialize much as it causes me alot of anxiety but that's ok, I'll exchange the parties for the sanctity of my home and family that I love. Stay positive and you will get there!!
Posted 4/5/2011 11:00 PM (GMT 0)
Yes you will feel better. I have had to change my lifestyle from a workaholic, control freak to a more relaxed and more refined self but who says thats all bad. I have many more good days than bad as long as I keep the stress away and take care to get enough rest and detox. I still don't socialize much as it causes me alot of anxiety but that's ok, I'll exchange the parties for the sanctity of my home and family that I love. Stay positive and you will get there!!
Posted 4/6/2011 12:09 AM (GMT 0)
yes. I know what you are feeling. I used to feel that way too a long time ago. It is by far one of the worst feelings, but I used to say the same thing as you. I was just an empty shell and didn't even recognize my own name. I was not me with lyme, but it does get better and that feeling will go away when you are better. It isn't you, it is just how the lyme is making you feel. Once the lyme is gone, the real you will still be there I promise.

Hang in there. It is worth fighting to get yourself back and you will.
Posted 4/6/2011 12:22 AM (GMT 0)

Lymie20 said...
I try to keep fighting everyday. But dealing with Neuro lyme is uncomfortable... I feel so out of it! I just want to feel like myself againg && recognize myself when i look in the mirror.. Has anyone suffered this & felt better?

Tell me about it. I have been having alot of weird thoughts, look weird in the mirror and feel like I took a small dose of shrooms. I feel like a different person it's so bizarre.
Posted 4/6/2011 1:20 PM (GMT 0)
I actually used to say when I was at my worst that I felt like I was on a bad acid trip that wouldn't end. Scary to feel like you are on drugs when your not, but keep with treatment because it does work and those feelings do go away. I never felt that way again after I got better.
Posted 4/6/2011 9:14 PM (GMT 0)
I've looked at my arms and they seem like there not even attached to my body. I've looked at my wife of 20+ yrs and thought how foreign she looks to me. I went into the school restroom when I was in high school and, for a few seconds, couldn't remember where I was or how to get out. When playing high school basketball our coach would call a time out, and after the timeout I could have sworn that we were shooting at the other end of the court than what we actually were. I have times where I will feel like I am waking up over and over, a lost, confused feeling. I almost always feel like I'm looking at things through a camera or backwards bi-noculars. And that's on the good days!!!
Posted 4/7/2011 1:30 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for the positive feedback that this will past, i appreciate it :)
Posted 4/7/2011 1:51 PM (GMT 0)
Bbcoach,
Are you detoxing? After reading several of your recent posts, you sound like you are where I was about 4 years ago. What made a difference for me was detoxing.
Posted 4/8/2011 5:52 PM (GMT 0)
I can't say that I've had the druggy feelings you've had, but I have felt often that my life didn't turn out the way I expected. I was an environmental scientist working for EPA, but for the last 15 years I've pretty much been in bed on the computer. I have no stamina and have migraines every day. Even after the Lyme treatment I quit getting worse, but I didn't get much better. My husband seems to take it harder than I do. I could cry about the lost career and lost opportunities to socialize. But I take a lot of joy in my online friends, being home when my husband and son come home from work, listening to them practice music, reading, needlework, going out to eat occasionally. We travel...we take cruises where I can lay down any time I need to. I have a scooter that I can use in malls and museums. I have adapted, I have not given up. I still help people, I still create, I still love, I still learn, I still laugh. Even if this isn't how it was "supposed" to be...
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